Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-03-16
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2006-10-11

This article shared 1761 times since Wed Oct 11, 2006
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Florida might be the 'sunshine state,' but the actions of now-former congressman Mark A. Foley ( R-Fla ) are squarely on the dark side.

One-Half Plus One-Half Equals Zero

In what is half irony and half hypocrisy, Foley was chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. Also, he introduced a bill in 2002 to outlaw websites featuring sexually suggestive images of preteen children.

Now If Freaky Foley Would Waltz On Outta Here

Freaky Foley greeted the 16-year-old page in one IM with 'how my favorite young stud doing,'and shortly thereafter suggested that the boy one third his age needed a massage after the child said he was sore from waltzing.

Molestin' Mark Doesn't Have A Leg To Stand On

The pedophile politico also said in the IM that he'd love to watch the kid's 'great legs' running during lacrosse practice. He then proceeded to tell the teenager to 'don't ruin' his 'mental image' of the kid's 'great legs' when the underage boy said of his legs 'they arent [ sic ] great.' The middle-aged mess also said the potential victim of inappropriate sexual conduct would be 'way hot' after his week of lacrosse conditioning.

I'm Sure The Sick MF Will Appreciate The Clarification

Any implication in the preceding item to the contrary notwithstanding, there have been no allegations ( yet ) that the now-disgraced former congressman actually molested anybody. Nor have there been any charges he inappropriately touched, fondled, had sex with, masturbated, kissed, rubbed himself against, or had any other sexual contact with any of the underage congressional pages to whom he admittedly sent sexually explicit e-mails or with whom he exchanged sexually explicit instant messages. The aforementioned item, and indeed the entire column in which it appears, was and is intended as constitutionally protected satire of a public figure who was engaged in sexually inappropriate written communication with underage teenage boys. There have been absolutely no allegations ( yet ) that he went beyond discussing masturbation techniques with teenage boys to actually masturbating them. Yet. At the time this was written that is. Please note that the 'yet' in this disclaimer is subject to change at any time without notice.

He's Got The Whole World In His Hands

Speaking of masturbation techniques, the creepy congressman asked the kid 'did any girl give you a haand [ sick… I mean 'sic' ] job this weekend.' He also asked if the high school-aged child was getting 'horny,' and then asked 'did you spank it this weekend yourself?'. When the kid said he had not because he had 'been too tired and too busy,' the future felon from Florida replied 'i am never to busy haha… or tired…'

Mark The Masturbation Master

Mr. Wonderful then went on to ask the child exactly how the kid would masturbate himself. When he told the future ( or current, for all we know ) NAMBLA member that he would lay face down on the bed and hump the mattress, Foley commented 'very nice… cute butt bouncing in the air.'

And This Is All From Just One IM!

Other lovely comments made by Foley to the jail bait-aged child: 'is your little guy limp...or growing … so you got a stiff one now … i like steamroom … what you wearing … … um so a big buldge … … love to slip them [ the child's shorts ] off of you… and [ grab ] the one eyed snake … get a ruler and measure it for me … ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm … beautiful … that's a great size … still stiff … take it out …'

Thank You For Calling The Congressional Page Sex Abuse Hotline. What You Wearing?

Congress is setting up a telephone hotline so pages can report if they have been victims of improper conduct, which will be a good thing as long as they make sure Mr. Foley doesn't volunteer to lend a hand ( or a haand job ) .

Oh, That's Right, It's The Foul Mr. Foley Who's The Real Victim Here

Since the scandal broke Mr. Feely... I mean 'Foley' has let word come out that he was the supposed victim of sexual abuse by a priest when he was young, was under the influence of alcohol when he had the inappropriate internet interactions, and that he's now in rehab.

…John Mark Carr

I have just three words for right-wing nut jobs like Family Research Council President Tony Perkins who want to use the Foley case to make a link being homosexuality and pedophilia...

As long as you are not Mark Foley, you can ask me 'what you wearing' at PretzelLogicDave@aol.com


This article shared 1761 times since Wed Oct 11, 2006
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Pride Journey: Iceland 2022-03-21
- The only way to describe Iceland is ... magical. It truly is. Iceland is like no other place I've visited in the world. It's topography, climate, people, culture, history, and nightlife blended together make Iceland a ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Jeffrey Wayne ("Jef") Morgan 2022-01-11
- Jeffrey Wayne "Jef" Morgan, of Chicago's West Rogers Park neighborhood, passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack while shoveling snow on Jan. 2. He was 58. Jef was the well-loved manager at Little Jim's on ...


Gay News

'Andersonville Homecoming' Sept. 24-26; line-up, vendors, safety protocols announced 2021-09-15
--From a press release - CHICAGO (Sept. 15, 2021) The Andersonville Chamber of Commerce (ACC) is pleased to announce the full entertainment line-up and vendors for Andersonville Homecoming--a three-night, two-day outdoor festival featuring ...


Gay News

Next OUTspoken show Sept. 7 2021-08-24
- An OUTspoken Storytelling Night taking place Tuesday, Sept. 7, will offer tales told by six people who will relate their stories of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective. The entertainment will start at 7 p.m. ...


Gay News

Taste of River North cancelled 2021-07-29
- On July 29, the River North Residents Association, along with theMART and Duff Entertainment, announced the cancellation of the 2021 edition of Taste of River North. The event was slated to take place Aug. 20-21 at ...


Gay News

OUTspoken storytelling to host six takes from LGBTQ+ perspective 2021-07-26
--From a press release - The month of August is hot - but OUTspoken at the Sidetrack will be even hotter on Aug. 3 when six storytellers will tell tales of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective! The program will start at 7:00 pm at ...


Gay News

LGBTQIA+ tavern to open in Uptown this fall 2021-07-14
- 2Bears Tavern Group—which owns and operates Andersonville's The SoFo Tap and Meeting House Tavern as well as Rogers Park's Jackhammer—is opening 2Bears Tavern Uptown in the former Nick's on Wilson space at 1140 W. Wilson Ave. ...


Gay News

Pride Parade coordinator provides latest on the 'likely scenario' for event 2021-05-08
- Tim Frye, the coordinator of the 2021 Pride Parade, told Windy City Times that the assessment of this year's event has not changed over the last few weeks. The official statement/assessment at this point is: "We ...


Gay News

OUTspoken Storytelling to host tales from LGBTQ perspectives Nov. 10 2020-11-01
--From a press release - Another exciting OUTspoken Storytelling Night will offer the perspective of four Chicagoans telling life's stories from their LGBTQ+ viewpoint or that of their close friends and relatives, Tuesday, Nov. 10, starting at 7 p.m. on Zoom. ...


Gay News

Arts in the Dark Halloween Parade, this year a drive-through 2020-10-26
--From a Chicago Park District press release - CHICAGO: LUMA8, in collaboration with the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE), the Chicago Park District and Presenting Sponsor, the Blommer Chocolate Company, is pleased to announce Arts in the Dark - an UPSIDE ...


Gay News

Nightlines 1990-2001, Nightspots 2001-2015 2020-09-30
- Throughout the 1990s, Nightlines focused on the LGBTQ entertainment scene, from the bars to the stage and everything in between. With the new millennium came a significant format change as Nightspots focused in on the bar ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Former Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster dies at 37 2020-09-27
- Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster died Sept. 17 unexpectedly at the age of 37. At the time of this article's publication, Sangster's cause of death is unknown. Sangster was born June 4, 1983, on a Jacksonville, North ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Gay business owner/nightlife figure Bob Yeaworth dies 2020-09-20
- Gay business owner and promoter Robert "Bob" Yeaworth died Sept. 14 from complications due to his ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig's disease) diagnosis. He was 64. Yeaworth was born Sept. 17, 1955 in Cincinnati, Ohio, ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Medusa's owner Dave Shelton passes away 2020-08-19
- Dave Shelton, a.k.a. Dave "Medusa" Shelton—so named for his trademark frizzy locks— "just was different," recalled his good friend of 45 years, Richard Cooke. Shelton was the proprietor of the iconic nightspot Medusa's on Sheffield in ...


Gay News

Gerber/Hart fall benefit Sept. 12-13 2020-08-08
- The Gerber/Hart Library and Archives fall benefit—"Saving LGBTQ History: Archives in a Time of Activism"—will take place Sept. 12-13 at the venue, 6500 N. Clark St. On those days, there will be a series of 90-minute ...


 



Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.