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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2022-05-16


"Why is that so gross? We kiss each other where we pee."—Sarah Silverman responds to The View co-hosts' disgust that she shares a toothbrush with her boyfriend. Even more priceless is Sara Haines' reaction, which you can see on BillyMasters.com. P.S. I still wanna go out on a date with Sara's gay brother … should he be reading.

Last week, many of the television networks revealed which shows would be renewed or canceled, and which new ones they've ordered. The bloodbath at The CW was not unexpected—the trades gleefully reported that Dynasty had ratings of roughly 0.0. Since The CW is for sale, it had to stop the bleeding somewhere—and, frankly, I don't know anyone else who was watching. Likewise, the Charmed reboot is history. Over at CBS, B Positive got the axe, which is unfortunate for the talented oldsters.

I was surprised that ABC passed on its most promising pilot. The LA Law reboot centered on Blair Underwood and Corbin Bernsen, with cameos from a few other alums, and a cast of what one insider described as "the most unmemorable group of actors ever assembled." While it could be retooled, it's unlikely. Like the aborted NYPD Blue reboot a few years back, this one is probably history.

The Tony nominations came out. People claim there were lots of surprises, but I don't see any based on the reports I got. One must congratulate the revival of Take Me Out, which snagged three "Actor in a Featured Role" nominations for Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Michael Oberholtzer and Jesse Williams (more on him later).

We also congratulate the fabulous Patti LuPone for earning her eighth Tony nomination for Company. Of course, La LuPone made news this week for a different reason. After a performance of Company, there was a talkback event in which the cast takes questions from the audience. Patti spied a lady in the second row who was wearing a mask (per the Broadway mandate), but had it below her nose (against the mandate). At first, Patti nicely asked the woman to please adjust her mask. The woman refused, at which point people in the theater started filming. That's when LuPone laid into her: "Put your mask over your nose. … That is the rule. If you don't want to follow the rule, get the fuck out...Who do you think you are?" The woman responded, "I pay your salary!"—which is somewhat accurate. The audience buys tickets, the money goes to the producer and the producer pays the bills. Nonetheless, Patti wasn't having it. "Bullshit! [Producer] Chris Harper pays my salary!" Life goes on...

Meanwhile at The Music Man, Hugh Jackman, Sutton Foster and Jayne Houdyshell are enjoying their Tony noms. And the show has won another plaudit—it brought in $2,071,806 for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS during the traditional six-week spring red bucket fundraiser (when cast members accept donations from the exiting audience). This is the largest amount raised by a single show EVER! Jackman was responsible for the bulk of those funds by promising to do a variety of things to deep-pocketed patrons.

I'm curious if Jackman will make an appearance at "Broadway Bares." The long-running fundraiser takes place during Pride Month and brings cast members from all of the Broadway shows together for a fantastic burlesque show to raise oodles of dollars for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. The brainchild of my dear Jerry Mitchell, it began in 1992 and has raised a total more than $21 million to date. During the pandemic, the show continued as a virtual event and the past two years brought in about $1 million—and we are proud to say "Billy Masters LIVE" was one of their partners. "We've been waiting to celebrate our 30th anniversary in person for two years, and we're going all out. Whether it's been three years or 10 years since you last saw 'Bares', our 30th edition will be a show for the ages," said Mitchell. This year's show is subtitled "XXX" and will take place Sunday, June 26, at the Hammerstein Ballroom at 9:30 p.m. and midnight (which is always the more risqué show). You can get tix at BroadwayCares.org.

I know what you're waiting for. So, without further ado, our "Ask Billy" question comes from Aaron in Dallas: "Do you have the video of Jesse Williams' nude scene in Take Me Out? It's been taken down from the Twitter links, but I'm sure you have it."

Aaron was one of dozens of fans who wrote in within moments of the footage being leaked. Why, it's almost reminiscent of the kerfuffle I caused with Steven Weber's nude Hair footage—except Weber was fully hard, while Williams is simply a semi. It seems to me the filmer was sitting in the first row, aimed his camera or phone upward, and hoped for the best. And, boy, he got it. While there are arguments about disseminating such footage openly, I don't see why it shouldn't be available to members of BillyMasters.com.

When Jesse is fluffed and big enough to be folded, it's definitely time to end yet another column. When I was considering which Broadway shows to see, the producers of Take Me Out actually turned me down. One famous fella quipped, "Of course they don't want you there—they knew you'd somehow get footage." Someone beat me to it—the mantle has been passed. That means I can concentrate on Article Link Here site where anything goes (which can be seen on PBS this week). If you have a question, send it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com , and I promise to get back to you before Chris Harper pays MY salary (except I can't be bought—just ask Jeff Probst). Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.]


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