If Lifetime is looking for story ideas for movies, there are five good ones in Meema Spadola's Our House: Kids of Gay and Lesbian Parents. Aside from originally giving it an even more unwieldy subtitle ( A Very Real Documentary about Kids of Gay/Lesbian Parents ) , the filmmaker has done everything right in showing five diverse families, their common thread being that the children have lesbian or gay parents.
Even for the kids who are cool with their situation, having queer parents adds another level of difficulty to the already tough task of growing up. But most are coping well—or manage to fake it for Spadola's camera—as it captures moments from their lives, at home and away, filling in more details through interviews.
On Long Island, Rob and Jon have adopted five children. The four- and five-year-olds are only glimpsed, but nine-year-old Jessica is totally supportive of her Papa ( Rob ) and Dad ( Jon ) . Not surprisingly Daniel, 13, is somewhat less thrilled about the situation but seems to be dealing with it.
The most unpleasant story comes from rural Arkansas, where 15-year-old Ryan has been receiving home schooling for two years. She was so excited when her moms, Vickie and Sophia, had a marriage ceremony, she told everyone at school and became an outcast. The last straw came when she was strangled half to death outside the school while a teacher watched and did nothing. Her older brother Cary, who grew up without a father, is glad to have Sophia to go fishing with.
In Arizona, Danna ( 14 ) and Ember ( 16 ) have a mother and a father, but they don't live together. Dwight tried to be a good Mormon and an 'ex-gay' but finally came out, and Jan divorced him. They're all still on good terms with each other but Ember has quit the church over its attitude toward her father.
In New Jersey, 'Aunt Pat' has moved in with Rochelle and her three children. Their father, Butch, is openly homophobic but doesn't appear to be as nasty about it as he might be. Pat has two grown children who live away but are part of their family. Twice a month the women take the children to church in a predominantly queer congregation.
Finally, two New York City women, Sandy and Robin, live with the two teenage girls they had by artificial insemination. Eight years earlier one of their sperm donors sued for custody, but the women won the four-year legal battle. The older girl, Cade, has herself come out as a lesbian, the only gay-identified child in the film.
Some of these families have been through therapy, legal battles and various forms of discrimination; but what didn't kill them has made them stronger. The common denominator in these households is love, and Spadola makes a strong case for that being what matters in defining a family.
Our House was originally broadcast in 2000. The updates promised for the DVD have not been previewed but should be of interest. Other extras include interviews with the filmmaker and participant Ry Russo-Young.
