Retired NFL player Esera Tuaolo ( left ) and his partner Mitchell Wherley ( right ) with PFLAG gala co-chair Michael Leppen. _________
As Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays ( PFLAG ) pushes the importance of acquiring straight allies nationwide, a workshop held on Nov. 3 by longtime PFLAG parents Dan and Nancy Tepfer of Ohio seemed fitting.
On the opening day of the Chicago-based PFLAG Midwest Conference, themed Heartland in Action, the couple gave a presentation entitled 'Having THOSE Conversations about Same-Gender Marriage,' a workshop designed to equip GLBT allies for conversations about gay marriage with friends, family and opposition.
'This movement requires courage,' Nancy Tepfer told the packed room.
'We have got to have more straight allies,' her husband added.
Their presentation was first shown at the Ohio Conference of the United Church of Christ ( UCC ) , and the couple has since presented the topic to numerous groups and churches in Ohio and beyond. Much of the basics that they covered—insights into GLBT people, arguments for marriage equality and a history of marriage—were already known well by most attendees. They were, after all, preaching to the choir.
But what the couple was able to help with were questions regarding dealing with right-wing conservatives who engage allies in circular arguments ( by constantly demanding examples and being prepared ) , and the importance of sharing personal stories and helping other allies through shared experiences about gay marriage.
Throughout the presentation, Nancy Tepfer spoke about faith, and gave alternative explanations to Biblical passages often cited by opposition.
She decided not to take out the biblical references for the PFLAG group, because ' [ w ] hen you have conversations about same-gender marriage, generally people have reservations of a religious basis,' Dan Tepfer said.
'For many of us, the Bible guides our lives and determines the positions we take, especially on marriage,' Nancy Tepfer agreed.
Interestingly, of hundreds of biblical references about heterosexual behaviors, only seven are about homosexual sex.
'But nowhere in the Bible is homosexuality referred to as sexual orientation as our understanding,' Nancy Tepfer added. 'It's beyond me why homosexual passages are lifted out as having validity to our lives.'
One of the most important ways of getting through to a potential ally is teaching him or her the realities of being lesbian or gay. As many expressed in the room after the presentation, sharing personal stories with co-workers, family and friends helps tremendously. 'A lot of times, their views of gay and lesbian marriage are influenced by who they think gay and lesbian people are,' Nancy Tepfer said.
Attendees also had opportunities to take part in other workshops and plenaries. Among those being held were Current Health Issues in the GLBT Community, with Howard Brown Health Center's Dr. Rob Garofalo; Getting Comprehensive Sex Ed into Our Schools, with PFLAG's Jonathan Stacks; and Don't Ask, Don't Tell in 2006, with former Air Force Master Sergeant and Windy City Times Director of New Media Jean Albright.
The 'You Are My Heart' Gala concluded things Nov. 4. [ See photos this issue. ]
