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from the booth
by randy pubert

This article shared 3286 times since Wed Jan 11, 2006
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Lucky Charm

by Tribal Pulse

Randy Pubert teams up with Porno Pete for the new zoo review. P and P promise to not party and play too much but to give you the low down on what to buy or rent.

Judging a Porn By Its Cover

Pubert: 'Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious!'

Porno Pete: Cute guys on the front cover.

Pu: Lots of info on the back and cums subtitled in 4 languages.

Our charming adventure begins with a trip to the outdoor market. A hottie shops for a lucky necklace. He meets a cute local and goes back to his place.

Pu: Is that Bonanza music?

PP: Sounds like Kill Bill playing in the background. So, whoever wears the magic lucky charm necklace gets instant sex.

Pu: The plot is revealed in two seconds and stretched over the entire movie. No talking—good thing we have subtitles. I'm being sarcastic.

PP: I only wear my lucky charms to bed.

Pu: That one is young. He still has acne.

PP: So young and hung.

We follow up that scene with one of the guys dropping the charm on the ground and a new lucky boy finding it. This leads to another bedroom encounter.

PP: Did a baby throw up on his shirt?

Pu: No, it's the European style. He has more hair on his chest than on his head.

PP: They must not get hard unless they wear the charm.

Pu: It's a Viagra necklace! Check out the sweaty butt.

PP: The music is from the David Hasselhoff collection.

Pu: The cameraman must be in the bed with them.

PP: Yeah, the screen is shaking from him trying to hold on!

Pu: They're going to break the bed!

Jump to a three-way in a hotel. One of them ties on the necklace and the fun begins...

Pu: That one guy is H.O.T. This three-way is getting heated.

PP: Is that a tattoo or a skin disease?

Pu: He has a tattoo of a scorpion on his dick.

PP: Oh my god, they're being mean to the ugly one and ignoring him!

Pu: They're slapping him around with their penises.

PP: It's like the monkey in the middle. He has the best seat in the house.

This frosted lucky finale ends when a young buck tries on the necklace after finding it discarded in the bathroom.

PP: He has the Madonna gap in his teeth.

Pu: One of them is possessed by the necklace and rips off the other one's underwear!

PP: Now he's getting plowed on the toilet. He's wearing the lucky charm backwards. I wonder what that does?

Pu: He needs a booster chair to fuck the other one. He's too short.

Close up on the charm as we fade to credits.

Pu: This video had some cute guys in it but they all looked like they are from the land of Hispaniola. Maybe I'll find a lucky charm like that when I'm down in Mexico this week.

PP: Good luck. Yes, there is definitely not a lick of Irish in this video.

Pu: The models were so skinny they could stand to eat some cereal. If you are looking to get charmed by a Latino, pick this up. The music and quality were low, so look for this video in an after-Christmas bargain bin.

Randy Pubert: Marginal Thumbs Down the Throat

Porno Pete: Thumbs Down the Throat

This article shared 3286 times since Wed Jan 11, 2006
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