Ditching technology and the email that goes with it, men reach for pen and paper to write letters to their pen pals behind prison bars.
Brothers Behind Bars is a letter-writing campaign run though RFD (Radical Faerie Digest) magazine, a national quarterly publication geared toward gay, bisexual and transgender men,
Dating back to 1974, RFD is a reader-written journal, focused on country living and alternative lifestyles. The magazine aims to promote community-building and networking, among other things.
Myrlin is the editor for Brothers Behind Bars. He reads every single piece of mail.
Since 2002, he has been receiving letters from inmates requesting pen pals. With his database of about 1,600 prisons, he makes a list of all prisoners who would like to have correspondence and distributes the list to subscribers who request it.
The majority of the men writing in to participate are inmates rather than men outside prison, which makes Myrlin wonder if the gay community cares about inmates and inmate issues.
"It's mushroomed under my watch because I respond to everybody, and I try to do a good job," said Myrlin. "A lot of times I feel some people, they'll say to me, 'We know you can't guarantee us any results, but at least you give us hope that we might be able to find someone to write to and become friends with.'"
Myrlin also assembles the Prison Pages column featured in RFD magazine. The column is an outlet for inmates to communicate and share talents as they are able to send in material such as advertisements for pen pals, poems, short stories and artwork.
"I've known a lot of people who've been friends of mine who have gone to prison for various reasons, and when I got started in this, it was more that I was looking for friends," said Myrlin. "So, I was writing to people in RFD magazine when it used to be published in there, and I found some amazing pen friends who were inmates who helped me through some really tough times in my own life, when I needed someone to talk to."
Over the years, Myrlin has corresponded with many inmates, and with the number growing, he said it is sometimes difficult to juggle.
In 2004, Myrlin chose to write to a trans inmate named Trixi, who lived in a prison in California. The two became friends and over the years, a romantic relationship grew. The two now live in Tennessee together.
Gay inmates, Myrlin said, have no one with whom they can share their feelings, an emotionally straining experience. The letters provide a way for inmates to let out thoughts they would otherwise have to keep to themselves.
"It can be the world of difference if they survive in prison or not," said Myrlin. "You have no friends in prison. Trixi, my partner, says you don't trust anyone. You can't even trust the people who are closest to you in prison; you have to guard everything you do. Where with a pen friend, that you open up and trust, you can pour your heart out and not feel rejection. We all need that."
Andrew Deppe, a Chicago resident, has corresponded with his two current pen pals with two letters a month to each since 2007. He has even made a few trips to visit his pen pals at their respective prisons. One of his pen pals identifies as gay, and the other as bisexual. Deppe said having the LGBTQ male connection was largely why he was interested in Brothers Behind Bars.
"That's a big part of why they picked me, or why I picked them to write to," said Deppe. "It's more isolating in prison. It's better than it used to be in terms of how the guards are trained and how the other prisoners interact with you, but it's certainly in the dark ages in terms of trans issues. I think for gay men it's still harder in prison because you're sort of a target or sexually more vulnerable as well."
Deppe came across a handful of descriptions of possible pen pals and picked randomly.
His pen pal relationships make him feel like part of somebody else's growth process. Writing is never repetitive, as each inmate has something different to say, whether it be different complaints, different things he is doing, or different things he reads.
"I feel kind of honored these people are willing to be so candid and honest and trusting of me," said Deppe. "I think they feel the same way. So, it's a mutuality of trust and affection and gratitude for the whole thing. It's rare. We live in a pretty hostile, angry world, and certainly they do inside the prison system in Illinois. There's just a lot of negative energy from the prison guards and other prisoners and so forth. There are sparks of light and nice little occasionally positive relationships. Just to share a little bit of love and positive energy and faith is a good thing for them and for me."
Photographs, Deppe said, are something his pen pals enjoy receiving, so he sends pictures of him and his partner, vacations, the lakefront in the summer and other subjects.
Aside from being targets as LGBT people, inmates have conveyed other concerns to Deppe. Access to job preparation or vocational programs for job opportunities once they are released is a significant worry.
"People are being punished, so when they get out they're not prepared," said Deppe. "They've never seen a computer, or they don't know how to look for a job, and then they end up back in the same social situation that got them in the prison in the first place, whether it's gangs, or drugs, or screwed-up families."
For Deppe, being a source of trust for his pen pals is a privilege.
"The ability to extend myself and focus on making somebody else's life just a little bit better, sending them a book about Buddha, going to visit for an afternoon, or whatever, totally changes their whole perspective and their attitude and everything because their life is so bleak otherwise," he said. "It's not that much skin off my nose. I have a very privileged life … . Why not share a little bit of it? The messages I get in the mail are so full of appreciation and kindness and thoughtful energy, and it's so worth it."
For additional information on Brothers Behind Bars, visit rfdmag.org . To receive the pen pal list, write to P.O. Box 68, Liberty, TN 37095.
Also please see Letter to a prisoner here: www.windycitymediagroup.com/lgbt/Letter-to-a-prisoner/42904.html .
