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  NIGHTSPOTS

from the booth
2005-12-07

This article shared 2836 times since Wed Dec 7, 2005
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with dicksel & pubert

Hot Cops 3:

The Final Assault

from Centaur Films

To try something different, I've enlisted my friend Yvona Humpalot to get a lesbian's take on gay porn. Pubert and Yvona promise to keep you PH balanced. Grab your popcorn, your dildo and enjoy the ride!

Judging a Porn by Its Cover

Pubert: 'Two hours of hardcore action!' Who has that kind of time?

Humpalot: I can't watch this until I have seen parts 1 and 2!

P: Well, I already reviewed Hot Cops 4 back in April. Check out our archives online, pornophiles. Some of these porn stars are retired now.

Our two hour adventure begins with two of porno's finest investigating a domestic dispute.

P: How old is that cop car?

H: 'That's a 10-4, 7-14' official police business. Those are bad couch covers in the suspect's house.

P: These are West Hollywood cops, taking each of the lawbreakers to separate rooms.

H: That zipper is so handy. The penis is out now.

P: You are talking like they're aliens.

H: Can't he take his hat off?

P: He's on the job. Nice T.J. Hooker music.

H: This is very '80s. Even he's bored with the sex.

After this, a man of the law drops in on a civilian while he is working out in his garage. 'You want to work out with me?', asks the local hunk.

P: This happens everyday! He's dumb as a box of rocks.

H: He's taking out his nightstick.

P: I need to start working out in my garage more often.

H: Is that a hemorrhoid? Eww, he's putting the nightstick back in the holster after he's done!

Next up, a bar raid makes the plot thicken with a bartender getting probed and searched by a hot cop.

H: Why is the bartender setting up the bar with dildos?

P: That's a good question, Humpy. Oh, they have a gift shop.

H: They're using a double dildo on each other. That takes coordination.

P: Just like riding a bicycle. It's a double Dutch bust!

H: Does this happen in the male gay bars? I think it's stuck.

P: Is the music in the background, 'Keep Me Hanging On' by Kim Wilde?

The grand finale is a bathroom scene.

P: The sound is horrible.

H: Yeah, what's with the urinal flushing in the background?

P: It abruptly ends with 'To be continued.' Which leads us into Hot Cops 4: Bustin' Loose.

H: What a rip off!

Pubert: Thumbs down the throat

Humpalot: Thumbs down the throat


This article shared 2836 times since Wed Dec 7, 2005
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