Gay and lesbian issues finally got their moment in the presidential debate spotlight Oct. 13, and the way that John Kerry handled it has given a surprisingly long life to the matter. Some have even given it the ultimate beltway status with its own word, dubbing it Marygate.
It started when moderator Bob Schieffer asked within the context of marriage 'Do you believe homosexuality is a choice?'
'I don't know. I just don't know,' answered President George Bush. He went on to urge Americans 'to treat people with tolerance and respect and dignity ... in a free society people, consenting adults can live the way they want to live. And that's to be honored.'
Bush also said, 'I think it's very important that we protect marriage as an institution between a man and a woman.' His support of a constitutional amendment to do so is based on a fear that 'activist judges' are redefining the term, not American citizens. He noted that his opponent voted against the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
Sen. Kerry began, 'We're all God's children, Bob, and I think if you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you that she's being who she was. She's being who she was born as. I think if you talk to anybody, it's not a choice.'
'I've met people who struggled with this for years, people who were in a marriage, because they were living a sort of convention, and they struggled with it. And I've met wives who are supportive of their husbands or vice versa when they finally sort of broke out and allowed themselves to live who they were, who they felt God had made them. I think we have to respect that.'
Kerry restated his belief 'that marriage is between a man and a woman' and that he favors 'partnership rights and so forth' that would allow hospital visitation and property transfer for gay couples.
He defended his vote on DOMA, not on the substance of gay marriage, which he opposes, but because 'the states have always been able to manage those laws.'
HURRICANE MARY
The substance of both candidates' remarks was not new; they had been stated many times before. The single new element was Kerry's personalizing it with a reference to 'Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian.'
Those few words became a kind of Rorschach inkblot into which people read a wide variety of meanings as the spin whirled up to hurricane force over the next several days.
First to comment was Lynne Cheney, wife of the Vice President and mother of Mary. 'Of course, I am speaking as a mom, and a pretty indignant mom. This is not a good man. What a cheap and tawdry political trick.'
Some called Mrs. Cheney's outrage selective, noting that she never defended her daughter from defamatory comments by fundamentalists, such as the one labeling her a 'selfish hedonist' by Alan Keyes, the Republican senatorial candidate in Illinois.
Elizabeth Edwards, wife of the Democratic running mate, said Lynne Cheney's response 'indicates a certain degree of shame with respect to her daughter's sexual preferences ... . It makes me really sad.'
While Kerry himself maintained that his comments were made 'constructively and respectfully,' his spokesman, Joe Lockhart, said, 'There was no goal and there was no strategy beyond, I think, complementing the Cheneys for being good parents.'
An interesting take came from 365Gay.com which alleged that 'sources close to the Bush-Cheney campaign' said the idea on how to react to Kerry's comments came from Mary herself in a telephone call between daughter and parents immediately after the debate. 'She would continue to be an 'issue' for Democrats unless something was done to stop it immediately.'
Only a handful of people would have known of that conversation. It is curious that the source leaked to such a little known organization and not to a major news outlet. It is difficult to confirm the accuracy.
Conservative columnist William Safire fumed that both Senators John Edwards and Kerry deliberately raised Mary's sexual orientation in their debates. He said, 'One purpose was to drive a wedge between the Republican running mates.'
'The sleazier purpose ... is to confuse and dismay Bush supporters who believe that same-sex marriage is wrong, to suggest that Bush is as 'soft on same sex' as Kerry is, and thereby reduce a Bush core constituency's eagerness to go to the polls.'
Others pointed to Kerry's rhetorical emphasis on swing states and suggested that he could have cited Democratic Rep. Dick Gephardt's lesbian daughter from Missouri, or Wisconsin's lesbian Rep. Tammy Baldwin. His use of Mary strengthened the case that it was a calculated reference.
Log Cabin Republicans Executive Director Patrick Guerriero told CNN that Kerry's comments were 'not wise.' But he took greater umbrage at members of his own party 'who have been outrageous themselves.'
He listed the Federal Marriage Amendment, state variations of that amendment, and mailings to voters in Arkansas and West Virginia, paid for by the Republican National Committee, alleging that the Bible would be banned and same-sex marriage allowed if Kerry was elected.
Attorney and gay activist William Rubenstein said in a column in The New York Times, 'It's hard to believe that Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards are trying to paint the Republicans as 'the gay party,' though it's worth noting that if the tables were turned—with Mr. Cheney and President Bush referring to the gay daughter of Richard Gephardt—the Democrats would cry foul.
'The best spin for the Democrats is that they're using Mary Cheney to paint their opponents as hypocrites: Republicans feign acceptance of all people, trot their own daughters out to demonstrate their fairness, then propose that the Constitution be amended to deny equal rights to same-sex couples. They want to have it both ways.
'This is a valid point—but neither Mr. Kerry nor Mr. Edwards made it ... . True, they oppose a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and support federal nondiscrimination laws and state domestic-partnership systems. Yet they are not willing to proclaim their positions too loudly,' Rubenstein said.
An ABC News tracking poll showed that 57% of likely voters agreed with Kerry that homosexuality is biological in nature and not chosen. But by 2 to 1 they thought it inappropriate for him to have inserted Cheney's daughter into the debate.
The Washington Post tracking poll said that 64% of likely voters found the comment 'inappropriate.' That included four in 10 of Kerry supporters and half of all swing voters.
As the New York Daily News concluded in an editorial, 'It was notably crummy of Kerry and Edwards to presume to use Mary Cheney as just one of their campaign props. At the same time, the outraged sputtering of Ma and Pa Cheney were plainly forced and calculated ... . Enough with Marygate. Let's get back to the real world.'
