Pictured An example of the pictures which caused a major shitstorm on a GI Joe collectors board.
Don't Ask.
The Sunshine Report recently released documentation showing that in the mid-90's our military considered using homosexuality as a weapon. The idea was to spray enemy troops with an aphrodisiac — preferably one that induced homosexual behavior — to demoralize them.
The plan was rejected. It was deemed unfeasible. The agent needed to induce straight men to have gay sex was unknown to the military. Apparently they had never heard of a 'six-pack.'
A broader problem with the plan is that it isn't necessarily demoralizing to encourage behavior that is already rampantly present. In fact, it could easily backfire. A freshly-fucked fighting force would probably be a little more relaxed and able to deal with the hardships around them.
No, promoting homosexual behavior would not be enough. For a Fag Bomb to be effective, it would have to turn the enemy into screaming queens. Then, after the initial uniform night rush had worn away, we'd truly have a demoralized opponent.
He'd look down at his boots and realize that not only were they not Prada, they didn't possess a label at all. The uniform, did it only come in olive drab? And the food! Little foil MRE packets apparently put
together by some cook that didn't even have the word duxelles in his vocabulary. 'What do you mean there's no product for my hair and I have to shit in a hole in the ground?!' The utter absence of running water, Lancôme, and Clinique would quickly bring the enemy to his knees ( and not in a good way ) .
After the F-Bomb was lobbed in, we'd only need to wait a few days — until we heard a gentle weeping emanating from inside the enemy camp — and then walk in. Our foes would be so relieved that the nightmare was over they would greet our boys as liberators, and I mean that in a real sense, not in an Iraq-sense.
Don't Tell.
All this thinking about military gays reminded me of a few years back when I had a run in with a GI Joe collectors group.
I had started collecting Joes and posted an inquiry on a computer bulletin board looking for other gay GI Joe doll collectors.
Through a number of postings, I was promptly informed that it was not a doll, it was an action figure, and further, they didn't really cotton to my type playing with their toys.
I might do something unspeakable, like dress Joe up in girl clothes.
Hmmm....I hadn't thought of that.
I promptly began stuffing my GI Joes into the girliest things I could find. I took pictures and put together a Joe Fashion Show web site. I then created a new screen name, JoeLover69, and posted the following message:'Hey guys! Check out my neat Joe diaramas at [ URL long gone ] !'
For the next few weeks JoeLover69 got the most delightful mail. He responded to each with 'Thank you so much for your charming letter. You have a very robust vocabulary! Kisses! JL69'
Kissy notes, proposals, and paypal to gspot@graysong.com . Hateful comments to president@whitehouse.gov .
