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  NIGHTSPOTS

pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2005-12-07

This article shared 1439 times since Wed Dec 7, 2005
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guess I am just in a pissy mood, because here's a Pretzel Logic look at things that start with a 'pee'.

It Was A Yellow Letter Day When They Caught Him

Postal workers in Akron, Ohio, who thought their break room coffee was tasting kind of strange, used a hidden video camera to catch a co-worker who was dumping urine into the coffee pot.

It Might Be Time To Switch To Tea

In Skokie, another hidden video camera caught another worker ( but not a postal one at least ) who was later convicted of putting urine and toxic chemicals such as lead acetate, a solvent, into the break room coffee pot. He was sentenced to three years in jail, but the news story did not say if his ex co-workers get to cook his meals while he's locked up.

So What Were The Crybabies Complaining About?

According to several web sites I visited, it appears that 'fresh urine is cleaner than spit or even the skin on your face, healthy urine is not home to bacteria.'

An Hour Later You Want To Throw Up Again

A restaurant owner in northeastern China was recently fined, and his profits confiscated, after authorities investigated him for selling illegal tiger meat. It was discovered that he was actually selling donkey meat marinated in tiger urine.

A Battery That Keeps On Going, And Going, And Going...

Scientists in Singapore have developed a battery made out of a chemically treated filter paper, and which is to be used in medical diagnostic kits, that is activated by the presence of urine, and which can produce 1.5 volts of electricity.

Wheelchair Access?

Authorities in Australia are building a public toilet 390 feet below the snow-covered peak of Mount Kosciuszko ( elevation of 7,310 feet ) , which will be built to withstand 93 mph winds, will be carved 20 feet into the mountain, a septic tank that can go six months without being cleaned, and it will also have 'three urinals and three unisex stalls - one with wheelchair access.'

Valuable Trivia To Know In Case You Run Out Of Glow Sticks

Cat urine will glow under a black light.

Does This Mean Female Cats Who Are Into The 'Nip Are All Dykes?

According to another web site, 'Catnip can affect lions and tigers as well as house cats. It excites them because it contains a chemical that resembles an excretion of the dominant female's urine.'

More Fun Than A Urinal Full Of Monkeys

Howler monkeys, who live in the rain forests of South America, like to hang out in the treetops where younger, greener leaves are abundant, but you will know you are close to them when the 'fine spray of urine rains down on your head.'

Go For The Gold

Urine will turn bright yellow if you eat too much asparagus.

For When You Get A Blow Out

Recent spam e-mail subject line: 'Buyer beware - Penis patches!'

But It Still Beats Most Internet Methods Of Penis Enlargement

In one of the more disturbing things I've ever read on the Internet, 'If a candiru, a tiny, parasitic catfish from Brazil, tastes a urine stream in the water, they will follow it back to the human. The fish then swims up the urethra and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is said to be very painful and they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish.'

If you know whether or not candiru are especially fond of asparagus, you can e-mail me at PretzelLogicDave@aol.com, but please do not send any photos.


This article shared 1439 times since Wed Dec 7, 2005
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