Bananas From Brazil 2
from Alexander Pictures
Pubert schools 'apt pupil' Stephen Kink about the 'dark half' of movies. These 'firestarters' work the 'graveyard shift' to go the extra 'green mile' and give 'IT' a thumbs up or down. So 'stand by me,' grab your popcorn, your dog 'Cujo' and get ready for another sCarrie review, you dirty bird!
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Pubert: It has the Brazilian Flag on the front. Oh, that brings back memories from traveling there.
Stephen: I didn't know what that was. I'm too distracted by the '10 Hot Men in Action' on the back.
P: I'm going bananas for this video already!
The Brazilian adventure begins with one guy meeting another on the street and going back to his new friend's backyard.
S: He's locking the gate like a serial killer.
P: Cute cat sitting on the porch.
' I'm straight, let's keep this a secret... '
P: I have heard that one a million times.
S: He has long hair. He can pretend he is a girl.
P: It was a quick trip to Gayville.
S: He has an outey belly button.
P: Damn, Brazilians are hung!
S: It's like a veiny sausage from Brazil. Where's that cat now?
P: The pussy has left the building!
S: Notice the straight guy's eyes are open and the gay one's are closed.
P: They are fucking in a broke-down Grandma chair.
S: Is it Edith Bunker's chair?
Next we are in a restaurant where the service is friendly and the servers are even friendlier.
S: Hey! It's a shirtless waiter. News to the Melrose Café, this will get me to eat a Caesar there.
P: That's a good idea. We should open a restaurant. Call it Balls and Franks. Maybe in Wrigleyville?
S: The editor should cut out the part of him trying to get out of his pants.
P: And a condom magically appears. The editor sucks.
S: Put a helmet on that soldier.
P: It's so big!
S: You keep saying that.
P: I am going back to Brazil to learn some more Portuguese.
S: Is that a fly?
P: Better than a fly in my soup; hey waiter, there's a fly on your cock!
Moving right along, we follow a restaurant owner back to his restaurant, which is apparently under construction, where he catches a worker sitting on the job.
P: I don't remember so many restaurants in Brazil. I spent too much time in my hotel room.
S: I bet you did. This guy's place looks like the end of the Blair Witch Project.
P: Rodrigo needs an acting lesson.
S: The owner is wearing red, for passion.
P: He has a Brazilian serpent, an anaconda.
S: And a monkey on his back. No, that is a tattoo of a dragon.
P: Tan alligator shoes with black socks!
S: You would still let him fuck you, wouldn't you?
P: Well, yeah.
S: Why do they call it 'the Brazilian?' They are all so hairy.
P: And hung.
S: 'That will teach you to sleep on the job--a loafer in the face!'
In the following scene the boys look young... skip! Then we have our cover boy walking down the beach and dropping in on a local bar.
P: I just slept with a guy that looks like him. I need to call him sometime.
S: His shirt says 'Vitamins and Minerals.'
P: I couldn't swallow that vitamin! Look at how big he is!
S: You have been saying that the whole video.
P: What can I say? Rio de Janeiro is calling my name. Look at the gross bartender.
S: Looks like Alan Thicke.
P: Is that a Wonder Woman tattoo?
S: The bottom has on clear nail polish. No one goes barefoot in this video.
P: Have you seen that floor?
Pubert: Thumbs up the Brazilian butt.
Stephen: Marginal thumbs up.
Want to go bananas and get Bananas from Brazil 2? Go to www.lucasdistribution.com .
If you would like to hear more about Pubert's Brazilian Adventure write him at firstname.lastname@example.org