THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

Sure, it's been a rough ride, but the poet and singer known for her guttural screams and message-driven, emotional music, cares only that Otep's songs have inspired many, including individuals who are struggling or isolated.

Windy City Times spoke with the passionate frontwoman about war, politics, isolation and much more during her last day at home before hitting the road to headline the Circuit of Democracy tour.

Catch Otep at Mokena's The Pearl Room on April 7.

Windy City Times: The tour is called Circus of Democracy. I was just wondering if the inspiration behind using that name has a little bit to do with the fact that we hit the five-year mark for the war in Iraq.

Otep Shamaya: Absolutely. It has everything to do with what is transpiring in this nation, and has been since the unfortunate 2000 election. I think, also, people like me who are amateur or political junkies have truly been waiting to be in this country and to live through an age where there is so much excitement and people taking ownership of their citizenship and everything that is sort of brewing right now.

WCT: For sure.

OS: It's really one of those times that you read about in history books that don't really come around very often. When it does, you have to—it's just going to be another page in the book if you don't get involved with it and if we don't get involved in it. I just wanted to mark this particular point in our country's growth by doing something very simple, which is trying to bring some attention to the people that are actually doing something and getting it out and getting involved, and show them that we are aware and we appreciate their courage and their conviction and passion. I think that our country, because people have not been so involved, has suffered from that. That's part of the reason why I wanted this. Also, I think there's a little bit of fun in this, because people would rather go to McDonald's than sit at a political rally.

WCT: Often, I wonder what's wrong with people. If this were happening 30 years ago people would be in the streets, right?

OS: Of course. I agree. But I think we're seeing that a little bit. But also, maybe—however long ago that was—maybe 30 years from now the memory of what went on will be as it was then. You know, we were all in the streets and remember all the bloggers on the Internet? I think that's going to be a part of it. I think if you look back on the history of that time period [ Vietnam ] , it was a series of these events with moments where nothing was going on and then [ there was ] a mass explosion of energy. But it is hard to sustain that, so it is going to come in cycles, and for lack of a greater word, a revolution. These things come back around and come back around and they do revolve.

Also, I wanted to have a little fun with it. People would rather sit down and watch a comedy on a television than sit down and watch a documentary about the war, and that is just fact. They want to be entertained. I wanted to make it fun for people to be involved in the circus of Democracy and maybe also shine a little bit of an editorial light of how I think our system of government has been misused and abused for so many years. We're trying to mix a little bit of fun and serious issues at the same time. I think that's how people like to be taught. How do most people learn about history? Watching TV or watching movies. It's not really in books anymore. Maybe it has been for a long time. That's where we learn about it.

WCT: And comedians seem to be able to mix politics—

OS: That's a really good point. They are our social observers. These days, it's the Daily Show and those types of people. You never know. Maybe Socrates would have been a hit on the Laugh Factory. He would have been a whiz with improv. [ Laughs ] .

WCT: What do you think of the race to the White House?

OS: I think it's exciting. I think the one thing that is glaringly overlooked is the sheer numbers of people that are coming out [ to vote ] . … The numbers are just staggering for the people who want change in this country, who want to get back to where we thought America was supposed to be heading. The biggest problem that I see, especially about people who claim to be patriots—you know, you can't bad-mouth America—and Obama is kind of going through that with his reverend or minister. We can't ignore the fact that America has not had a stellar past. We were borne out of violence. We maintained our sovereignty through violence, we owned slaves in this country, women didn't have the right to vote until the 1920s—even though freed American slaves, Black men, had the right to vote in the 1850s, but whether or not they had the right to use that right is another thing. We have this problem, and then to go through those civil-rights movements and even how the government has cracked down on counterculture, like what happened at Kent State. I couldn't believe something like that passed away into the archives like it never happened. Our own National Guard fired on student protesters. We can't avoid that past.

What makes America so hopeful for people like me is our promised capacity of what we are alleged to become, what we still can become. It's not this sort of looking in the past king of thing. It's to know we've make mistakes and let's build on the stupidity of them and use that as a marker and that's how you know not to continue to do those things.

… It's a very promising time right now. I think Obama's campaign of hope feels great. He's an intelligent guy. And at least you can say one thing about America: We're strong enough to have lasted through all sorts of wars and all sorts of ridiculously moronic presidencies, as we have survived through this one. If we can get even someone with half a brain, that would be good, and who is not opportunist and not going to take advantage of situations for their own benefit and take our own national treasures, even our soldiers who are fighting gallantly in this illegal war. Let's put them to good use and reward them for their service. It's a very hopeful time. I think all of us are feeling it. Everyone from working class up is feeling this momentum and this change, and that's what we want. We want the beacon of America back—The White House. The light in the darkness.

WCT: What inspired you to start a band in the first place? I read you were doing street poetry performance at the time.

OS: You know, sometimes I don't know. I just wanted to try it. That's the biggest thing. I went to a music festival with a friend of mine who knew someone who was a manager of a band. I was watching them perform, and I couldn't believe how ridiculously awful they were, and just how terrible they were to their own fans. They were making terse remarks to the crowd and were insulting to the women. I said, 'This is what people are paying to see?' I looked at my friend and said, 'I can do this.' He was like, 'What are you talking about?' I said, 'I'll be here next year. I'll be at the festival.' He's like, 'Otep, you don't even have a band.' I was at Ozzfest.

WCT: And you were right!

OS: That's right. Next year I was on. When I bite my teeth into something, it's really hard for me to let go. I am one of those with a bunker mentality. I'll just shut off everything and focus and pull myself into my goal. Whether I fail or succeed really isn't the point. It's more about giving it everything, and it's the experience of that journey, whether I make it or not isn't what matters. Otherwise, I'm sitting still, and what's the point of that? That's really it. I guess I was just down to a point, creativity. Had my other creative outlets had been more fulfilling; I maybe wouldn't have pursued it as aggressively than I did. Had not the act of writing music been so fulfilling, I probably wouldn't have gone after it, as well. Those things, when I first started to get into that world, and all of a sudden, I was fusing the most basic elements of emotion and instinct with art and writing. It was really this great marriage that I wasn't willing to let go. Still, to this day, the performance of music keeps me going, especially in how strange the music industry is, who runs it, and all of those things. You don't have many music people running the music industry.

WCT: You have businesspeople.

OS: Those people usually take this job so they wouldn't have to work. It gives them a sort of, you know, doffs hipster air about them. They can be in the entertainment industry without having to know anything about it.

… It's the honest, emotional and spiritual satisfaction that I receive that keeps me doing what I do and enduring the things that don't make much sense to me sometimes.

WCT: It seems like you are highly motivated to achieve that. At the time, did you ever think that on your to road to achieving success, it would be really difficult because you are one of a handful of women and, so far, the only openly lesbian in metal? Did you ever think it would be an issue?

OS: I never even thought about it. I don't know if I was just being naïve. It just never entered my head that those things would matter, because they don't matter to me. They just don't. I don't put limitations of myself because of my gender. I don't put limitations on anyone else because of their gender. It just never occurred to me. I've always had a deep voice. Since I was four, you know? In kindergarten I played The Big, Bad Wolf. I was kind of forced into it because I had the deepest voice in school. I've always been able to do things that were just a part of my nature. I never backed down from a fight, no matter whom it was with. I didn't allow my economic status to prevent me from wanting the better things in life. I didn't stop my intellectual hungers because I was working class and working class people don't read physics or they aren't supposed to read ancient history. And women shouldn't be poets or whatever the stereotypes are. I just followed my own path and hunger.

I guess I figured out that if people don't like you, they just aren't going to like you. So why try to be someone else? Maybe I've tried. Everyone does try to fit in to be something they're not. I've gone that route and it always left me feeling sickly. I was ashamed of myself, at times, just for attempting to do something I knew was not me. Essentially, we all want to be happy in life, regardless of what car we drive or what zip code we live in.

WCT: Is that kind of why you created the online community You Are Not Alone? Just having experienced that yourself, you didn't want others to feel isolated?

OS: Yes. That was the hardest part. You can endure any burden and overcome any obstacle, but the hardest part is just the isolation and the loneliness of it, the feeling like you're in it alone or that no one understands your problems or that no one understands what you've been through. In fact, a lot of people probably have. I think that helps, and it has. It's helped so many people. There's not one stereotypes of one person that has found help through our site. We have Wall Street brokers and kids who are isolated in Alaska. They are all meeting and melding minds. It's a really beautiful thing that doesn't happen very often, and we're really glad to be a part of it.

WCT: So many different people and communities are impacted by isolation. Our primary readership is the gay and lesbian community. So many youth throughout the country feel isolated and alone, and there aren't a lot of outlets out there.

OS: They aren't. One of the things that bothers me the most—I live in Los Angeles and because of my Bohemian associations I'm able to meet a lot of people that are our folk and aren't out because they are afraid it will damage their career. My argument is, but that is who you are. There is some kid in Lincoln, Neb.—some isolated place like that—who is getting beat up or murdered because people still see this as a shameful lifestyle. It makes me so unhappy. I have such distaste for people who are afraid to really step up and step out for something that is a good cause, especially when so many people are isolated and alone.

WCT: What are they really going to lose compared to that kid in Nebraska?

OS: Right. What, are you going to lose a role in a Spielberg flick? Big deal. And why should you? There's nothing wrong with being who you are. It's silly, especially in this day and age. We shouldn't be hiding these things any more.

This community is about connecting people so that one isolated kid in Anchorage can have someone to share thoughts with. … I've seen these instances where people will come into the site, posting things about how the world is falling down and they don't know what to do—very dramatic. Then, the community rallies around them. Take a breath; we're here for you. Maybe a day or so will go by and someone else comes in. Maybe their world is falling down around them, and person who was just saying they've lost all hope is now counseling to that person.

WCT: That's so great.

OS: You see it changing people. Now, suddenly, they are not alone. It's really an amazing thing because it gives power to people, too. It allows them to be narrators and authors of their own lives, and also be able to help people out. By helping people out, I think they are able to understand their own experiences, their own emotions. When you are caught up in it, man, it's hard to decipher all of that. You might say something that all of a sudden is an epiphany for you. Who better to understand it if it's someone who has already been through it or going through it.

WCT: Your band is very fan-friendly. What responsibilities, as an artist, do you think you have to your fans?

OS: I think, as an artist, my job is to remain authentic and be true to my abilities and instincts. To do the things that motivates me and allows me to continue to grow. There are some people along the way who might not necessarily like that growth, but it is an honest growth. I have bands that I only like one record of. I have one record and then they change direction and that's it. Its just there was something on that album or piece of work that drew me in.

… I suppose it's just my job to remain as authentic as possible and continue to be vulnerable in my art, which I think a lot of artists stopped doing because I think they feel like they found this safe place and then all the notoriety and everything becomes about their personality, and not their art. Bands come out with these great first records. Then their second record is a sophomore slump—is that what they call it? It kind of goes away, but hopefully if they get that third album, it brings the excitement back. That's what I was hoping with this new record [ The Ascension ] . To get that hunger back from the first album, and use the skill and technique we learned in the second album … and kind of fuse those things together so that it truly is a hybrid of both albums I truly love, and smear that with something new with where we are in life.

WCT: People are always evolving.

OS: Always evolving. And if you're not, I don't like that about artists or people. I don't want to buy another album and you could play me a song off the new record that could be off your first record or a B-side off your first record. I don't just want to see the roots of the tree. I want to see what the new growth is. The new fruit. Keep growing, keep growing. That's what I want to do and what I hope to do.

We got signed after four shows. I didn't have what other bands have, which is a couple of years going through players and writing a plethora of songs to go back to. We didn't have that. We only had five or six songs and we got signed. We lied. [ Laughs ] . How many songs do you have? Oh, we have 25 songs! We were on a really good writing juggernaut at the moment, so we knew we'd have an album. I had most of the lyrics written, anyway. I feel like it's my job to continue to get better and continue to learn.

I didn't do music growing up. I don't know a lot about it. I don't play any instruments enough to compose, but I'd really like to master an instrument like piano or something like that. I play a little Persian harp, but nothing where I'd be comfortable playing in a live performance, but I'd like to. Those are the things I'd like to continue to do and I hope to continue to inspire, which I think is an artist's greatest gift. If I'm doing that—I'm provoking, motivating, inspiring, then I'm doing my job as an artist, and that's all I hope to do. Everything else is subjective and perception, and I can't control any of that.

WCT: What do you think is the overall message of the band?

OS: I guess an overall message would be depending on who we are talking to. If we are talking to people who are perhaps mainstream, then we are an ominous portent—beware of what is to come. We are uncompromising and will not be silenced. I think if you're talking to fan who adore our music, our music is about embracing and celebrating life, knowing there are going to be obstacles, and empowering yourself to overcome them. That's really every song. There are certain pop vomit, two-dimensional plankton type of music that really just talks about a broken heart or they talk about how they overcame the obstacle, while I feel it's important to identify what the obstacle is, and just in a general sense, the emotion of experiencing that obstacle so you can apply it to whatever part of your life. Then, at the end of the song there is redemption and strength—fighting through whatever it is that life encounters. You will succeed just by fighting. The win doesn't matter. It's the fight that matters. That's probably what our greater message will be.

WCT: I think a lot of fans identify with that. I mean, I'm sure a lot people have come up to you and said that songs like 'Jonestown Tea' changed their life.

OS: Yes, they have. We've heard that tons of times, and it never ceases to affect me. In a way, it just bottoms me out. It sinks me. I don't want anyone to have gone through what that song was about. The reality is people do every day and they are, right now, at this moment, while we're talking. Somewhere someone is being victimized, and it is a terrible reality. But to know that there is something out there that I've created that is helping people find or seek salvation or helping them find calm tranquility or find the fight in them to do something about it is beyond meaningful. I don't need to win a Grammy. I don't need to sell a billion records. I have the biggest award or, at least, gratification from the fact that this song has helped people. I hope it continues to do so. There are some mainstream publications, magazines and even radio that won't touch us with a 10-foot pole, and maybe not even a 50-foot pole, because they feel like we provoke too much. We spend too much time engaging the realities of life. Those are the things I've heard.

WCT: Isn't art supposed to do that?

OS: You know what? That's what I thought! But again, people would rather go see a comedy than a documentary, and that's the truth. We've experienced that, even as a culture, by denying people the ability to experience. It's what Pink Floyd called 'comfortably numb.' They were able to sustain this Novacaine mentality where nothing affects them. Let's just look on the bright side of life. Which is fine. It's unfortunate that people, because we have loud guitars and sometimes I may scream in anger or embrace certain other dynamics, on that side tend to ignore or wish to ignore what we stand for or what our music has done and what movement is brewing. It does a disservice to so many other people who could be affected. Like I said, our music isn't contained by that, but it reaches another demographic. It's still a fight. It's hard on people we work with to do their jobs. We're still going to keep making music that's important to us, despite what everyone else thinks.

WCT: Keep on fighting. There're not many people out there who don't care what people think and take a revolutionary stance.

OS: I couldn't do it any other way.

Otep will be at The Pearl Room, 19081 Old Lagrange, Mokena, on Mon., April 7. Tickets are $13; call 708-479-5356 or visit www.ticketmaster.com/venue/33051.