Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor



pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz

This article shared 2261 times since Wed May 24, 2006
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Anonymous sex, leathermen, closeted right-wingers, leather kilts, grease and slippery secretions. Either it's just another day in the gay community, or possibly time for a Pretzel Logic look at IML week.

Anonymous Sex By Any Other Name - Part One

Being gay means never having to say your real first name.

Anonymous Sex By Any Other Name - Part Two

Having sex with some guy in the back of a bar, a public washroom, or a forest preserve doesn't count as a first date unless he gives you his ( real ) first name sometime during or after the 'festivities.'

There's No Time To Leave Like The Present

If you don't know what a guy means if he says he's into 'scat,' you'll probably just want to take a clue from that word and get outta there as quickly as you can.


Before 1850 golf balls were made of leather and stuffed with feathers. Since 1950 there have been plenty of gay guys dressed up in leather but wearing feather boas on the inside.


You know you're gay when you buy a leather loveseat and feel compelled to explain to everyone that you don't mean a sling.

Let Your Fingers Do The Roamin'

If you go to to find out what Roman soldiers wore under their leather kilts, you have to click on the crotch of the drawing of the Roman soldier to find out.

Baby You're A Star

The leather star is a starfish with a body that feels like wet leather.

Why Am I Not Surprised?

The surface of the leather star is covered with a slippery secretion.

You Are What You Eat

When the leather star eats, it swallows everything whole.

Size Queen

The leather star grows up to 10 inches long.

Shoot That Load

Male and female leather stars do not have sexual intercourse. Instead, the gametes are discharged into the water to be fertilized out in the open.


La stella di cuoio si dice spesso per sentire l'odore di come aglio o zolfo, spiegantele un nome comune per, 'la stella dell'aglio.'

And At Least Three Times That To Cover All Those Guys Who Show Up Each Year For IML

It takes about 3,000 cows to supply enough leather for a year's production of American footballs to be used by the NFL?

No Wonder So Many Guys Are Sweet On It

Sugar is used in tanning leather.

Low-Cal Leather

You know you're gay when you ask for your leather to be tanned with Sweet'N Low.

Remember The Maine

Maine is one of America's largest producers of leather products, most of which are exported to San Francisco during Gay Pride Week.

Holy Shit

Quote from 'It is ironic, but most Americans see outrageous pictures of leather events only through the right wing media.'

Undercover Lover

The same web site notes that Peter LaBarbera, of the homophobic Illinois Family Institute, has attended IML and other gay leather events either to protest or conduct undercover 'research' about such events, but oddly enough he has never been seen at any heterosexual leather/SM events, and that he supposedly owns a huge collection of gay porn ( 'research' ) and all sorts of leather paraphernalia to wear when he's going 'undercover.'

Ho usato un Web site per tradurre prego le parti di questa colonna da inglese ad italiano, in modo da se notaste qualunque errori, il E-mail loro a me a

Se siete Peter LaBarbera, viene un periodo in cui 'la ricerca' si transforma in 'in ricreazione.'

This article shared 2261 times since Wed May 24, 2006
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Gay News

'Andersonville Homecoming' Sept. 24-26; line-up, vendors, safety protocols announced 2021-09-15
--From a press release - CHICAGO (Sept. 15, 2021) — The Andersonville Chamber of Commerce (ACC) is pleased to announce the full entertainment line-up and vendors for Andersonville Homecoming--a three-night, two-day outdoor festival featuring ...

Gay News

Next OUTspoken show Sept. 7 2021-08-24
- An OUTspoken Storytelling Night taking place Tuesday, Sept. 7, will offer tales told by six people who will relate their stories of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective. The entertainment will start at 7 p.m. ...

Gay News

Taste of River North cancelled 2021-07-29
- On July 29, the River North Residents Association, along with theMART and Duff Entertainment, announced the cancellation of the 2021 edition of Taste of River North. The event was slated to take place Aug. 20-21 at ...

Gay News

OUTspoken storytelling to host six takes from LGBTQ+ perspective 2021-07-26
--From a press release - The month of August is hot - but OUTspoken at the Sidetrack will be even hotter on Aug. 3 when six storytellers will tell tales of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective! The program will start at 7:00 pm at ...

Gay News

LGBTQIA+ tavern to open in Uptown this fall 2021-07-14
- 2Bears Tavern Group—which owns and operates Andersonville's The SoFo Tap and Meeting House Tavern as well as Rogers Park's Jackhammer—is opening 2Bears Tavern Uptown in the former Nick's on Wilson space at 1140 W. Wilson Ave. ...

Gay News

Pride Parade coordinator provides latest on the 'likely scenario' for event 2021-05-08
- Tim Frye, the coordinator of the 2021 Pride Parade, told Windy City Times that the assessment of this year's event has not changed over the last few weeks. The official statement/assessment at this point is: "We ...

Gay News

OUTspoken Storytelling to host tales from LGBTQ perspectives Nov. 10 2020-11-01
--From a press release - Another exciting OUTspoken Storytelling Night will offer the perspective of four Chicagoans telling life's stories from their LGBTQ+ viewpoint or that of their close friends and relatives, Tuesday, Nov. 10, starting at 7 p.m. on Zoom. ...

Gay News

Arts in the Dark Halloween Parade, this year a drive-through 2020-10-26
--From a Chicago Park District press release - CHICAGO: LUMA8, in collaboration with the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE), the Chicago Park District and Presenting Sponsor, the Blommer Chocolate Company, is pleased to announce Arts in the Dark - an UPSIDE ...

Gay News

Nightlines 1990-2001, Nightspots 2001-2015 2020-09-30
- Throughout the 1990s, Nightlines focused on the LGBTQ entertainment scene, from the bars to the stage and everything in between. With the new millennium came a significant format change as Nightspots focused in on the bar ...

Gay News

PASSAGES Former Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster dies at 37 2020-09-27
- Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster died Sept. 17 unexpectedly at the age of 37. At the time of this article's publication, Sangster's cause of death is unknown. Sangster was born June 4, 1983, on a Jacksonville, North ...

Gay News

PASSAGES Gay business owner/nightlife figure Bob Yeaworth dies 2020-09-20
- Gay business owner and promoter Robert "Bob" Yeaworth died Sept. 14 from complications due to his ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig's disease) diagnosis. He was 64. Yeaworth was born Sept. 17, 1955 in Cincinnati, Ohio, ...

Gay News

PASSAGES Medusa's owner Dave Shelton passes away 2020-08-19
- Dave Shelton, a.k.a. Dave "Medusa" Shelton—so named for his trademark frizzy locks— "just was different," recalled his good friend of 45 years, Richard Cooke. Shelton was the proprietor of the iconic nightspot Medusa's on Sheffield in ...

Gay News

Gerber/Hart fall benefit Sept. 12-13 2020-08-08
- The Gerber/Hart Library and Archives fall benefit—"Saving LGBTQ History: Archives in a Time of Activism"—will take place Sept. 12-13 at the venue, 6500 N. Clark St. On those days, there will be a series of 90-minute ...

Gay News

Holocaust Museum's virtual soiree Sept. 2 2020-08-06
- On Wed., Sept. 2, Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center's Women's Leadership Committee will host its annual soirée virtually. The event will stream live from a studio with a star-studded line-up featuring a musical performance by ...

Gay News

Virtual OPALGA+ scholarship gala slated for Oct. 24 2020-08-06
- OPALGA+/Oak Park Area Lesbian & Gay Association will hold a virtual scholarship gala Saturday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. The event will feature video clips from the organization's scholarship winners, the Founder's Award celebration and opportunities ...


Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.






About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.