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  NIGHTSPOTS

Pretzel Logic
Surgeries Ago
by David J. Magdziarz
2003-04-16

This article shared 1600 times since Wed Apr 16, 2003
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From oddly named Arabs to queer commercials and annoying e-mails & entertainers, here's this week's dose of pretzel crumbs.

Did He Get His Balls Out?

Computer hackers recently rerouted traffic to the web site for Al Jazeera, an influential Arab television network, to a pornography site. Al Jazeera's spokesman to the press about this incident was named Jihad Ali Ballout.

Veiled Ultimatum

A friend of mine's mother recently told him 'We better win this war, because I refuse to wear a veil.'

I Bet They Give Great Head (And Shoulders)

Suave, a line of discount haircare products, has introduced two commercials to push their new line of products for men, and in both commercials the men act in a stereotypically (straight) female manner. In one, two heterosexual couples are at dinner, and when one of the men gets up to go to the men's room, he invites the other guy to go with him. As they leave they start discussing the one guy's new haircut, to the concern of the women left behind. In the other commercial a guy sits down in a bar with two of his male friends, but he gets into a bit of a hissy fit when they do not notice his new hairdo. In both cases, the tag line spoken by the announcer is 'You're not a woman.' A bottom, almost certainly, but not a woman.

Not Exactly Getting A Swelled Head

Subject headings of some recent spam e-mails I have received: Want a king-size PENIS in one week?; Upsize Your Fly. This Works!; Ladies like it bigger. We guarantee it; add 1-3 inches; gain length and mass; All Natural, Proven methods for penis enlargement, click here to start today! (Over 18); Proven Enlargement; Ready to ENLARGE your penis? Our Proven Enlargement For Men; Are you still single??? Given all the others, the last one sort of answers itself.

Be Careful With Whom You Go To Restaurants

Accused wife-murderer Robert Blake has been out on bail for a few weeks now.

He Didn't Have To Do Much

A story in the Sun-Times mentioned that Michael Jackson lost a lawsuit brought by a concert promoter who sued Jackson for backing out of two New Year's Eve concerts to be held Dec. 31, 1999. The paper also reported that at one point in the trial, Jackson 'made comical faces at people in the courtroom.'

It Got Ugly Several

Surgeries Ago

In a Rolling Stone interview, Lisa Marie Presley admits that she did have sex with Michael Jackson for part of the time while she was married to him, but that 'It just got ugly at the end.'

Speaking Of Ugly

Lisa Marie has just released her first CD.

Is She Going To Gain 100 Lbs., Take Tons Of Drugs, And Wear Polyester Jumpsuits?

Celine Dion's new Las Vegas show just had its debut, and her husband/manager Rene Angelil, said of it: 'I compare the show tonight to the opening of Elvis at the Hilton.'

If you think the guys in the Suave commercials should get their balls out after upsizing their flies, e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com

If you have an eyewitness account of Celine Dion's Vegas debut you'd like to share with me, sorry, my e-mail account has been diverted by hackers to a porn site.


This article shared 1600 times since Wed Apr 16, 2003
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