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Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-12-07



from the booth: Pina Colada by BelAmi
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
by Randy Pubert

This article shared 5546 times since Wed Jun 27, 2007
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Pubert: More summer videos!

Ghost: I would not pick this up for the front cover, but for the back I would.

P: Is that Justin from the first American Idol on the front? Whatever happened to him?

G: I dunno.

P: Listen to the Jimmy Buffet music.

G: That's a cherry on the menu. How sweet.

Two guys chillin' in an apartment packing for their vacation.

G: He needs a translator.

P: That's not English? I thought he was saying, 'What shirt should I wear?'

G: Maybe he said, 'Can I make this into a sarong?'

P: Tim Gunn, where are you when we need you?

The Slavic boys go on vacation in Brazil. While they are there, they have a modeling shoot in the countryside.

P: That dye job is bad.

G: He should go to ChicagoMale salon.

P: What about my Haircuttery?

G: No comment.

P: The pants are coming off.

G: They're acting silly.

P: They have nice assets.

Two models go inside and start sucking while two others watch through a secret window.

P: Bad suck job.

G: Baby sucking... maybe they have tiny mouths.

P: Blondie must have gotten the job with his dick.

G: They are doing the push me/pull you.

P: Is that what that handjob is called?

G: Nice nuts.

P: Bad trim job, though. It is growing in patchy.

G: Nice angle, once the fucking begins.

P: Uh huh.

G: He is going to town on him.

P: That was quick. Listen to the birds chirping after he cums.

Focus on the two outside of the shed.

G: Their chests are sooo shaved.

P: He's hanging from the chains while the other guy sucks him.

G: That's hot... Paris Hilton hot.

P: He's like a monkey.

G: Like a charm on a bracelet.

P: I want a keychain like that.

G: Tongue fluttering is not sexy.

P: He just put a hat on before he fucked him!

G: That's hilarious.

P: Hold on to the hat.

G: He's like a gymnast with those chains.

Now the video takes a tour around Brazil. A couple meet on the beach and go back to a hotel for fun.

P: Are they outside the hotel on a couch?

G: This is a resort of some kind.

P: These guys are having fun.

G: Sucking dick on a swing, so cute.

P: Don't get sand in your crack.

G: It will be scratchy.

P: This video makes me want to try out some new moves and travel.

Last scene is with our dreaded cover boy.

G: That middle guy is gross, bad skin and bad hair.

P: That kinky hair has to go.

G: Glenn Close hair from Fatal Attraction!

P: He's a champ to bounce on both those cocks.

G: Boil a bunny, I don't care!

P: Don't judge a porn by this cover.

G: But we vote no on Troy Allen.

P: He's a spoiled pineapple in this PiƱa Colada!

Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.

Ghost: Thumbs up the butt.

To drink a Pina Colada our way, go to .

If you want to check out our other summer reviews go to and type in 'pubert.'

This article shared 5546 times since Wed Jun 27, 2007
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