Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

Can Opposites Co-Exist?
by Vicky Nabors
2006-03-01

This article shared 3103 times since Wed Mar 1, 2006
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Can opposites really enjoy a healthy and happy relationship? The answer certainly lies within each individual, but there are some other important variables to consider. I've noticed that when I have something in common with a person, it makes it easier to work through difficulties when we clash over our differences. Differences are presented, in relationships, in a variety of ways; some are quite hidden. However, I've worked successfully to identify and work past some of the more common ones, such as levels of multi-tasking comforts and ability; introvert vs. extrovert behaviors; liberal ( open-minded ) vs. conservative ( traditional ) thinking; and secure vs. insecure mindsets.

Many individuals believe that they must have everything in common with a person to have a good relationship. This is true to some degree, because similarity can enhance a person's life, whereas differences can make them miserable as hell. I'm a witness! So, although it's good to share some commonality with that special person, it's also nice when she brings something uniquely different to the table; after all, we're humans—who will get bored at some point. So, I can appreciate a partner who is somewhat opposite in her likes, dislikes and behaviors, as long as they lie within my comfort zones.

This brings me to my next point. In order to have a successful relationship composed of opposites, each party must clearly understand 'who' he or she is and 'who' his or her intended partner is. When you have this knowledge, you can better access whether you can handle the differences that exists—sometimes they're too bizarre. It begins with you. Knowing four simple parts of how you honestly operate can help you chose a partner you'll be able to deal with. Then, you should seek to identify the same four parts of your intended partner. Having this information can help you access the reality of entering into a successful relationship with a person who is your opposite.

Take me, for example; I'm a serious multi-tasker who loves doing several things at the same time. I'm equally introverted and extroverted. When bored, I set out to socialize in various ways to fill my inquisitive mind. When I've had enough, I revert to my private world to process all that I've taken in—and become introverted. I believe in change, privacy and living according to one's rules ( as long as they're not hurting themselves or others ) . Therefore, I'm very liberal-minded. However, I also believe that certain rules/laws ( not many, though ) are necessary as they help keep people in line—which makes me a bit conservative as well. So, I'd say I'm 80 percent liberal and 20 percent conservative. Finally, I've always been very secure, thanks to parents who loved and guided me. For me, insecure individuals make choices to protect or hide their 'truths' at the cost of others, i.e., lying, harming, damaging and stealing ( merchandise, other people's companions, etc. ) .

Knowing these parts of myself, I'd never enter into a relationship with a person who doesn't like to multi-task to some degree—we'd drive each other crazy. Equally, a completely introverted individual wouldn't be a good fit because she'd bore me or I'd drive her crazy. And, a person who's totally conservative would make me want to 'cut her' because conservative individuals tend to be severely judgmental. The fourth category is one that I've learned about through trial-and-error in dysfunctional relationships: insecure individuals. Unfortunately, these sistahs had been mistreated in some way prior to my meeting them, but it wasn't my fault, nor my problem!

So, it's my belief that opposites can successfully co-exist as long as they have some similarities. When none exist, they only have their opposite corners to stand in when all hell breaks loose. Similarities provide a comfortable place from which to approach various situations. What do you think?

E-mail at vickynabors@hotmail.com .


This article shared 3103 times since Wed Mar 1, 2006
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

SAVOR At Willies 'n Waffles, sexuality is on the menu 2024-02-12
- Having written about Chicago's culinary scene for at least 15 years, this writer has covered all sorts of spots—from Michelin-starred upscale establishments to those so-called "holes in the wall" that can serve some of the best ...


Gay News

Reeling premieres a queer coming of age story told through a Southern Gothic lens 2023-09-21
- Ganymede, a Southern Gothic horror film that explores a teenager's experiences as he discovers his sexuality, will premieres Sept. 23 as part of the 41st Reeling Film Festival. The film, according to Chicago filmmakers Colby Holt ...


Gay News

Wayne Brady comes out as pansexual 2023-08-08
- Actor/singer/game-show host Wayne Brady has opened up about his sexuality, according to a Deadline item that cited People Magazine. "I am pansexual," Brady told People. "Bisexual—with an open mind." The entertainer said he had been researching ...


Gay News

Florida bans teaching of sexuality, gender identity in K-12 public schools 2023-04-19
- The Florida Board of Education has forbidden the teaching of gender identity and sexuality throughout all grades in K-12 public schools. In doing so, it is extending a nearly year-old legislative ban on such lessons from ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Mayor's honor, sexuality oath, Big Freedia, TikTok COO, AIDS Quilt 2023-02-11
- Openly gay San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria recently became the latest recipient of the Latino Leaders Network's Antonio Villaraigosa Leadership Award during the organization's Tribute to Mayors, the Los Angeles Blade reported. The biannual event, held ...


Gay News

BOOKS Kemi Adeyemi on 'Feels Right: Black Queer Women and the Politics of Partying in Chicago' 2022-09-12
- Author and University of Washington Gender, Women and Sexuality Studies Assistant Professor Kemi Adeyemi is out with a new book, Feels Right: Black Queer Women and the Politics of Partying in Chicago. The book, set to ...


Gay News

BOOKS Inside Sinkhole, a darkly comic coming-of-age fiction 2022-08-06
- Davida G. Breier's debut book, Sinkhole, takes readers on a trip to rural Florida in the 1980s. Amidst golf courses, mobile homes and alligators, some things on the agenda: friendship, identity, sexuality, grief and murder. Breier ...


Gay News

Actor/model David Pevsner challenges age and body stereotypes in recent book 2022-05-24
- When writing his recent book—Damn Shame: Desire, Defiance and Show Tunes—actor/model/filmmaker David Pevsner noticed three themes coming to the fore: body shame, sexuality and ageism. "All three of those are ...


Gay News

Mary Lynn Rajskub: Actress/comedian discusses acting, sexuality in new book 2022-04-10
- Emmy-winning actresses and stand-up comedians who just finished publishing their new memoirs, while simultaneously embarking on their stand-up tours, rarely have moments to themselves. Thankfully, Mary Lynn Rajskub, best known for her work on the TV ...


Gay News

VIEWS Queer kids are under attack and we must speak out 2022-03-16
- LGBTQ+ kids are under attack. Last week, legislation was passed in Florida that restricts elementary school teachers from addressing gender and sexuality in the classroom. But cisgender and heterosexual identities ...


Gay News

Queer players of color explore gender, sexuality through role-playing games at NU 2021-12-08
- All of the characters Akbar creates have a similar background: They are intensely asexual, visibly South Asian and around Akbar's age. Sometimes the characters dress like Akbar, too. Akbar uses these characters for Tabletop Club, a ...


Gay News

VIEWS Reporting on queers of color needs to investigate absence as much as presence 2021-11-19
- Earlier this month, I pitched a Windy City Times article that sought to explore how role playing games (RPGs), such as Dungeons & Dragons, enable queer people of color (QPOC) to explore their gender and sexuality ...


Gay News

LGBT History Project: Tee A. Corinne: Photographer of lesbian sexuality 2021-10-19
By Victoria A. Brownworth - Over her decades as a lesbian photographer and artist, Tee Corinne said, "I'm one of the most obscure famous artists." Famous? Yes. Obscure? Certainly not within artistic circles nor within the queer art world where she ...


Gay News

About Face Theatre's 27th season to be produced at The Den Theatre beginning March 2021-07-29
--From a press release - CHICAGO (July 27, 2021) — About Face Theatre is excited to announce its return to live, in-person theatre with its 27th season. Dedicated to telling queer stories that advance dialogue about gender and sexuality, AFT will ...


Gay News

Pastor Donnie McClurkin's struggle with sexuality mirrors the Black church's 2021-04-13
- The most significant factor that keeps the Black church on the down low are closeted, homophobic ministers. Pastor Donnie McClurkin—a three-time Gospel Grammy winner and the former poster boy for ...


 


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.