with randy pubert
Secrets
by Pitbull Productions
Pubert from the North side enlists Lemony Lickit from the South side to get opinions that aren't so black and white. P and L won't leave you on the down low, and will get you out the house to rent the video!
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Pubert: Tiger Tyson - I have been a fan of his for a long time.
Lickit: Not familiar with him. Does he roar?
P: You'll see. The cover is a little dark.
L: Cover says it is 'animalistic.' Lions, Tiger and bears, oh my!
Tiger takes a shower in the scene one. He drops the soap and laughs.
P: Nothing like a clean Tiger!
L: Someone is dropping in on him for a job interview? I wonder what's the position?
P: The camera is a little blurry.
L: It has an old school feel to it. Is Tiger black?
P: Whatever he is, it's the right mix: panther, leopard, I dunno... .
L: I hate it when the stars wear white socks during sex!
P: Me, too. Tigers' bed is inflatable!
L: Ha ha. He just put a pillow underneath his ass. That is so realistic.
P: Look at the bottom guy's face. He's sweating from the Tiger tail.
L: His penis is so long that he's shooting far away from the bed. That is impressive.
P: One sock came off! Guess he didn't get the job.
Scene two involves a meeting at a hotel room. One called Peanut Butta and the other one Chaos.
P: Peanut Butta? Is Chaos the jelly?
BANG
L: Was that a gunshot? This hotel room is ghetto. Is that a hole in the wall?
P: He looks like a hobbit. He just said 'ow' like that hurt.
L: The hobbit is getting Gandalf on the bed. They sound country.
P: It is Lord of the Cockring. He looks a little like Gollum, 'my precious.'
L: Now Frodo's getting banged. He's fucking him backwards, very Circus du Soliel.
P: This scene is too long just like the movie that Peter Jackson directed.
L: Yeah, Peanut Butta is only half a peanut.
P: He just threw his bag out the door!
L: Pitbull Productions is keeping it real.
Tiger and Ludacris ( ? ) in the final scene, relaxing on a futon together. 'That party out there is crazy, yo. We got our own party right here.'
L: That Tiger is tough. Oh no, here come the white socks again.
P: Yeah, the White Sox and a baseball bat.
L: Yeah, he's big. He doesn't take it slow, yo.
45 minutes later, a drag queen is in the bathroom making a phone call and we realize that she is the guy that Tiger just partied with. 'Mimi, you are not going to believe who just fucked me... Tiger Tyson the porn star! I got some Secrets on him!'
P&L: No way!
P: The feature Tiger on Tour is adorable. Secrets is lots of fun.
L: That's one hung tiger. The music is good.
P: Some production issues but it adds to it. Go Tiger Go!
L: Watch out for those secret- telling drag queens.
Randy Pubert: Thumb up the butt
Lemony Lickit: Thumb up the butt
www.thugmart.com for ordering information
Not a fan of the white sox? Write me at pubert@windycitymediagroup.com
