Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor



GURRRLology: Butch/Stud Lovers?
by Vicky Nabors

This article shared 4700 times since Sun Feb 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

In a recent conversation, a femme wanted to know why two studs couldn't engage in an intimate relationship: Well, they can. However, with few exceptions, butch/stud-only relationships are non-existent in our community. But, out-dated taboos that forbid butch/stud dating can no longer be held responsible for how butch/studs really choose their lovers today (Black sistahs are strong willed and make their own choices). It's more a matter of balance based on male-influenced standards and attractions.

Balance is important in partnerships and can be better understood though the Chinese philosophy of Yin Yang. Here we look at opposing energies, which create balance. The Yin represents indirect energy and the Yang represents direct energy. Since we've always heard that opposites attract, this philosophy must hold some merit, especially since we can easily see this balance in butch/stud and femme relationships; two opposing forces, one male oriented and one female oriented that create a unified whole. Lesbians who tend to play close to the middle: undefined sistahs and sistahs who flip-flop between femme and soft butch are not included in this analysis, that's another article.

In definition, there are several types of Black femme behaviors: ultra to aggressive, while the masculine side of Black lesbian culture only has two general behaviors: Traditional hard butch/stud and New Age butch/stud, it's defined by the depth of her thought process. Traditional hard butch/studs think and live from male perspectives almost 99% of the time (including sexist and chauvinistic attitudes), while New Age butch/studs work to blend their masculine and feminine thoughts creating unique personalities and ways of living (less sexism but still chauvinistic). All true butch/studs (born that way) are naturally chauvinistic because they're influenced, from birth, by social standards of masculine behaviors. This is the foundation by which butch/studs grow to understand themselves and the world surrounding them. Her chauvinistic or male-centered attitudes also influence how she chooses a partner, femme over butch/stud. Of course any female's shapely naked body will get her attention, even if it's another stud, but that's not enough to attract her, it's not just about sex. Butch/studs mirror heterosexual male behaviors in what truly attracts them to wimyn for sex or relationships: soft demeanor, delicate mannerisms, nurturing, sweet smells, soft skin, sexy, sassy tongue, etc.

Most, butch/stud lesbians make partnership choices out of preference and not fear of breaking some outdated code of conduct. The taboo is a historical code of conduct that was useful during a difficult era. Today, however, the taboo is reduced to an urban legend.

'After I hung pictures in her new apartment and winterized her windows, she (a femme) thanked me with a sandwich and beer. 'Now that's peace,' I thought, while watching her smiling face thoroughly inspect my work, and I (a stud) equally gleamed while enjoying the thank-you prepared by her delicate hands.' The balance between butch/studs and femmes has a rich history in Black lesbian culture, sensuous opposing energies—Yin and Yang. .

This article shared 4700 times since Sun Feb 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.

Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.








About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.