Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

from the booth
by Pubert and Groeper
2006-09-27

This article shared 3320 times since Wed Sep 27, 2006
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


Bar Trade

from Studio 2000

Pubert schools 'apt pupil' Stephen Kink about the 'dark half' of movies. These 'firestarters' work the 'graveyard shift' to go the extra 'green mile' and give 'IT' a thumbs up or down. So 'stand by me,' grab your popcorn, your dog 'Cujo' and get ready for another sCarrie review, you dirty bird!

Judging a Porn By Its Cover

Pubert: What do you think of the cover?

Stephen: It makes me miss Madrigals. And when the strippers at the Lucky Horseshoe were allowed to eat!

P: I was the bar trade at the Shoe the other night... .

We enter a stripper bar and get a front row seat for the show.

P: It is just like Madrigals was, red curtains and all.

S: They all dance like a bad Paula Abdul video. Straight up tell me, Pubie.

P: How many people are in the room? Two?

S: Eww, look at him bump and grind.

P: This is not sexual at all. I like his little pants, though.

S: When the hottest thing is the pants on a stripper, Houston, we have a problem.

P: Who's the dirty young kid? Looks like Matt Damon.

S: He looks like a serial killer, 'I am going to get you, stripper!'

P: The dancers are bad like the ones in real life.

S: He took a bow! What is with you and me and the straight guy theme?

P: I guess guys just think it's hot, so it's a recurring theme. Now we are moving to the back room.

S: Can't we get a little privacy for the paying customers?

P: Looks like the honeymoon suiute in Superman 2.

S: Yeah, with all the red and pillows.

P: Pubes trimmed within an inch of their lives.

S: I like a big beefy guy with a little penis, like a hug from Jesus.

P: Vienna sausage.

S: The guy is bulky, with nothing going on down under. The straight guy at least keeps his eyes closed. 'Think of Sheila, don't think of a guy sucking me... '

P: When he's done he goes to look for his crazy stalker customer.

S: Nice outfit.

P: But a straight guy wouldn't dress that nice.

S: The Queer Eye show has given away all our secrets. My gaydar is fucked!

P: Then there is the killer again. The guy that killed JonBenet Ramsey is here in the video!

S: Yeah, he bothers me.

P: Why's his penis so black? It's big and darker than the rest of his body.

S: I think there is some Latino blood in him.

P: I think their a little serial killer in him, too.

S: And silicone in his tits. I think he got a hold of some saline or something.

P: The light is bad on the set and makes him look even darker.

S: Where are they? In some Pier One designed house?

P: With hand-drawn cracks in fireplace--hilarious!

S: The music is the Casio version of 'Let the Music Play.' Hit Bossanova!

P: They both looks crazy. This is like Jeffrey Dahmer fucks Jack the Ripper.

S: He has been beaten on that butt.

P: The serial killer customer is talking to the stripper again. He tries to make him jealous by taking a different guy to the back room.

S: Who designed the set? Looks like Genie's bottle.

P: Well, the straight stripper learned how to 69, be a bottom and piss off a customer all in one day!

S: His penis is like Mr. Bendy.

P: It's pointing north like a compass.

S: Now the straight stripper is getting fucked, hold the phone here!

Quote of the film: 'I think I am not completely straight.'

P: Newsflash, the man taking money for sex with customers is not straight.

S: I am not buying it. There's a lot of limp dick in this movie.

P: There are some redeeming factors. The filming is good and some of the guys are hot.

S: Maybe a pinkie up the butt.

P: I don't think so.

Pubert: Thumbs down the throat.

Stephen: Thumbs down the throat.

Not enough Bar Trade? Purchase it online www.studio2000video.com .

Bar Trade a little dangerous for you? Read a different article online. Go to www.windycitymediagroup.com and type in Pubert.


This article shared 3320 times since Wed Sep 27, 2006
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Black transgender artist Heather Hills releases single, video from Trans Trenderz 2020-11-20
--From a press release - (New York, NY) Electro-pop/rap artist, Heather Hills, has released the new single and video, "Get Dun," on the Trans Trenderz label. "Get Dun" is not for those expecting trauma porn. "I got a cute beat and ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Judicial nominee, stay of execution, revenge porn, Amy Klobuchar 2019-11-05
- A federal appeals court nominee broke down in tears during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing when confronted with a scathing letter from the American Bar Association (ABA) that deemed him "not qualified," NBC News reported. The ...


Gay News

ART Mike Burton offers unique voice with gay porn thumbnails 2019-10-30
- While most artwork has a deeper meaning, Mike Burton's work offers a unique voice distinct in the Chicago LGBTQ community. A transplant from Wadsworth, Ohio, the 28-year-old Burton moved to Chicago two years ago to fully ...


Gay News

CONCERTS Roselit Bone and Reverse Cowboy; New Pornographers; Charli XCX 2019-10-22
- Alhough the chilly winds and the abundance of pumpkin-flavored coffee-creamer ads on television have signaled the end of summer, the year for queer music is nowhere near winding down. This summer turned out to be the ...


Gay News

WORLD Brazilian video, HIV incidents down, Malaysia's problems 2019-03-12
- Brazil's far-right president, Jair Bolsonaro, has sparked outrage, disgust and ridicule after tweeting a pornographic video in an apparent attempt to hit back at criticism of his administration during this year's carnival ...


Gay News

BENT NIGHTS Panic! at the Disco; The New Pornographers 2018-08-14
- Panic! at the Disco vocalist, multi-instrumentalist and one-man band Brendon Urie (who recently came out as pansexual) looks exactly like what he is—a Las Vegas entertainer in rock-star drag. Despite his fashion-model ...


Gay News

Reports: State rep resigns after revenge porn allegations 2018-08-01
- State Rep. Nick Sauer (R-Libertyville) resigned Aug. 1 after allegations broke that he'd posted intimate photos of his ex-girlfriend, Kate Kelly, on a fake Instagram account, where he additionally engaged in sexually-tinged ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-03-14
- "I'm sorry. I recognized you, but I thought maybe from porn!"—A waiter in a restaurant in Italy to Eric Bana. After telling the story on The Talk, Julie Chen said, "Now we know what he does ...


Gay News

MOVIES HUMP Film festival celebrates amateur sex cinema 2018-02-07
- A porn festival for people who don't like pornography? That's how syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage described the HUMP! Film Festival, a two-day annual event coming to Chicago's Music Box Theater on Feb. 16-17. In a ...


Gay News

HUMP Film festival celebrates amateur sex cinema 2018-01-26
- A porn festival for people who don't like pornography? That's how syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage described the HUMP! Film Festival, a two-day annual event coming to Chicago's Music Box Theater on Feb. 16-17. In a ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2017-02-15
- Palm Springs, March 2000. I was cast in Ronnie Larsen's new play, Shooting Porn—not to be confused with his hit play Making Porn. Shooting Porn is the stage version of his award-winning documentary, also called Shooting ...


Gay News

Dan Savage, uncensored 2016-04-06
- Dan Savage is many things—columnist, activist, author, "It Gets Better" co-founder and pundit. However, he'll don another hat when he hosts his HUMP Film Festival—which showcases homemade porn—later this week ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2015-12-02
- "My interest is trannies. I love trannies. I'm attracted to trannies. I don't like no muscle like me."—Formerly straight, now gay, boxer and gay porn star Yusaf Mack proclaims his personal preference. I smell a sequel... ...


Gay News

SCOTTISH PLAY SCOTT Pop porn 2015-07-29
- Out actor Steve Love wasn't originally supposed to star in the world premiere musical comedy Stanley in the Name of Love for The New Colony. Love previously choreographed The New Colony's revised Tupperware musical Plastic Revolution, ...


Gay News

Nightspots photos IML, Memorial Day weekend 2015-05-27
- BIG CHICKS DJ Hifi Sean unboxes the classics for the bears. Photos by Kyle Henderson PROGRESS BAR Fred Says ... that Debbie knows her way around some porn stars. BERLIN Fantastic Plastics. Photos by Jerry Nunn ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.