Hillary is coming! Hillary is coming! And Bill is not responsible for it. Personally, I'm ready for her! It's about time! It's about two hundred years late, but it's time we finally had a woman President. I truly believe she can do it. I want to prove that women can band together and vote one of their own in. Men, you've had your chance! Now it's time for Hillary to bring about some much needed changes to the Presidency. So Strap This On:
The Top Ten Things Hillary Could Do for This Country
10 ) Unity. Vibrators will be passed out at the Inaugural Ball—batteries sold separately. Who needs a Monica Lewinsky scandal when you have a guaranteed orgasm with your favorite sex toy?
9 ) Democracy. A woman and an African-American man possibly competing for the Democratic nomination would be a first! Now let's get one of them get elected!
8 ) Education. I just want to see the faces of all the men of all the most sexist nations when they have to kiss Hillary's behind in order to get the funding they've been so used to.
7 ) Fairness. Viagra is currently reimbursable under most health plans. Under Hillary, birth control pills and K-Y jelly will be as well.
6 ) Equality. Househusbands will be seen in a positive light. Mind you, Bill actually being found at his home may be a rare thing.
5 ) Humor. All the talk shows will have a field day with Hillary. Bill has been out of office for six long years, and he's still talked about frequently.
4 ) Fashion. Every gay and lesbian designer out there will be falling over themselves to help her out. Queer Eye for Madame President could help fund healthcare.
3 ) Employment. Housewives could get a tax credit. I think choosing to stay home and raise your children should be applauded. Maybe she'll even find a way to keep our jobs here in this country and let the village continue.
2 ) Future. Save the cheerleader, save the world could be a reality considering young girls could actually believe in growing up and being the leader of the free world... of course, until China takes over.
1 ) Sex. Regardless of what women have said, I say she is a good example of a woman. Her husband cheated on her, she stayed, supposedly forgave him, and will now use him to win the Presidency. Who's using who? Go Hillary!
I can be reached at StrapThisOn@aol.com