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from the booth: Bear Voyage 2, Rock the Boat! by Bear Films
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
by Randy Pubert
2007-07-18

This article shared 7697 times since Wed Jul 18, 2007
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Pubert: Not the sexiest bears I have ever seen.

Groeper: Cover seems dull.

Somewhere out at sea, a straight older couple on a boat hear strange noises and tell the captain to investigate. Two bears are having sex in their room.

P: That is the hairiest man I have ever seen.

G: My Gawd, he's wearing a jacket of hair. Not my favorite look.

P: His name is Dirk Grizzly.

G: The captain is entering the room but just watching.

P: Was the door unlocked?

G: I guess so.

P: The captain is staring at them in the mirror and he just shot all over it.

G: Maid service!

P: He's punching him. What is up with that?

G: Nature of the beast.

P: Why was that couple complaining? They weren't even that loud.

G: Oops, they just found the spooge on the mirror as they went out.

P: The bear left some porridge for them.

A supposedly straight couple sits on the deck of the boat.

P: The man's reading Glamour and the woman's reading Trucks.

G: That's too funny.

P: He is going to the bathroom now and getting cruised.

G: So much for subtlety. Nice tiling on the bathroom.

P: Getting fucked on a sink is hot.

G: Good cum shot.

P: He's going the have to comb that out of his bear hair.

A bear waiter provides customer service to a guest.

G: The locations are good.

P: Over the water and outside is nice.

G: Don't fall overboard.

P: Now it's dark already. That sun set fast.

G: This is basically a regular porn video with bears.

P: What is the fascination with bears?

G: Hair and size.

P: Look at it. It's like a train going through a forest.

G: Not a lot of creative camera work.

P: Weird angles.

The captain gets caught sniffing a tourist's jock. Bear-on-bear action ensues.

P: Goldilocks is getting caught by a bear. That captain is in trouble now.

G: This is a fun scene.

P: The waiter just busted in and is fucking his boss.

G: Yeah, teach him a lesson!

P: He has to keep his tie out of the way, over the shoulder.

G: Look at those stretch marks.

P: Uh oh, here comes someone else. They are gang banging the captain!

G: It's turning into a bear orgy.

P: Now, the neighbors on the boat have something to complain about. Let's turn this video down so your neighbors don't complain about you.

Pubert: Hairy thumbs down the throat.

Groeper: Thumbs down the throat.

If the review doesn't scare you away from this bear flick, pick it up at BearFilms.com .

Missed a week? Go to windycitymediagroup.com and type in 'pubert.'


This article shared 7697 times since Wed Jul 18, 2007
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