The Friend Movement hosted You've Got a Friend, A Bullying Prevention Panel Discussion at the Center on Halsted Oct. 4.
Participants were Richard Pryor Jr., actor and activist; Melba Rodriguez, vice president of institution advancement at Northeastern Illinois University; Joe Serio, psychologist; Andrew Kroma, student; Chris Hill, teacher; and Julius DC Bautista, artist.
They spoke to about 25 people about the effects of bullying on students and the role that friends can play in hastening suicides among young people. Colleen Tomanek, licensed clinical social worker and tenured faculty counselor/instructor in the Center for Multicultural Learning at Harper College, served as the evening's moderator.
The discussion took place ahead of Friend Movement ( a national anti-bullying grassroots initiative ) co-founders and Chicago-area natives Elliot London and Ronnie Kroell's 37-day, 943-mile multi-state walk in memory of the late Rutgers student Tyler Clementi. The next morning, Oct. 5, London and Kroell kicked-off their walk to raise awareness for increased bullying prevention efforts across the country. ( October is National Bullying Prevention Month. ) They left from Millennium Park and the walk is expected to end Nov. 10 in New York City.
The group is selling watches to raise funds for their walk. Kroell spoke about being a better friend to ourselves and others. London, who grew up near Rockford, said he was bullied for being gay.
Pryor, the son of comic Richard Pryor, said he has been bullied as a Black, gay celebrity on a number of occasions and he also has attempted suicide twice.
Rodriguez said she is a Latina lesbian Episcopalian and has had to overcome bullying as well. "I die every time I hear that a young person has hurt or killed themselves," she said.
Serio noted that he grew up in the Chicago suburbs and went to Catholic grade school and high school. As a defense mechanism, Serio said he kept his head down in order to avoid being bullied. He said that prevention is the key to end bullying.
Kroma, who is 20 years old, explained that he came out as transgender two years ago and has been bullied on numerous occasions.
Hill shared that he grew up just outside of Springfield, Ill. and is a Chicago Public School art teacher on the South Side. He said he was lucky to have an amazing family and friends; however, he was still bullied in school and did alcohol and drugs to numb the pain.
Bautista explained that he is an artist and through his art therapy project he hopes to put an end to bullying. He noted that he was bullied as a child and it upsets him that he finds himself repeating that negative behavior and bullying others as an adult.
Tomanek asked the panel to share how they would define bullying and whether they had been bullied. Pryor said he went to a predominately white school and kids bullied him almost daily by calling him Kunta Kinte, the n-word and jungle bunny. Coming to terms with his sexuality was difficult for Pryor and he noted that he couldn't tell his family, church or teachers because of the stigma in his community.
"Bullying is anything that makes people feel less than they should," said Serio. In high school speech class Serio explained that a classmate created a product for an assignment called "Gay Away," and the teacher gave the student an "F" and told him that the product was unacceptable. Serio said this was a rare instance where he witnessed an adult standing up to anti-gay harassment.
Rodriguez said that bullying occurs at all ages. She said she ran for student government president in her college as an openly lesbian candidate. She put flyers up and someone had written "dyke" on the posters but they misspelled it as "dike." Instead of giving in, Rodriguez said she stood up to the bully and kept the posters up and ended up running the student government by the time she was a senior.
Bautista said that sometimes LGBT people bully other LGBT people and they should know better.
As for the negative effects of bullying, Kroma said he has self-hatred and has been hospitalized many times for depression and anxiety. Kroma noted he has also attempted suicide.
Serio talked about his husband getting bullied in recent weeks. His husband is an elementary school teacher in the suburbs and an advocate for Pride Youth. His husband found a note on his car that said homosexuals have no business teaching kids and that he should resign. The school and police are treating this as a felony hate crime.
Other questions included cyberbullying, why people who are bullied suffer in silence, if you were bullied how did it make you stronger, how allies can help recognize the warning signs of bullying, why students and adults allow their peers to be bullied and the importance of friendship.
A send-off benefit party/meet and greet took place at Hamburger Mary's following the panel discussion.
See www.friendmovement.com for more information.
Video by Tracy Baim. Ronnie Kroell and Elliot London Friend Movement Chicago kickoff 1, www.youtube.com/watch .
