Expect the unexpected now when five planets retrograde. Uranus, Neptune, Jupiter, Pluto and Mercury stir up the cosmos to create a tornado of wilde change. Will it all hinge on a word? I can think of a few choice ones!
ARIES ( MARCH 21 - APRIL 20 ) Even though you are fairly content with your home environment, think things could be better. Consider any grand scale change carefully before you act. Proud Rams are missing a key ( but secret ) ingredient. Chill for now. Heat up tomorrow.
TAURUS ( APRIL 21 - MAY 21 ) Queer Bulls mouth off at any opportunity. This can get you into trouble. Things are not what they appear. You may make a romantic move on some unsuspecting office mate. Oops! Before HR gets involved, rein in your tongue ... among other things.
GEMINI ( MAY 22 - JUNE 21 ) Retro planets loosen your wallet and shake it empty. Money will also be a factor in your career. Will you be offered a raise? More likely it will involve pouring your dough into a new 'guaranteed' venture. Err better check the contract's fine print.
CANCER ( JUNE 22 - JULY 23 ) If you are looking for cheap press, you find it as your appetite for attention increases. And speaking of increased appetites, don't be surprised if your hob nobbing takes you on a fressing frenzy. The more of you the merrier... err or something like that.
LEO ( JULY 24 - AUG. 23 ) Don't jump to conclusions this week. Perhaps proud Lions might consider a short break and a change of scenery. Temptations abound for getting into mischief. Try to keep your indiscretions far from the usual ( and nosy ) crowd.
VIRGO ( AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23 ) Queer Virgins misread others' intentions and make a few missteps on their own. Your Love Boat may hit a sand barge. Make everyone feel better by maintaining a charming attitude and good sense of humor. Now that is a nice change of pace!
LIBRA ( SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23 ) Proud Libras think they can schmooze their way past the powers-that-be. Five retro planets give you visions of grandeur . But you may come off as insincere or, perhaps worse, manipulative. However all is not lost. Your dog still loves you.
SCORPIO ( OCT. 24 - NOV. 22 ) Travel plans go awry. Reservations and luggage get lost. A merry jaunt can become one long slog. No matter. Use that as an easy excuse to kick back and enjoy a taste of home life. Unbeknownst to you, things spice up a bit for you there.
SAGITTARIUS ( NOV. 23 - DEC. 22 ) Your charm is a well hidden secret. In fact it is so well hidden that even you might have trouble mining it. Happily, this is just a phase. Gay Archers really do have much more to offer. Hold back a little and let the world discover you.
CAPRICORN ( DEC. 23 - JAN. 20 ) Count to ten before you escalate any relationship nit pick into a war this week. Pink Caps have a lot of gripes which spill out at any moment. Some are valid and some ( let's face it ) are not. Turn the other cheek. In fact turn both of them and dance.
AQUARIUS ( JAN. 21 - FEB. 19 ) What is it about friends that makes you so antsy and stressed? Stop, look and listen. Aqueerians could be getting it all wrong. Channel all this excess stress into your domestic agenda. It is never too late for a good spring cleaning. Oh goodie.
PISCES ( FEB. 20 - MARCH 20 ) Guppies are in the swim and can out maneuver the sharpest of sharks. All others are off course this week but not you. If you can keep your head when all around you others are losing theirs, you will be a very sought after date!
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