A full house of jubilant partiers, including both gay candidates in the hotly contested race for 44th Ward alderman, jammed the High Risk Gallery at 1113 W. Belmont Feb. 12 for Lambda Legal's annual Freedom To Marry program. The event, which spotlights the ongoing struggle for same-sex marriage rights, attracted a diverse potpourri of the community on a frigid Chicago evening.
Hosted by Lambda Legal Regional Director Mona Noriega and Outreach Associate RoiAnn Phillips, the event combined pleasure with serious business, celebrating GLBT relationships with a focus on Lambda Legal's ongoing efforts toward establishing precedents legitimizing same-sex unions.
In addition to dozens of local same-sex couples and straight allies, also in attendance were Saundra Heath and Alicia Toby, a lesbian couple hailing from New Jersey and one of seven pairs of long-term same-sex couples participating in Lambda Legal's suit in that state charging that the New Jersey constitution affirms the right to same-sex marriage.
For many in the audience and at the podium, the issues at stake are more about money than love. 'Our love for each other is a no-brainer,' said Saundra Heath during impassioned remarks, 'but we need the benefits. We're paying full taxes, but we're not getting our money's worth.'
Heath recounted her anger at being denied Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) protection at work when Toby required surgery and subsequent aftercare. 'They (Heath's employers) told me I was not entitled to (FMLA) because I wasn't married. I said, 'Of course I'm married! The whole office knows I'm married! You've all seen my wedding pictures (Heath and Toby had a commitment ceremony, officiated by their pastor, in 1999).' But they said I wasn't legally married, so the law didn't apply to me. I took the time off anyway, but I had no guarantee that my job would still be there for me when I returned.'
A local lesbian couple agreed that the biggest concern for unmarried same-sex partners is the lack of support for spousal obligations, such as caring for a sick partner or requiring time off after the arrival of a child. Karen Rothstein, 30, 'married' her partner Aurora Pineda, 31, in a communal religious ceremony at the 2002 LLEGO Conference in Miami, Fla. According to Pineda, 'We wanted recognition for our relationship, even if it was just religious and not legal.' Adds Rothstein, 'We want the legal benefits of a marriage. Neither of our families support our relationship, so it's very important to us to have protections under the law. If anything ever happened to me, it would be a very bad situation for Aurora.'
Rothstein concedes that same-sex partners can hire attorneys and draft certain documents protecting their interests, but 'why should we have to go to all that trouble, and spend all that money, when heterosexual couples can just get married and automatically be entitled to all that and more? It's not fair, and it's not right.'
Newly appointed, openly gay 44th Ward Ald. Tom Tunney attended the event and told WCT that affirming the right of same-sex couples to marry is 'one of the reasons I'm running for alderman. We need to break down the barriers separating GLBT couples from their heterosexual counterparts. We're the same as they are, and full benefits need to be extended to all committed couples, regardless of sexual orientation.'
Rick Ingram, also openly gay and opposing Tunney in the Feb. 25 election, joined him in voicing favor for same-sex marriage legislation. 'Why shouldn't we get some recognition?' Ingram said.
Local couples were also honored during the evening. Matt Foster and Carlos Madinya, together since 1991, understand the privilege conferred upon the legally married. According to Madinya, quoted in a Lambda Legal publication: 'When my sisters had boyfriends, yes, they were accepted, yes, they were welcomed into the home; but when they got married, things changed.'
In the same circular, Matt indicates his strong feelings in favor of legalized same-sex marriage: 'Government policy helps dictate how a society should be, what the standards are and how people should behave. I want to get to the point where people are as angry about homophobia as they were about Trent Lott's recent racist comments. We need to get at the root of all prejudice. If same-sex marriage were legal, maybe people would be more open, understanding, and accepting.'
Also quoted by Lambda are Quincy Bissic and Fernando Martinez, partnered 27 years. According to Fernando: 'Marriage is about providing structures that help support relationships.' Quincy, who is diabetic, could not obtain health insurance through Fernando's company plan when he lost his job. 'We'd marry in a heartbeat if we could,' Quincy told Lambda. '(We) never had a ceremony, never felt the need to. (We) always felt that if we had a ceremony, we'd want it to be legal.' One of his biggest concerns is what might happen in the event of a medical crisis. 'I want Fernando in complete control of what happens to me. He knows me better than anyone else.'
Same-sex marriage was roundly cheered at the event, even by those who don't know if they would ever get married. 'It should be available for those who want it,' said Roberto Tijerina, 32. 'I'm not sure I would ever choose to get married, but I feel it is a basic human right.' Tijerina, who had a commitment ceremony with his current partner, said that access to his spouse's insurance benefits, tax breaks, and other pragmatic considerations would impact his decision to legally marry.
According to Mona Noriega, same-sex marriage would equate to a dramatically improved quality of life for committed couples. 'Particularly in the lesbian community, there would be a dramatic financial impact for the better. Women in general earn less than men, and women of color even more so. It's not fair, and it's an injustice that needs to be corrected.'
