THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

This writer doesn't know the actual number of strap users in our community (smile), however this topic is something that has been the center of many recent stud/femme conversations. So, let's venture into 'the mystery of the strap' and try to understand why some lesbians love it, while others hate it. Of course there are those who are totally oblivious to it, but that's another column.

A little dick dork once said to me, 'Your jealous because you don't have what I have.' I blew him off because he was feeding into a dumb stereotype of butch lesbian behaviors. Men, and some wimyn, approach this issue from an incorrect male-centered perspective. They believe that lesbians use fake male anatomy (dildos) because they want to emulate male behaviors. But they're wrong. There's no argument that the shape of the female anatomy is made to fit with the shape of the male anatomy. In theory, the shape of the penis, especially the head, is designed to fill the vaginal canal and stroke the womyn's sensitive G-spot. As we all know, it's this stroking motion that brings her to an orgasm. So, the dildo has to be penile shaped in order to be effective; a square-shaped dildo or even a triangle-shaped dildo just won't cut it. Therefore, using a penis-shaped dildo basically becomes a choice out of having no choice, and has nothing to do with the lesbian wanting a man's dick!

Next, we have the essence of lesbian passion and all the emotions it encompasses. Like all wimyn, a lesbian's genitalia will, at some point during the sex act, demand some type of instant relief, preferably stimulation of her G-spot. A skilled lover will provide her partner with relief by using her talented fingers or turn to the strap. I interviewed several femmes on the issue and they agreed that, 'There's nothing more sensuous than a womyn wearing a strap.' They all swear that it's the ultimate turn-on because it's eroticism at it finest. All the senses become alert, for both parties, emotions ignite and the games begin. Now, I'm not going to describe the pleasures that the user of the strap gets, aside from emotional stimulation; you'll just have to use your imagination to understand how suction works, 'hehehe.'

Whether it's a butch/stud and femme paring or an aggressive femme and femme pairing, the wearer of the strap has the power, well … most of the time—'clearing throat.' Many of us find the master/slave game quite erotic because it's that relinquishing of power to the person who is providing your body with ultimate pleasure. A strap, at this point, becomes an interesting tool in this type of sex play for those who dare.

As for those sistahs who hate or don't understand the strap, it becomes an issue of not being into penetration or never experiencing it at all. These haters (smile) come in all flavors, stud/femme/bi. And then, there is still that third category of female nay-sayers who can't seem to step away from their male-centered views, on the issue, in order to understand the usefulness of the all mighty strap. Of course this topic is one of those things that isn't discussed openly in the true lesbian community because the the strap is clearly personal.

My bois and I had a ball discussing this topic the other night. A point that stood out in our conversation was the fact that some femmes are pissed that we won't let them use our straps on us. Oh well ladies, it's a stud thang, you just don't understand studs and that's all I have to say.

'Pimping off into the sunset like a turkey—gobble gobble gurls!'

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