There are several books out there about the top things you need to do before you die; things like visiting the Taj Mahal, parachuting out of an airplane, running with the bulls, etc. Now these all sound great. Blah, blah, blah. Let's be realistic. Most people don't have the money or the vacation time or the extended limit on their credit cards for this. These are my more realistic things I would like to do before I die. So Strap This On:
My Top Ten Things I'd Like to Do Before I Die
10 ) Go to a dance club/strip club for women only with $500 in singles. Oh, who am I kidding? Let's make it an even $1000!
9 ) See a woman elected as president. And by woman, I mean Susan Sarandon. Though I'd settle for Hillary.
8 ) Swim naked in the ocean. OK. Technically, according to my show girlfriend, it's the Gulf of Mexico. But hey, I'm a Yankee. Looks like the ocean to me. And did you just drop your suit? It's too hot for clothes.
7 ) Play opposite my partner on stage. And not just in any show, but one where we really get to make out.
6 ) One on one with Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet, Bernadette Peters and Nicole Kidman. Not all at once, though, because every woman deserves my undivided attention.
5 ) Swim the English Channel. Of course, I'd like naked women on the boat egging me on. Lean over a little more, honey, to hand me my water.
4 ) Go on an all expense paid week in wine country with my favorite friends, a chauffeur, and personal chef. This could also work in Europe. I could easily drink my way through several countries.
3 ) Spend 72 hours in bed with Robin and have all of our food delivered and served to us by Consuela ( or the Mac girl for those of you who don't realize what I've named her ) .
2 ) A theatre week in NYC where we get to go to a different show each night, along with a different restaurant, accompanied by our own personal female wine expert, Rachael Ray, and, of course, several of our dearest friends. Oh yes, and a female driver who's only wearing the chauffeur hat and a white bow tie. Keep the window down please.
1 ) A month at the nude beach with all the seafood we can eat, all the wine we can drink and a supermodels-who-eat convention in town. Hey, these are my fantasies.
I can be reached at StrapThisOn@aol.com
