Answer: The same ways straight couples do! ( Though you won't learn that from mainstream media. )
By JASMINE WILSON
As a lesbian, I find it difficult to find an article about a lesbian or gay couple in the media. Often lesbian or gay couples are portrayed as not being really in love or as going through a phase. I don't believe that this is an accurate representation. Lesbian and gay couples do have genuine feelings for their partners, but the absence of their stories in mainstream media gives the impression that the love between lesbian couples does not exist.
It does, in fact, exist. I know.
I am currently in a relationship. My girlfriend and I are in love with each other, and it is authentic. I've also met another lesbian couple who are engaged—you can feel that their love for each other is true. It is the same as a love between a man and a woman. Nothing is different except for the fact that they are both women. I want to show everyone that the love between gay couples is as real and passionate as the love between a man and a woman.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a month. We met through friends in February 2007. We flirted around with each other for a while before we made it official. The day it happened was when we were in class passing notes to each other and she wrote, 'Would I date a friend?' I was hoping she meant her, so I responded, 'Yes!' The next day we began dating. As we walked through the halls she held my hand and kissed me on the cheek. I was so excited because I really liked her and wanted to be with her. It was awesome to know that she felt the same way.
My girlfriend and I had no idea that we would become so attached to each other. I had no idea anyone else could understand me as well as she does. I had no idea I would feel so connected with her. We have that closeness that so many people want but can't achieve. She is like my other half, she means everything to me and I would actually do anything for her. I put her before me—and I've never done that for anyone before. The bizarre thing is, she feels the exact same way.
In my experience, there is no difference in the process of falling in love between two young women and a straight couple. I'm sure many people who consider themselves straight have shared experiences similar to what I just recounted. If more stories like mine were present in mainstream media then people wouldn't get the false perception that gay people don't have true love for their partners.
The mainstream media often show persistent images that promote inaccurate and homophobic images of gay people and their relationships. This year saw the release of a 'Meet the Spartans,' a parody of 2007's hit film '300.' In the spoof, the Spartans are represented not only as gay but also as inherently promiscuous, kissing and hooking up with random people. They aren't portrayed in relationships or even caring about them.
If viewers were never exposed to truthful information about gay people and relationships, they would only have this representation of us to base their opinions on.
This angers me. I don't understand why an accurate representation of lesbian and gay couples is often off the table for most mainstream media outlets. Why can't a gay couple ever be portrayed as really being in love or having serious relationships? There are so many real life stories that accurately portray us, but no one wants to use them as the basis for a movie, a television show or even a magazine story.
I want to read about us, see us and hear us as really loving our partners. I don't want to see our relationships reduced to mere sexual gratification, and I don't want to see us portrayed as 'going through a phase'—that is very annoying and offensive. We know what we want and what we like. If media represent us fairly in the media then maybe so many people wouldn't have the negative perceptions of us. They'd understand that what we want and what we like in relationships is exactly like them.
Jasmine Wilson is a student at the Harvey Milk High School, in partnership with Hetrick-Martin Institute in New York. She is studying journalism and communications through courses offered by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and The New York Blade.
