Jet Set Direct: Take Three
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Pubert: Cover looks like a take-off of the movie Closer.
Ghost: There's Julia Roberts, Jude Law...
P: This is a series where directors produce single scenes.
Two guys in a dressing room, one says he is straight. They are preparing for a photo shoot.
P: He just showed his cock.
G: Wow! It's huge.
P: He keeps looking at the camera.
G: I like his nose.
P: Oh, you like a big nose, do you?
G: Yeah, but he needs a fluffer.
P: The straight guy looks bored in the background.
G: Now the photographer is taking pics. He's all about the business.
P: He is an artiste.
G: The straight guy just came in the corner.
P: I am disappointed that he didn't join in.
The next scene is two men playing football. ' Tight end or wide receiver.'
G: I think they are talking in metaphors.
P: This dialogue is bad. He looks better wet.
G: Take a Viagra if you can't get hard!
We go outdoors after this to a tourist lost on Los Angeles.
P: I think I was in LA when they filmed this.
G: A Latin local is helping the guy find his way.
P: He just asked if he speaks English.
G: That was quick. They are going back to Hernando's Hideaway.
P: I guess they are speaking the language of love now.
G: Eww, bad kissers.
P: His face is all red.
G: It could be drugs.
P: The plot thickens. Maybe he has a sunburn.
G: They are doing the reverse cowboy.
P: Hmm, luv that position.
G: He's crossing the language barrier real quick.
P: Just a hop over the border.
Next section is called The Cable Guy.
G: Is Jim Carrey in this movie?
P: The stud in the towel is frustrated with no cable.
G: He confronts his neighbor who can fix it.
P: Wait, that is porn showing on his TV. I don't have that channel on my cable!
G: I guess it's a premium channel. Haha!
P: They are playing Inspector Gadget music.
G: It's distracting. If someone is that hot sucking me then I am going to be hard.
P: They keep going back to the guy masturbating on TV.
G: He's ugly. I want to see the cable guy cum.
P: He has big balls.
G: He looks like he takes steroids, but still hot.
P: He gave him back his money for fixing the cable.
G: See? He is a good guy.
P: This is like the Grindhouse of dirty movies. Pornhouse…
G: Despite the erection problems, I still liked this movie.
P: Definitely worth checking out Take 3 for the hot guys and different styles of directing.
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
Ghost: Thumbs up the butt.
If you want to check out go to Jetsetmen.com .
If you missed a week of this column go to windycitymediagroup.com and type in 'Pubert.'