Carrie Neff and Anastasia Maley spoke on the phone for about five months before meeting for the first time—and Maley admits, "I knew instantly that there was something about her voice and enthusiasm for life which made me want to get to know her better."
So their phone chats went to emails. And to instant messaging, before they met for the first time in May, 2004.
"She was even more dynamic in person and I was head over heels," Maley said.
The two met through mutual friends in their sorority, Delta Gamma, at Villanova University in Pennsylvania. Neff had already graduated, but was back visiting when she met Maley for the first time. She noticed Maley's crafty denim jacket, while Maley couldn't believe how short Neff was in person.
Their friendship turned into love after leading a service trip together in 2007.
"I always knew there was something different about Stasia from the first moment we talked, and more so the moment we met," Neff said. "Stasia came to visit me in Chicago a few weeks after meeting and she had a headache and fell asleep on my lap. I had always dated men [ up to that point ] and didn't recognize my feelings at first, but soon came to realize I would never love another person as deeply as I love her."
The feeling is mutual, as Neff and Maley are happily ever together.
They also are the second LGBT couple to participate in the Crate & Barrel $100,000 Ultimate Wedding Contest.
Voting continues through the end of April, and the two are in need of more votes. To support Neff and Maley, go to: http://www.tinyurl.com/liveandletlove
"We wanted to raise the visibility of LGBT couples in mainstream culture," Neff said. "We thought it was wonderful that Crate & Barrel included same-sex couples in their contest. We want to get our family and friends more interested in supporting marriage equality, to show others that we view ourselves as equally deserving of recognition in this contest, and most of all, that we consider our marriage as a marriage, just as the thousands of heterosexual couples consider as well."
Neff, 29, is from Sudbury, Mass., and now works as a human rights campaigner for Amnesty International USA. Maley, 26, from Folcroft, Penn., is a registered nurse, working in hematology/oncology/stem cell transplant at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
"When we started dating, we began doing 'letter dates,' where we went through the alphabet and each took turns planning a surprise date starting with a different letter [ of the alphabet ] . For example, A might be amusement park, B could be beach trip, C might be camping. It was a great way to get to know each other better through different experiences," Maley said.
Neff has been living in Chicago for four years, Maley for three. They were on the committee for the Human Rights Campaign Gala in November, 2009. They also attend and support local LGBT organizations, such as Hamburger Mary's Bingo Night to benefit the Center on Halsted, or Lambda Legal's Freedom to Marry Reception.
Neff ran a half marathon in Chicago in 2008 to benefit the AIDS Foundation of Chicago. Maley completed the Chicago Triathlon for Team in Training, benefiting the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, in August, 2009.
Neither is running this spring or summer … they have a wedding to plan.
"Our only hesitation in applying for the contest was, reading the fine print guidelines and rules," Maley said. "We wanted to be sure our wedding would still have all the important elements that were important to us, such as eco-décor, local/organic food and flowers, tented outdoor reception, etc."
Since applying, they said the response has been overwhelmingly favorable.
"We have yet to receive a negative comment from family, friends, or strangers," Neff said. "Many of our friends and family have posted our contest on their Facebook wall to support us and inform others to vote. We have been blown away by the amount of love and support we have been shown, especially by unusual suspects."
So what would you do if you won the contest?
"Jump up and down," they said in unison.
Neff added, "We then would get down to business planning our 'Ultimate Wedding.' We have many elements already planned, as our wedding is set for September 10.
"We would also want to publicize, as much as possible, that Crate & Barrel has chosen a same-sex couple as their contest winners and continue using this experience as an advocacy tool."
The two have run three 'donation drives' on Facebook, where they pledge to donate $1 for every vote received over a 24-hour period to charity. Their charities are the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, the Aneurysm& AVM Foundation and Dining out for AIDS.
More Carrie Neff and Anastasia Maley:
Nicknames: Neff and Stasia
Hobbies: Neff: Cleaning, organizing, music and traveling. Maley: Thrift store shopping, crafting, beach volleyball.
Favorite movie: Neff: Shawshank Redemption. Maley: Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken and Dirty Dancing.
Favorite TV show ( s ) : Neff: Glee and The Office. Maley: The L Word.
Favorite sport: Neff: NCAA basketball. Maley: horseback riding.
Favorite sports team: Neff: Villanova men's basketball and the Chicago Cubs. Maley: Philadelphia Phillies.
Favorite athlete: Neff: Hubert Davis. Maley: Cliff Lee.
Favorite alcoholic drink: Neff: Margarita on the rocks with glass salted. Maley: Corona with neck salted.
Little-known skill: Neff: Can juggle three things, sometimes four. Maley: Almost always wins every limbo contest.
I'm better than my partner at ...Neff: cleaning. Maley: being on time.
Favorite Chicago restaurant: Neff: Big Bowl. Maley: Café Ba Ba Reeba.
Favorite Chicago bar: Neff: Mystic Celt. Maley: Timothy O'Toole's.
