Openly lesbian Illinois state Rep. Deb Mell proposed to her partner, Christin Baker, the national director of arts and humanities for the YMCA, earlier this month at the Signature Room in Chicago.
"Christin, I am a better person since I have known you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she said. Bakerwho had been with Mell for five yearssaid yes.
On April 28 ( which was also Baker's birthday ) , Mell took that personal moment and showed just how political the personal can be. In Springfield, she addressed her legislative colleagues, asking them to support same-sex marriage in this state. Right now, their plan is to get married in Iowa next year; Iowa is one of only five U.S. states where it is legal for two people of the same gender to be married. Illinois does not have a marriage-equality ( or civil-unions ) law.
"I am aware that our governor and many of you on both sides of the aisle do not consider me equal to you and our relationship equal to the relationships you share with your spouse," Mell told the other legislators, according to the Chicago Tribune. "I think we are more alike than we are different."
Mell and Baker were interviewed by Carol Marin on WTTW's Chicago Tonight April 27. Mell said, "You can't legislate who you love and you can't punish people for it." Baker added, "I think it's actually the gay community that's showing the sanctity of marriage by wanting to get married. ... I would like to be married just one time, as opposed to six, seven, eight, ninelike some members of the straight community are able to do."
In an interview with Windy City Times that ran in the Sept. 30, 2009, issue, Mell was questioned about her feelings regarding the status of the proposed civil-unions bill. She responded, "My whole attitude has beenand I haven't been quiet about itis that we should just go for marriage in Illinois."
Because of the state's Defense of Marriage Act, any same-sex marriage done in another state is not recognized in Illinois.
On April 29, Windy City Times talked with Baker about the speech at the state House, Iowa and her fiancée:
Windy City Times: Walk me through what happened in Springfield April 29, when your fiancée spoke to the state House.
Christin Baker: We weren't really sure when [ Mell ] was going to call her point of personal privilege. She really felt strongly that she wanted a few reps there, such as Sara Feigenholtz and Will Burns. It was really cute: Deb didn't sleep well the night before, and we were both really nervous and excited.
So Deb called her point of personal privilege. We had worked really hard on her speech. She got up and delivered it. Then, Rep. Burns stood up and, suddenly, people started calling their own points of personal privilege.
First of all, on the House floor, it's crazy: There are people walking and talking while a bill is debated, and they have to quiet the chambers now and then. But when Deb got up, everybody quieted down and sat down; that was amazing. Then she said, "I got engaged," and everyone clapped. Then people started standing up and gave words of encouragement. The one that meant the most to me was Republican [ Mark Beaubien of Barrington Hills ] , who got all choked up. It was just amazing because he's Republican and an older guy; he and Deb got to know each other when they were in the same area. So I started getting teary-eyed. And Rep. Feigenholtz was there at our first date, and we've run into her at different events.
If you wrote a movie and this was the culminating event at the end, I don't think anyone could've written it as wonderfully as it actually happened.
WCT: When you reacted to Beaubien, was it ( in part ) because you thought, "Here's a Republican acting this way. Maybe we can [ eventually ] reach other Republicans?"
Christin Baker: I don't know if I went to the place where we can reach other Republicans. I definitely thought, "Maybe if he feels this way, maybe there is hope." It just affirmed that Deb and I are doing the right thing. Putting it out there and being visible is the right thing to do.
WCT: What do you think is the most important thing you and Deb accomplished yesterday?
Christin Baker: Oh, gosh. I think we got people talking again about marriage equality. You hadn't heard a peep about it. You had people talking about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"which I also think is very important. The last [ marriage-related ] thing we heard about was Prop 8.
I'm going to be perfectly honest: In the different articles, there were some negative comments but I'd like to think that Deb and I put a positive face on marriage equality.
WCT: Of course, you've heard the slew of arguments against same-sex marriage, including procreation, religion, etc. What do you feel is your strongest argument against the naysayers?
Christin Baker: I almost feel like I want to pat those naysayers on the head and say, "I'm so sorry that you can't see the bigger picture, but we're going to get our rights. Despite your feelings about marriage, the tide is [ turning ] , especially with the next generation coming." So I don't always feel like I need to have an argument; the next generation is going to wipe away all of this negativity.
But I liked what I said on Chicago Tonight: "If the sanctity of marriage is so important to straight people, then why do they take it with such a cavalier attitude?" Why is the divorce rate so high among straight people? The whole Vegas in-and-out, drive-through wedding should not exist is marriage is such an untouchable privilege. If Rush Limbaugh and Larry King can have three or four wives, then why can't I have one? So that would probably be my biggest argument.
WCT: So if and when a marriage-equality law is passed in Illinois, would you two get married here again?
Christin Baker: I don't know; that's a really good question. We're going to spend our money in Illinois to have the reception; our family is going to be staying in Chicago hotels and we're hiring Chicago peoplewe're just having the legal ceremony in Iowa.
If we needed to do that so that it's recognized in Illinois, I think we would. But if [ the Iowa marriage ] is recognized here, I don't think we would.
To find out Baker's other thoughtsincluding why she said "yes" to Mell's proposalsee www.windycitymediagroup.com/gay/lesbian/news/ARTICLE.php?AID=26397.