The challenges facing LGBT youth were among the issues highlighted at Equality Illinois' LGBT Equality Summit on March 20-21. Jane Clementi, who continues mourning the loss of her 18-year-old son, Tyler, stressed the need to combat bullying.
Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge in 2010 after his roommate broadcast an encounter with his boyfriend online. But, there's more to Tyler's story than how and why he died, Clementi stressed.
"I want them to know that he was definitely much more than the headlines," she said.
Clementi and Tyler's brother, James, spoke on behalf of the Tyler Clementi Foundation at the summit.
"Tyler made a decision we can never change or undo," she said.
James, who is also gay, reflected on working to prevent other families from losing someone they loved. While "it's certainly not a position I wanted to be in," he took the responsibility to help youth realize they aren't alone.
"It feels like a call," James said.
Speaking of a call, James has been working with accepting churches. He acknowledge they can be some of the most hostile places for LGBT people.
"It's really devastating ... the effect," James said.
Bullying, Jane said, is a power struggle. It's about taking power from others by tearing them down. She said a lot of bystanders are watching what's happening and say nothing. That includes in Tyler's case.
"We need to reach out to others," Jane said.
That outreach shouldn't solely focused on youth, according to James.
"It's really important to not only to reach out to youth," he said. "Reaching parents is a big piece we miss."
James praised the work of the Family Acceptance Project, which does research on issues facing LGBTQ youth. The Annie E. Casey Foundation and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation are funding the project.
Jane lifted up proposed federal legislation aimed at curbing bullying in college. U.S. Rep. Patty Murray ( D-Wash. ) and Mark Pocan ( D-Wis. ) reintroduced the Tyler Clementi Higher Education Anti-Harassment Act about two weeks ago, after it failed to get traction in the 113th Congress. U.S. Sen. Tammy Baldwin is a co-sponsor. Baldwin was a co-sponsor of the original bill.
New Jersey, Jane noted, has an anti-bullying law in place. Gov. Chris Christie signed the law in Jan. 2011.
"It was a little too late for us," she added.
Legislation, Jane said, is a "great baseline." But, something more needs to be done.
"I think we need to change hearts and minds," she said.
Tyler's death has made people aware of LGBT bullying and abuse. James said open communication is important.
"[Let] the young people in your life feel safe that you're safe to talk to," he said.
Local response to youth issues
State Rep. Kelly Cassidy urged attendees to begin focusing on new issues, as marriage equality has been established in Illinois.
Cassidy said that is especially important in the face of Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner's proposed state budget cuts, which critics say have disproportionately targeted human services and unions, among others. Given their support of marriage equality, she said the LGBT community should rally around them.
"We need to be in state human services budget hearings," Cassidy said. "Continue the push for our issue, but be there for those who were there for us."
She not only called on the LGBT community to support allies in need, but to refocus on an LGBT community that includes marginalized people.
"There is the perception [that the] LGBT community fits a particular image," Cassidy said. "We do fight some narrow images of who we are."
But, she said people cannot just focus on a white, middle-class agenda. Attendee Minoshka Llontop Lozano seconded her sentiments, publicly challenging Equality Illinois.
Llontop Lozano said she wanted to see people of color on the panel. Intersectionality, she said, was never mentioned. However, she said a lot of time was devoted to "white heteronormativity."
