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Windy City Times 2023-12-13



pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz

This article shared 3065 times since Wed Aug 23, 2006
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It's time for the gay rodeo in Chicago this weekend, so for a real change of pace I decided to write about cowboy and western related stuff, which I just never, ever mention on this page.

It's Nice To Know That There's Cowboy Crap Out There That Even I wouldn't Buy

If you do a search on eBay with the terms 'Clint cowboy gay' ( no quotation marks ) you will not get all male spaghetti westerns staring Mr. Eastwood, but you probably will get a link to Clint, the gay cowboy merman Christmas ornament—yes, he's half Village Person and half fish—but I'm not sure if it's the bad mustache that makes him gay or the fact that the half of him that is fish tail is covered in glitter.

Diamonds Used To Be A Girl's Best Friend

Good ol' Clint is made by a company called December Diamonds.

Hello Sailor

December Diamonds also makes a glittery sailor merman Christmas ornament as well. That mother really looks gay.

Maybe Ty Should Have Changed His Name To George Michael

Cute country singer Ty England used the name Tyler England for a while in order to avoid being confused with Ty Herndon. Ty Herndon is another cute country singer. So why did one cute country music Ty not want to be confused with the other cute country music Ty? Because Ty ( that's Mr. Herndon, not Mr. England ) was arrested in Gateway Park, supposedly a well-known gay cruising area in Fort Worth, Texas, in a sex-sting operation, where, according to police, Ty ( Mr. England, not Mr. Herndon... no, wait, I got confused, it's Mr. Eng… Mr. Herndon, that's right, Mr. Herndon, and not Mr. England ) had his dick out and asked a male undercover officer what he was into.

Fit To Be Tyed

There is no word if the town of Tyler, Texas plans on changing its name to Ty, Texas in order to not be confused with Mr. England.

He's A Cowboy Chameleon

There is a web site out there for a guy known as Cowboy George.

OK, Yet Another Reason To Stay Away From Beaver

The town of Beaver, Oklahoma claims to be the Cow Chip Throwing Capital of the World, and they hold the World Championship Cow Chip Throw every April.

Maybe Clint The Gay Cowboy Merman Lives There Now

The capitol building in Austin, Texas is made from pink granite.

Is There A Dr In The House?

Dr Pepper was invented in Waco, Texas in 1885, and there is no period after the 'r' of the 'Dr' in 'Dr Pepper.'

Not To Be Confused With Petroleum Jelly... Ever!

Jalapeño pepper jelly originated in Lake Jackson, Texas.

Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

John Wayne starred in a film titled 'Ride Him, Cowboy' which was released in 1932.

What A Difference A Slight Change Of Spelling And Punctuation Could Have Made

'A Cowboy's Fairytale,' a Canadian movie released in 2002, would have been far more interesting if it had been called 'A Cowboy Fairy's Tail.'

Three's Company

There are at least three different gay porn movies with the title Bareback Mountain.

One's A Crowd

One of those three movies has no cowboy content in it at all. And damn that just pisses me off to no end when that happens.

If you know of some cowboy crap that's actually tackier than Clint the gay cowboy merman, e-mail me at and tell me about it.

If you actually have a glittery cowboy merman ornament you are dying to send to me, please feel free to contact me at

This article shared 3065 times since Wed Aug 23, 2006
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