Alright, Frank Failing. I put your mug in my mag. Now I'd better see some of those sexy shots you got of me at Berlin in Gay Chicago or on the ChicagoPride website.
And the sexiness could not have been helped. While there I hung with popular local music DJ Greg Haus, hostess with the mostest ( freedom about showing her titties ) Shayna X, budding young writer and all around good egg Justin Boltz and local juice jockey Justin Poler. And I got out of there JUSTIN time to see one of them with their tongue about two feet deep down some boy's esophagus. And they say chivalry is dead.
Congratulations to the new Mr. Heart of America Continental 2007 and Miss Heart of America Continental 2007. The Baton was packed with luminaries to see Stella pull off two exciting pageants in one night. And if you've ever seen Stella after three too many Sea Breezes, you'd be glad that's all he pulled off.
Speaking of The Baton, happy 40th birthday to the incomparable Mimi Marks. Now is that age based on your date of birth or is it taken as an average age of all different parts of your body? I'm sure some parts aren't even old enough to drive yet.
Who are these bitches kidding at Clark's on Clark? Nobody loves water that much. Those fucking bottles are full of vodka as sure as my aunt Sheila is a Kansas City whore. ( Full disclosure: No aunt of mine is named Sheila, hails from Kansas City or whores herself for money. Nevertheless, I stand by my assertion. )
You can always count on Chix Mix to produce a picture that makes me scared after the fact that I actually printed it. You'd think that me writing those words would be enough to cause me to reconsider my editorial choice, but then what would I write about? Anyway, congrats on Black Bra VII.
Dust off your evening gloves and pull the ball gowns out of moth balls, because the Oscars are coming. Some good bets for all your Oscar viewing are Sidetrack ( for that classic approach ) , Hunters ( with free champagne fountain ) , Crew ( win a $100 Crew card for picking winners ) and Circuit ( for Center On Halsted ) . And remember: It's not what you wear, it's what you say under your breath about what everyone else is wearing.
Finally this week, big ups to TPAN, whose phenomenally successfully sultry fundraiser Chicago Takes Off brought in $70,000. I guess sex really does sell. Luckily, in this instance, it also provides much needed funds to benefit people living with HIV and AIDS. We looking forward to next year's show, guys!