Despite decades of being hailed as a visionary transgender activist and theorist, it was not until last week that Kate Bornstein truly understood how important she is to people.
Bornstein, whose works include "My Gender Workbook" and "Hello, Cruel World," has been credited with saving thousands of lives through her trans-affirming writing and performance.
In late March, fans returned that favor, donating more than $100,000 in less than a week for Bornstein's life-saving lung cancer treatment.
The donations were a wake-up call for Bornstein, whose self-doubt nearly prevented her from reaching out for help at all.
"She was a little bit hesitant," said Laura Vogel, Bornstein's friend who launched the "Go Fund Me" fundraising appeal. "She was like, 'Well, I don't want to put that burden on you.'"
"I said to her, 'The community is there. The community will want to give back to you whatever they can and will want to support you during this time in this difficult situation you've been placed in, so let's just give them the opportunity,'" said Vogel.
In the end, Bornstein said, she chose to live.
In just six days, her appeal exceeded the $100,000 goal. It continues to grow. Seeing that support has changed Bornstein's life.
Windy City Times caught up with Bornstein to talk about her fundraising pitch, her decision to fight to live and why the happiest time in her life came in the form of a battle with cancer.
Windy City Times: How are you feeling after this week of fundraising?
Kate Bornstein: This is the happiest time of my life. There's no ifs, ands or buts. Everything has changed. My life has changed. It took me knowing I was about to die, to go, "OK, I'll stay alive." But when I decided to stay alive it was still with the knowledge that most people in the world consider me a freak of the upper magnitudes.
What this last week showed to me was that I've got a family. I've got a tribe. There are thousands of people that I can embrace who've embraced me. I spent all my life feeling I wasn't worthy, that I haven't done enough, and you know, judging myself. Then I realized how foolish I was for judging myself at all. So that's when the big happy began.
So how do I feel about it? I was embarrassed at first, felt not worthy of it. Now, I am simply grateful to my family for coming and helping me in my time of need.
WCT: Do you feel a little like you've learned the lesson that you've been giving to us for all these years?
Kate Bornstein: [Laughs] I write theory. That's what my job. Theory is another word for "this could be a big fat lie." So, when I wrote "Gender Outlaw," I had only just begun to put my toe in the water of living like one. When I wrote "Hello Cruel World," those were all alternatives I've used to keep myself from killing myself. I could have gone for another 101.
But you know what alternative got done when the crowd funding happened? It was the one that says, "Make your peace with death." I don't know that there's a lesson to be learned in "Hello, Cruel World." There's a lot of theory, there's a lot of angles, there's a lot of questions.
That was a big decision to stay alive, and I'm making it on a day-to-day basis. I'm not being foolish enough to stay, "I made the decision to stay alive, and I therefore don't have to think about it anymore." I have to think about it every moment I walk out of my house as a visible freak. The good news is I don't have to think about it much. Stay alive? Oh yeah, of course. And here I go. So that's the big difference. Did I learn my lesson? No. It just got easier to decide to stay alive.
WCT: How are you feeling physically?
Kate Bornstein: The chemo and radiation come with warning signals like all over the place. A lot has been happening to me. I don't think I can remember ever feeling this fatigued or fragile. All kind of weird things happened. I used to be allergic to wool when I was a kid. That went away when I was in high school. All of the sudden, that allergy came back with a vengeance.
So I don't feel so good. Not quite sick but really tired.
WCT: And you've been coming to Chicago for treatment, correct?
Kate Bornstein: I've been to Chicago, the Block Center for Integrative Cancer [Treatment]. I've been there twice—once for an intake and once to start my chemo. My first chemo was on my birthday, March 15. And I'll be back in Skokie on April 5.
The funds make it a hell of a lot easier to get out there and come back. We use a service called Corporate Angel. Corporations with their own private jets, if they have empty seats on flights, they offer them to cancer people for treatment. So, I've been able to take advantage of that, but we fly home on Saturdays and corporations aren't flying on Saturdays. The fund makes it easier to get a ticket without getting the three stops on the way home and the eight hour flight.
So, the relationship between how I feel and how comfortable I can make myself has shifted hugely with this fund. I can make myself comfortable, and I'm learning to do that without guilt. I haven't figured that one out quite yet, but I'm starting to.
WCT: Are you surprised by the outpouring of support?
Kate Bornstein: I'm floored. I haven't figured out the words for that one yet. I'm trying. I thought if I could raise $20,000, that would be awesome. But it just kept moving and moving and moving and moving.
And it's still moving to this day. People are still kicking funds in. The deal is cancer comes back. What this money has bought me is I'm going to be cancer free. The odds are because I'm taking this really kickass nutrient supplement… my body will be in better shape. So the cancer might not come back quite so quickly in my case. Odds are, it's going to come back. And this extra money that's coming in, we're putting it aside in an account that will just stay there for the next time.
I think what surprised me more and pleased me more was the number of people. I needed the $100,000. But I remember seeing that the largest category of donation was $5. And I thought, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I know there have been a lot of times in my life where I couldn't afford $5. People are stretching, and that stretches my heart.
Vogel noted that Bornstein's partner, Barbara Carrellas, has been at her side throughout. More on Bornstein's fundraising appeal can be found at gofundme.com/2cxb6w.
