Along with the heaving Atlantic swells, another little storm occurred when we introduced my twin, Wilhelmina Hunnenwell Winthrop ( better known as Billie ) , to our friends. When planning ( and yes, packing her very own suitcase ) it had not occurred to naive little moi that just because I've gained 30 lbs over the last year ( muscle NOT fat, thank you very much!! ) that the silly little bitch would have as well ... and when we saw the photographs ( one in particular taken from a hidjus angle in which she looks slit-eyed and toothless ) I was horrified to see that Billie has gone from being that slimmest of eternal debutantes to a Bulgarian lady shot-putter. The bloom is off the rose, Billie is as delicate as an 18-wheeler.
But this miserable truth was blessedly withheld until the following day ... in the meantime ...
We threw a cocktail party in our stateroom for her ... to meet the boys from Zim, and Renée and Patricia ( a charming Canadian who flattered Billie greatly by wondering if her scarlet dress with the silver lining was one of Renée's designs ) . Tommy and friends took to Billie and she to them and they insisted she join them at dinner in the Caronia. We had already had Marcus take the temperature in Britannia and apparently Mr. Lucas ( the maitre d'hotel of Britannia ) did not think it would go over well with his other customers. So on Matthew's decorous arm, our rubenesque heroine swept into the Caronia restaurant wearing a tiny little mink bolero and generous smile. According to Simone, who had had Billie's dress pressed beautifully, and spoke with a friend of hers the following day who waits tables in Caronia, several old blue hairs dropped their teeth in their soup when this statuesque red head in crimson twirled in on 4.5-inch heeled, strappy, silver-sequined, open-toed sandals and stood by the railing serenely surveying the second-class dining room.
We don't know if this was a first ... but judging from what everyone said ... Billie shook them up and stirred where little had been done before. She even found her way down to The Pig since the girls from the Steiner Salon were keen to see the finished work after the lovely manicure they'd provided, and when a security guard approached and said "crew or passenger?" Billie retorted: "Stowaway!" ( Lest you wonder, some crew members are notorious for showing up in The Pig in full drag ... so we love the fact that Billie confused a Cunarder! ) And as she was being escorted from The Pig she was touched to hear booes of dismay from her fans in the crew. She turned and waved and blew them kisses before heading back to the Yacht Club. Here she got a little lit ( all right, a lot lit ) and danced the night away, with dear Tommy and a variety of male admirers and new female friends, despite the gale at sea which necessitated the removal of her silver stilettos since dancing in stockinged feet ( so naughty ) was a titch more practical as QE2 was buffeted by the waves ...
Actually the security man, one must add, was doing his job. Later that night, during this, the second storm we hit, a crewmember was tossed down a flight of stairs and broke his back. This necessitated a helicopter evacuation the following night so that he could be flown to proper care in Boston. Naturally this horrid event somewhat dampened the mood on the last night. A collection was taken up for him.
Other than this, especially considering that Matthew and I appear to be ideal travelling companions ( we had a couple of moments of "I don't really like the way you said that!" and that was it ) , the crossing was above and beyond every joy and expectation. I've been ruined as far as presents are concerned, but content to have it this way. It must rank as the most generous and fabulous of presents I have received.
Every minute of every day and every night was pure delight and utterly sublime. Matthew and I are massively depressed and wrecked to be home, and having to deal with mundane reality. The only mitigating factor is the cruise we booked on QE2 for September, booked before we were even done with our crossing. This cruise is called by the o so twee name of PINK SANDS & COTTAGES, and goes from New York City to Bermuda to Newport back to New York City—care to join us?
