Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

Dateland
by Jennifer Parello
2004-06-09

This article shared 2021 times since Wed Jun 9, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


My friend Stacy and I were quietly sipping cocktails on my patio last night when she suggested that we play a game.

"Anything but Scrabble," I whined. I consider Scrabble to be a form of ritualistic torture. I always get stuck with a long string of letters from the nether region of the alphabet—the severe letters that fall between "T" and "Z" and seem to have no other purpose than to make French words impossible to pronounce. The game leaves me feeling stupid and humiliated. As a result, Stacy drags out the Scrabble board every chance she can get.

"No, it's a new game," she said. "It's called What Makes Me Destroy Every Relationship I've Ever Been In. The rules are simple. We each have to say why we find it impossible to maintain a healthy relationship. The most self-destructive person wins."

"Well, that doesn't sound like a very fun game," I said. "I've got a better idea. Let's play What Celebrity Would I Have a Reasonable Chance of Sleeping With. I'll go first. Susan Sarandon! Catherine Deneuve! Isabella Rossellini!"

"I'm sick of that game," Stacy sniffed. "You always pick Susan Sarandon before I can. And what makes you think that any woman with a foreign accent would want anything to do with you and your provincial ways?"

"OK, then let's play Who Would I Invite To My Fantasy Dinner Party. I'll go first," I said. "Hmmm, let's see. Jesus Christ, of course. Susan Sarandon. Catherine Deneuve. Isabella Rossellini…"

"No, let's play Which Of Us Is In More Desperate Need of Therapy. I'll go first," Stacy said, furrowing her brow and pretending to think really hard. "Ummmm, I guess I'd have to say the answer is you. Yes, you are in more desperate need of therapy than I am."

"Yeah, but only because every woman I'm attracted to shares an uncomfortable number of similarities with my mother," I said.

"I've begged you to get help for that," Stacy said, putting her hand on mine and staring up at me with a soulful look that I was supposed to interpret as friendly concern.

"Here's a good game," I said in retaliation. "Who Among Us Slept With Her Women's Studies Professor (Who Happened to Smell Like An Uncooked Chicken and Had A Bad Habit of Spitting When She Spoke) And Still Managed To Get Only A C-Minus In The Class?"

Stacy pushed up the sleeves of her shirt and fixed her dark eyes on me. "How about this old favorite: Which Person Sitting On This Patio Tricked A Married Woman Into Going To Bed With Her By Telling Her That Sex With Another Woman Would Clear Her Chronically Infected Sinuses?"

We sat back in our chairs and glared at each other.

"So," Stacy said, finally breaking the stalemate. "Do you want to play Scrabble?"

"Sure," I said. "But I get to use a dictionary."


This article shared 2021 times since Wed Jun 9, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

'Andersonville Homecoming' Sept. 24-26; line-up, vendors, safety protocols announced 2021-09-15
--From a press release - CHICAGO (Sept. 15, 2021) — The Andersonville Chamber of Commerce (ACC) is pleased to announce the full entertainment line-up and vendors for Andersonville Homecoming--a three-night, two-day outdoor festival featuring ...


Gay News

Next OUTspoken show Sept. 7 2021-08-24
- An OUTspoken Storytelling Night taking place Tuesday, Sept. 7, will offer tales told by six people who will relate their stories of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective. The entertainment will start at 7 p.m. ...


Gay News

Taste of River North cancelled 2021-07-29
- On July 29, the River North Residents Association, along with theMART and Duff Entertainment, announced the cancellation of the 2021 edition of Taste of River North. The event was slated to take place Aug. 20-21 at ...


Gay News

OUTspoken storytelling to host six takes from LGBTQ+ perspective 2021-07-26
--From a press release - The month of August is hot - but OUTspoken at the Sidetrack will be even hotter on Aug. 3 when six storytellers will tell tales of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective! The program will start at 7:00 pm at ...


Gay News

LGBTQIA+ tavern to open in Uptown this fall 2021-07-14
- 2Bears Tavern Group—which owns and operates Andersonville's The SoFo Tap and Meeting House Tavern as well as Rogers Park's Jackhammer—is opening 2Bears Tavern Uptown in the former Nick's on Wilson space at 1140 W. Wilson Ave. ...


Gay News

Pride Parade coordinator provides latest on the 'likely scenario' for event 2021-05-08
- Tim Frye, the coordinator of the 2021 Pride Parade, told Windy City Times that the assessment of this year's event has not changed over the last few weeks. The official statement/assessment at this point is: "We ...


Gay News

OUTspoken Storytelling to host tales from LGBTQ perspectives Nov. 10 2020-11-01
--From a press release - Another exciting OUTspoken Storytelling Night will offer the perspective of four Chicagoans telling life's stories from their LGBTQ+ viewpoint or that of their close friends and relatives, Tuesday, Nov. 10, starting at 7 p.m. on Zoom. ...


Gay News

Arts in the Dark Halloween Parade, this year a drive-through 2020-10-26
--From a Chicago Park District press release - CHICAGO: LUMA8, in collaboration with the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE), the Chicago Park District and Presenting Sponsor, the Blommer Chocolate Company, is pleased to announce Arts in the Dark - an UPSIDE ...


Gay News

Nightlines 1990-2001, Nightspots 2001-2015 2020-09-30
- Throughout the 1990s, Nightlines focused on the LGBTQ entertainment scene, from the bars to the stage and everything in between. With the new millennium came a significant format change as Nightspots focused in on the bar ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Former Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster dies at 37 2020-09-27
- Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster died Sept. 17 unexpectedly at the age of 37. At the time of this article's publication, Sangster's cause of death is unknown. Sangster was born June 4, 1983, on a Jacksonville, North ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Gay business owner/nightlife figure Bob Yeaworth dies 2020-09-20
- Gay business owner and promoter Robert "Bob" Yeaworth died Sept. 14 from complications due to his ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig's disease) diagnosis. He was 64. Yeaworth was born Sept. 17, 1955 in Cincinnati, Ohio, ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Medusa's owner Dave Shelton passes away 2020-08-19
- Dave Shelton, a.k.a. Dave "Medusa" Shelton—so named for his trademark frizzy locks— "just was different," recalled his good friend of 45 years, Richard Cooke. Shelton was the proprietor of the iconic nightspot Medusa's on Sheffield in ...


Gay News

Gerber/Hart fall benefit Sept. 12-13 2020-08-08
- The Gerber/Hart Library and Archives fall benefit—"Saving LGBTQ History: Archives in a Time of Activism"—will take place Sept. 12-13 at the venue, 6500 N. Clark St. On those days, there will be a series of 90-minute ...


Gay News

Holocaust Museum's virtual soiree Sept. 2 2020-08-06
- On Wed., Sept. 2, Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center's Women's Leadership Committee will host its annual soirée virtually. The event will stream live from a studio with a star-studded line-up featuring a musical performance by ...


Gay News

Virtual OPALGA+ scholarship gala slated for Oct. 24 2020-08-06
- OPALGA+/Oak Park Area Lesbian & Gay Association will hold a virtual scholarship gala Saturday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. The event will feature video clips from the organization's scholarship winners, the Founder's Award celebration and opportunities ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.