This year's Grammy show lacked the brilliance to be really special, and lacked the weirdness to be really fun. But regardless of that, here's a Pretzel Logic look at the award show, with a couple of general music items thrown in simply to get this column close to 550 words.
Call Him Dustbin Tossman
Dustin Hoffman referred to Bruce Springsteen as 'Bruce Springstreet.' Well, I guess that's what happens when you have some obscure musician take part in the show.
And He Sounded Like It Too
Based on the way he looked as he played the guitar and sang, Bruce Springsteen seemed like he was going to have an aneurysm.
Hill's Hemline
Dear Faith, the Grammy people have found the lower half of your dress, and you can claim it any time you want.
And She Doesn't Do It Very Well Either
I've heard Norah Jones' CD, and the best way to sum it up is: Britney Spears does jazz.
It Would Explain A Lot
Do they call them the 'Grammies' because the winners are chosen by a bunch of little old ladies?
What President Bush Would Sound Like As A War Protester
Fred Durst, of the group Limp Bizkit, inarticulately stammered through the only political commentary of the night when he said in a halting, and dull-witted manner: 'I just really hope we are all in agreeance (sic) that this war should go away as soon as possible.'
Two For The Price Of One?
Is it just a coincidence that Harvey Fierstein and Aretha Franklin were never seen on stage at the same time?
Well, 'Fire Island' Would Have Been OK
The one good thing about not having one person act as host of this year's Grammy show was that at least Dustin Hoffman was not around to introduce Harvey Fierstein as Harvey Fierstreet.
It's The Chicks By A Landslide
The Dixie Chicks won best country song for their recording of the song 'Landslide.' It was nice to see Fleetwood Mac include it on their recent 'Best Of' CD, even if their version is not quite as good at the original.
She Wouldn't Last One Minute At IML
18-year-old pop marketing sensation Avril Lavigne sings in one of her songs 'Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out.' Yeah, right. It sure looks as if it would take a whole helluva lot to do that. I really mean that, too. Honest.
Justin Case You Did Not Notice
The photo of Justin Timberlake on the cover of his solo album sure makes him look a lot more like Michael Bolton than he probably would ever want to admit.
Macy Grating
Although she was not part of this year's Grammy show, have you noticed that Macy Gray's singing sounds a lot like what Donald Duck would probably sound like if he were to inhale the contents of a helium balloon?
A Hot Time In the Old Town Tonight
Based on the relatively boring Grammy show this year, and the fact that Norah Jones won way too many awards, it's almost a pity they did not have the band Great White as the opening act. And remember, Eminem was in the building ...
I just really hope if you are in agreeance with me that the memory of this year's Grammy show should go away as soon as possible, that you will e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com
