By ILIANA REGAN
'There's a hot lesbian that lives over there.'
'Where?'
Tommy Gomez was pointing with his middle finger cause he was missing his index. Got chopped off trying to fix his bicycle chain one day.
'No way. That girl isn't a lesbian. Lesbians only live in Hollywood where they film my dad's movies.'
'Are you stupid dude?'
'No I ain't stupid.' And Tony punched Tommy in the arm.
'I know cause my brother told me he smoked pot with her one day inside her place and she was talking about different girls and shit. And she's got tattoos and she's a derby girl he says.'
'What's a derby girl?'
'That's a girl who rides around on roller skates in a rink and knocks other girls down for points.'
'Oh. So that's what lesbians do?'
'I guess so. Besides the sexy stuff.'
'You think it's sexy what they do?'
'Yeah all guys do. Man, are you stupid or what?'
'I'm not stupid.' And Tony punches him again. 'I'm just not sure about all that they do. I mean I saw a little bit of it once when I was spying through my dad's door.'
'They do stuff with their fingers and their tongues. You know, all the stuff that guys and girls would do. But since they don't have dicks then they have to use something that looks like one.'
'How do they do that?'
'I guess it straps on or something.'
'Do you want to go ride bikes?'
'Yeah.'
They walked down the stairs and unchained their bikes from the rack out front. Cars swooshed past on Laramie Avenue and everything smelled humid and the bar a couple store fronts down was loud and cigarette smoked trailed from its open door. Then 'the Lesbian' walked out with Billy, Tommy's brother. They headed toward Tommy and Tony frozen on their bikes.
Billy smiled. 'Hey boys.'
'Hey little men.' The Lesbian said and smiled too. Her teeth were real white and she was in a pretty outfit and all her tattoos were hidden.
'Jess just finished work so we met for a drink.'
The boys didn't respond, but they both squeezed their bike breaks over and over like they were going down hill.
'Where you guys riding too?' Jess asked.
'Dunno.'
'If you go down to Jefferson, hang a right, about one mile down on the right hand side they got a big solid ditch over there. A real nice hill to go up and down. But you have to squeeze through the fence. It is sort of a secret so don't let anyone catch you.'
'Cool,' the boys said and took off in the other direction.
Billy unlocked the to their apartment complex and they both climbed up the stairs to Jess's floor.
'Is there really a ditch over there?'
'No but there is a titty bar and that should keep them busy wondering.'
Billy and Jess cracked up.
Iliana Regan is by essence a writer but in physicality she is a contributing editor for Other Voices out of UIC as well as a bartender and realtor. She plays and sleeps in Chicago along with everything else that happens in between.
