by SX Video
Pubert recruits daredevil Colon Farehole out of the phone booth and into the porn booth to get help with his adult minority report. This S.W.A.T. team will stop bad movies in their tracks and promise a new world through their commentary. So grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Pubert: Just in time for IML we have twinks gone bad!
Colon: Looks like he's riding the Ab Lounger on the back cover.
P: Uh oh, we got fisting in this one. Buckle up, Colon!
The setting for the entire video is in a room with black walls where various men in leather garb hit it off.
C: Target must be out of black sheets by now.
P: And inflatable mattresses. They must make a cushion for the pushin'.
C: This video is cutting to the chase. No storyline in the Dungeon.
P: One guy is wearing Chanel earrings.
C: Tip 1: Don't wear diamonds at a porn shoot. They can get lost in the cracks.
P: The slurping is loud.
C: I sound like that when I do it, but I don't want to hear it in my porn.
P: Sounds like he's skinning a cat!
C: The guys are hot, Chanel earrings and all.
P: The one guy has a little worm penis.
C: Tip 2: Don't talk with your mouthful.
P: Are they making shadow puppets in the background? Bad lighting.
C: I want to be in that sling.
C: It's a hammock, like being on vacation. Lay back and let someone else do the work!
P: He just came and then put it back in.
Suddenly, a new batch of men arrive to the Dungeon.
C: This is the hairy group that doesn't work out as much. We have a whole table full of goodies.
P: It's a porno Tupperware party! You got your 14-inch thruster and your billy club--quite a variety of other stuff, too.
C: This one guy goes along with that. He's pasty white from the '70s with dark overgrown hair.
P: Looks like the sun has never touched his skin.
C: Is he from Powder or People Under the Stairs?
P: Looks like my white trash cousin. The Latin guy is the hottest one there.
C: Tip 3: Steel-toed boots are an accident waiting to happen. Someone is gonna get their nuts squashed!
The next group begins in a three way and ends in a fisting.
P: Leather shorts--just in time for IML and summer.
C: The bald guy looks like rough trade.
P: The Asian is getting some. It's like a Shih Tzu fucking a Pit Bull. This breaks into a fisting scene.
C: Jim Henson didn't have his hand that far up Kermit's ass!
P: Mr. Fister apparently has not had enough. He is going for a different Muppet now.
C: Listen to the chains rattling--it is like ghosts of IMLs past.
P: A Mini Cooper could drive through that butthole.
The finale turns down the lights and makes things scary.
P: The guy in the sleeping mask is putting me to sleep.
C: What a sleepover--ghost stories and buttplugs. They turned down the lights and turned down the quality.
P: We recommend this to twinks dabbling in the dungeon. If you are hardcore, save it for IML weekend!
Pubert: Slight thumbs up the butt
Colon: Thumbs up the butt.
To get tied up with Dungeon go to www.SXvideo.com
Did you feel left in the dark with this review? Write Pubert@windycitymediagroup.com