Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-09-01
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

Pretzel Logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2004-11-24

This article shared 2091 times since Wed Nov 24, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Since it's about time to roast a turkey and all the family members who don't show up for Thanksgiving dinner, here's a Pretzel Logic look at Plymouth Rock.

I'll Drink To That

After a 63-day voyage, the Mayflower landed at Plymouth, Massachusetts because "the crew of the ship did not have enough beer to get to Virginia and back to England so they dropped the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock to preserve their beer stock."

Plymouth What?

The earliest contemporary accounts of the landing of the Mayflower make no mention at all of Plymouth Rock.

Happy Thanksgiving Wishes To All

A few of years ago, the city's Board of Selectmen erected plaques at Plymouth Rock declaring: "Native Americans do not celebrate the arrival of the Pilgrims and other European settlers. To them, Thanksgiving Day is a reminder of the genocide of millions of their people, the theft of their lands, and the relentless assault on their culture."

Does That Make Me Self-Hating?

Given the above plaque flack, what does someone like me do, when your maternal grandmother's family was 100% Indian, while my maternal grandfather's family came over to the New World in 1618, and may also have connections to some of the people who arrived on the Mayflower?

Pilgrim Political Correctness

Slogan I saw on a T-shirt for sale by a vendor at the 51st Annual Powwow held at the UIC Pavilion by the American Indian Center: "Don't call them homeless, unemployed, undocumented, illegal aliens. They prefer to call themselves Pilgrims."

Sorry To Disappoint The Drag Queens

The Mayflower Compact had noting to do with makeup.

Plus The Lesser-Known Fifth Child Named Tawonda

The four children of a Pilgrim named William Brewster, who arrived on the Mayflower, were: Love, Wrestling, Patience, and Fear.

Cornholing Cornish

Richard Cornish, of the Virginia Colony, was tried and hanged for sodomy in 1624.

But They Could Still Volunteer Just For The Fun Of It

On March 5, 1624, the colony of Virginia passed a law exempting the upper class from punishment by whipping.

Mayflower Cum-pact?

In 1637, John Alexander and Thomas Roberts were convicted of "often spendinge their seede one vpon another."

He Came Over On The Bi-flower

In 1641/42 Edward Michell, was convicted of "sodomye with Edward Preston, and other lude carryages with Lydia Hatch."

A Different Way Of Eating Turkey

In Plymouth, in 1642, "Thomas Graunger, late servant to Loue Brewster, of Duxborrow, was this Court indicted for buggery with a mare, a cowe, two goats, diuers sheepe, two calues, and a turkey, and was found guilty, and receiued sentence of death by hanging vntill he was dead."

And They Didn't Mean The Two-Legged Variety

In 1643, in Plymouth, John Walker was investigated for matters "concerning lying with a bitch."

That's Why You Never See Pictures Of Pilgrims In Short-Shorts

In 1645 a law was passed in Plymouth making it illegal to wear "visors and strang apparell to laciuious ends and purposes."

Putting The "Mouth" Into Plymouth

In 1650 Sarah White Norman, of Plymouth, was charged with "lude behauior with Mary Hammon vppon a bed," resulting in the first known conviction for lesbian activity in North America.

He Escaped A Stif Penalty

William Honywell was acquitted in 1666 of "buggery with a beast" after he "stifly deneyed it" and there wasn't enough other evidence against him.

If you have any misgivings over Thanksgiving, e-mail me at PretzelLogicDave@aol.com and tell me all about it.


This article shared 2091 times since Wed Nov 24, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

'Andersonville Homecoming' Sept. 24-26; line-up, vendors, safety protocols announced 2021-09-15
--From a press release - CHICAGO (Sept. 15, 2021) — The Andersonville Chamber of Commerce (ACC) is pleased to announce the full entertainment line-up and vendors for Andersonville Homecoming--a three-night, two-day outdoor festival featuring ...


Gay News

Next OUTspoken show Sept. 7 2021-08-24
- An OUTspoken Storytelling Night taking place Tuesday, Sept. 7, will offer tales told by six people who will relate their stories of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective. The entertainment will start at 7 p.m. ...


Gay News

Taste of River North cancelled 2021-07-29
- On July 29, the River North Residents Association, along with theMART and Duff Entertainment, announced the cancellation of the 2021 edition of Taste of River North. The event was slated to take place Aug. 20-21 at ...


Gay News

OUTspoken storytelling to host six takes from LGBTQ+ perspective 2021-07-26
--From a press release - The month of August is hot - but OUTspoken at the Sidetrack will be even hotter on Aug. 3 when six storytellers will tell tales of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective! The program will start at 7:00 pm at ...


Gay News

LGBTQIA+ tavern to open in Uptown this fall 2021-07-14
- 2Bears Tavern Group—which owns and operates Andersonville's The SoFo Tap and Meeting House Tavern as well as Rogers Park's Jackhammer—is opening 2Bears Tavern Uptown in the former Nick's on Wilson space at 1140 W. Wilson Ave. ...


Gay News

Pride Parade coordinator provides latest on the 'likely scenario' for event 2021-05-08
- Tim Frye, the coordinator of the 2021 Pride Parade, told Windy City Times that the assessment of this year's event has not changed over the last few weeks. The official statement/assessment at this point is: "We ...


Gay News

OUTspoken Storytelling to host tales from LGBTQ perspectives Nov. 10 2020-11-01
--From a press release - Another exciting OUTspoken Storytelling Night will offer the perspective of four Chicagoans telling life's stories from their LGBTQ+ viewpoint or that of their close friends and relatives, Tuesday, Nov. 10, starting at 7 p.m. on Zoom. ...


Gay News

Arts in the Dark Halloween Parade, this year a drive-through 2020-10-26
--From a Chicago Park District press release - CHICAGO: LUMA8, in collaboration with the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE), the Chicago Park District and Presenting Sponsor, the Blommer Chocolate Company, is pleased to announce Arts in the Dark - an UPSIDE ...


Gay News

Nightlines 1990-2001, Nightspots 2001-2015 2020-09-30
- Throughout the 1990s, Nightlines focused on the LGBTQ entertainment scene, from the bars to the stage and everything in between. With the new millennium came a significant format change as Nightspots focused in on the bar ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Former Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster dies at 37 2020-09-27
- Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster died Sept. 17 unexpectedly at the age of 37. At the time of this article's publication, Sangster's cause of death is unknown. Sangster was born June 4, 1983, on a Jacksonville, North ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Gay business owner/nightlife figure Bob Yeaworth dies 2020-09-20
- Gay business owner and promoter Robert "Bob" Yeaworth died Sept. 14 from complications due to his ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig's disease) diagnosis. He was 64. Yeaworth was born Sept. 17, 1955 in Cincinnati, Ohio, ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Medusa's owner Dave Shelton passes away 2020-08-19
- Dave Shelton, a.k.a. Dave "Medusa" Shelton—so named for his trademark frizzy locks— "just was different," recalled his good friend of 45 years, Richard Cooke. Shelton was the proprietor of the iconic nightspot Medusa's on Sheffield in ...


Gay News

Gerber/Hart fall benefit Sept. 12-13 2020-08-08
- The Gerber/Hart Library and Archives fall benefit—"Saving LGBTQ History: Archives in a Time of Activism"—will take place Sept. 12-13 at the venue, 6500 N. Clark St. On those days, there will be a series of 90-minute ...


Gay News

Holocaust Museum's virtual soiree Sept. 2 2020-08-06
- On Wed., Sept. 2, Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center's Women's Leadership Committee will host its annual soirée virtually. The event will stream live from a studio with a star-studded line-up featuring a musical performance by ...


Gay News

Virtual OPALGA+ scholarship gala slated for Oct. 24 2020-08-06
- OPALGA+/Oak Park Area Lesbian & Gay Association will hold a virtual scholarship gala Saturday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. The event will feature video clips from the organization's scholarship winners, the Founder's Award celebration and opportunities ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.