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This article shared 3266 times since Wed Aug 16, 2006
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Bananas From Brazil 2

from Alexander Pictures

Pubert schools 'apt pupil' Stephen Kink about the 'dark half' of movies. These 'firestarters' work the 'graveyard shift' to go the extra 'green mile' and give 'IT' a thumbs up or down. So 'stand by me,' grab your popcorn, your dog 'Cujo' and get ready for another sCarrie review, you dirty bird!

Judging a Porn By Its Cover

Pubert: It has the Brazilian Flag on the front. Oh, that brings back memories from traveling there.

Stephen: I didn't know what that was. I'm too distracted by the '10 Hot Men in Action' on the back.

P: I'm going bananas for this video already!

The Brazilian adventure begins with one guy meeting another on the street and going back to his new friend's backyard.

S: He's locking the gate like a serial killer.

P: Cute cat sitting on the porch.

' I'm straight, let's keep this a secret... '

P: I have heard that one a million times.

S: He has long hair. He can pretend he is a girl.

P: It was a quick trip to Gayville.

S: He has an outey belly button.

P: Damn, Brazilians are hung!

S: It's like a veiny sausage from Brazil. Where's that cat now?

P: The pussy has left the building!

S: Notice the straight guy's eyes are open and the gay one's are closed.

P: They are fucking in a broke-down Grandma chair.

S: Is it Edith Bunker's chair?

Next we are in a restaurant where the service is friendly and the servers are even friendlier.

S: Hey! It's a shirtless waiter. News to the Melrose Café, this will get me to eat a Caesar there.

P: That's a good idea. We should open a restaurant. Call it Balls and Franks. Maybe in Wrigleyville?

S: The editor should cut out the part of him trying to get out of his pants.

P: And a condom magically appears. The editor sucks.

S: Put a helmet on that soldier.

P: It's so big!

S: You keep saying that.

P: I am going back to Brazil to learn some more Portuguese.

S: Is that a fly?

P: Better than a fly in my soup; hey waiter, there's a fly on your cock!

Moving right along, we follow a restaurant owner back to his restaurant, which is apparently under construction, where he catches a worker sitting on the job.

P: I don't remember so many restaurants in Brazil. I spent too much time in my hotel room.

S: I bet you did. This guy's place looks like the end of the Blair Witch Project.

P: Rodrigo needs an acting lesson.

S: The owner is wearing red, for passion.

P: He has a Brazilian serpent, an anaconda.

S: And a monkey on his back. No, that is a tattoo of a dragon.

P: Tan alligator shoes with black socks!

S: You would still let him fuck you, wouldn't you?

P: Well, yeah.

S: Why do they call it 'the Brazilian?' They are all so hairy.

P: And hung.

S: 'That will teach you to sleep on the job--a loafer in the face!'

In the following scene the boys look young... skip! Then we have our cover boy walking down the beach and dropping in on a local bar.

P: I just slept with a guy that looks like him. I need to call him sometime.

S: His shirt says 'Vitamins and Minerals.'

P: I couldn't swallow that vitamin! Look at how big he is!

S: You have been saying that the whole video.

P: What can I say? Rio de Janeiro is calling my name. Look at the gross bartender.

S: Looks like Alan Thicke.

P: Is that a Wonder Woman tattoo?

S: The bottom has on clear nail polish. No one goes barefoot in this video.

P: Have you seen that floor?

Pubert: Thumbs up the Brazilian butt.

Stephen: Marginal thumbs up.

Want to go bananas and get Bananas from Brazil 2? Go to .

If you would like to hear more about Pubert's Brazilian Adventure write him at .

This article shared 3266 times since Wed Aug 16, 2006
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