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  NIGHTSPOTS

pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2006-05-24

This article shared 2205 times since Wed May 24, 2006
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Anonymous sex, leathermen, closeted right-wingers, leather kilts, grease and slippery secretions. Either it's just another day in the gay community, or possibly time for a Pretzel Logic look at IML week.

Anonymous Sex By Any Other Name - Part One

Being gay means never having to say your real first name.

Anonymous Sex By Any Other Name - Part Two

Having sex with some guy in the back of a bar, a public washroom, or a forest preserve doesn't count as a first date unless he gives you his ( real ) first name sometime during or after the 'festivities.'

There's No Time To Leave Like The Present

If you don't know what a guy means if he says he's into 'scat,' you'll probably just want to take a clue from that word and get outta there as quickly as you can.

Fore

Before 1850 golf balls were made of leather and stuffed with feathers. Since 1950 there have been plenty of gay guys dressed up in leather but wearing feather boas on the inside.

Lovely

You know you're gay when you buy a leather loveseat and feel compelled to explain to everyone that you don't mean a sling.

Let Your Fingers Do The Roamin'

If you go to www.brims.co.uk/romans/facts.html to find out what Roman soldiers wore under their leather kilts, you have to click on the crotch of the drawing of the Roman soldier to find out.

Baby You're A Star

The leather star is a starfish with a body that feels like wet leather.

Why Am I Not Surprised?

The surface of the leather star is covered with a slippery secretion.

You Are What You Eat

When the leather star eats, it swallows everything whole.

Size Queen

The leather star grows up to 10 inches long.

Shoot That Load

Male and female leather stars do not have sexual intercourse. Instead, the gametes are discharged into the water to be fertilized out in the open.

Stella!

La stella di cuoio si dice spesso per sentire l'odore di come aglio o zolfo, spiegantele un nome comune per, 'la stella dell'aglio.'

And At Least Three Times That To Cover All Those Guys Who Show Up Each Year For IML

It takes about 3,000 cows to supply enough leather for a year's production of American footballs to be used by the NFL?

No Wonder So Many Guys Are Sweet On It

Sugar is used in tanning leather.

Low-Cal Leather

You know you're gay when you ask for your leather to be tanned with Sweet'N Low.

Remember The Maine

Maine is one of America's largest producers of leather products, most of which are exported to San Francisco during Gay Pride Week.

Holy Shit

Quote from waynebesen.com: 'It is ironic, but most Americans see outrageous pictures of leather events only through the right wing media.'

Undercover Lover

The same web site notes that Peter LaBarbera, of the homophobic Illinois Family Institute, has attended IML and other gay leather events either to protest or conduct undercover 'research' about such events, but oddly enough he has never been seen at any heterosexual leather/SM events, and that he supposedly owns a huge collection of gay porn ( 'research' ) and all sorts of leather paraphernalia to wear when he's going 'undercover.'

Ho usato un Web site per tradurre prego le parti di questa colonna da inglese ad italiano, in modo da se notaste qualunque errori, il E-mail loro a me a pretzellogicdave@sbcglobal.net

Se siete Peter LaBarbera, viene un periodo in cui 'la ricerca' si transforma in 'in ricreazione.'


This article shared 2205 times since Wed May 24, 2006
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