Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13



dateland: Youth Is For The Young
by Jennifer Parello

This article shared 3683 times since Wed Jan 2, 2008
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Last night at a cocktail party, my friends and I discussed deal breakers-the things that turn an initial attraction into utter revulsion.

When I was in my 20s, I had no deal breakers. Basically, as long as the girl bathed regularly, I was game. But, as you age, you become more discriminating. You've lived through a sad series of failed relationships and have compiled a laundry list of character flaws and irritants that you simply cannot put up with again.

My friends and I are in our 40s and we've gotten to the point where we know within the first 10 seconds of meeting a woman whether it will go anywhere. Instead of looking for what we find attractive, we search for flaws. Following are just a few reasons we have cited for ruling out women:

• She has several Celine Dion songs on her iPod.

• She chews her food loudly.

• She has never heard of Dorothy Parker.

• She refuses to speak to her mother.

• She never reaches for the check.

The list goes on and on. It's gotten to the point where I'll play out the entire relationship—from first kiss to the inevitable messy breakup—in my head before I even learn the woman's first name.

In an attempt to stop this cycle, and teach us all a lesson in how to love again, I threw down the gauntlet. I challenged my friends to spend the evening flirting without judgment or expectations.

For my first target, I picked a woman who was about 10 years younger than me. Normally, I would have ruled her out because of her age. I've never been interested in younger women, but considering how everyone my age is cranky and doped up on anti-anxiety drugs, I felt it would be a nice change.

The kid was, indeed, a breath of fresh air. She was excited about her career prospects in musical theater! ( I couldn't resist giving her some motherly advice by suggesting that she get an MBA 'just as a fall back... in case the acting thing doesn't pan out.' ) She loved her tiny studio apartment in a dicey neighborhood! ( I frowned and suggested an excellent security system. ) She trilled that the blizzard blowing outside was romantic! ( I worried aloud about driving conditions. ) She pulled me into the snow and insisted we make snow angels! ( I pointed out that I was wearing a ridiculously expensive cashmere sweater and the cleaning instructions stated explicitly that it was not to come into contact with water. )

She grabbed my hand and exclaimed that I was 'neat and fun!' ( I responded that I was actually rather rickety and overly cautious. ) She suggested that we go to a cool new club and dance all night! ( I told her that I like to be in bed by 10 p.m. and I do not dance. ) She twirled around on her toes and proclaimed that she had never met anyone like me! ( I told her there were dozens of others exactly like me back at the party, staring darkly into their drinks, worried over whether they had remembered to program TiVo to record their programs that night. )

She insisted that I take her home! I smiled and considered it for a moment. But then I pictured her several months in the future, happily trotting off for an extended run in a dinner theater in another state, leaving me alone and signing mournful Marlene Dietrich songs to myself.

Hey! I'll be signing my novel, Dateland, at Women and Children First on Friday, Feb. 15 at 7:30 p.m.

This article shared 3683 times since Wed Jan 2, 2008
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By


Gay News

WORLD World leaders, Namibia attack, Taiwan electoral win, Irish LGBTQ+ groups 2024-01-19
- In the wake of Gabriel Attal being named France's newest prime minister, PinkNews published a list of every out LGBTQ+ world leader to date. They include ex-San Marino head of state Paolo Rondelli, former Iceland Prime ...

Gay News

SHOWBIZ 'Shucked,' Melissa Etheridge, 'Elite,' composer dies, Orville Peck 2023-10-19
- The Broadway production Shucked has set a closing date of Jan. 14, 2024 at the Nederlander Theatre, Playbill noted. At closing, the Tony-nominated musical will have played 28 previews and 327 regular performances. A North American ...

Gay News

Beyonce concert film 'Renaissance' debuting Dec. 1 2023-10-03
- Media outlets have reported that the theatrical release date for Renaissance: A Film By Beyonce—a movie chronicling the superstar's most recent world tour—is Dec. 1. Advance tickets are already available for sale on major theater chains ...

Gay News

Support group for LGBT widows and widowers unites members in grief 2023-09-30
- In May of 2016, C. Russell Bond of Wilmette founded a monthly support group for LGBT widows and widowers. The group's most recent September meeting happened to fall one day after an anniversary date with ...

Gay News

"The Mattachine Family" to open Reeling: The Chicago LGBTQ+ International Film Fest Sept. 21 2023-08-02
--From a press release - Chicago, Illinois (August 2, 2023) — Reeling: The Chicago LGBTQ+ International Film Festival today announced the dates and opening night presentation for its 41st edition, running Sept. 21 - Oct. 8, 2023. This year, the second-longest ...

Gay News

Equality Illinois heralds July 1 effective date of trans-affirming birth certificate law 2023-06-28
--From a press release - CHICAGO — Effective July 1, trans and gender-expansive individuals born in Illinois will be able to self-identify for gender marker corrections on their birth certificates because of a law approved by Governor JB Pritzker earlier this ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: And Anderson doesn't makes three 2023-05-22
- "We could have some good threesomes, me and Anderson." —Andy Cohen's response to Sherri Shepherd's question about his sex life, threesomes, and why he doesn't just date Anderson Cooper. Andy quickly added, "Because, by the way—excuse ...

Gay News

Vermont enacts most comprehensive transgender healthcare protections to date 2023-05-11
--From a press release - May 10, 2023 (MONTPELIER) — Vermont Gov. Phil Scott signed into law two bills—HB 89 and SB 37—protecting access to essential healthcare for transgender people. The new laws come as at least 18 states have moved ...

Gay News

WORLD Grindr in Egypt, police report, queer tango, Human Rights Watch, Gay Games 2023-03-31
- Dating app Grindr is warning its users in Egypt that police are allegedly using fake accounts to entrap those seeking dates on the platform, after a spike in recent arrests of LGBTQ+ people, MSN noted via ...

Gay News

Mayor Lightfoot, DCASE announce dates for summer festivals and events 2023-03-13
--From a press release - CHICAGO—Today, Mayor Lori E. Lightfoot and the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE) announced the 2023 dates for some of the City of Chicago's most beloved summertime traditions. Returning festivals and events include ...

Gay News

At 'FIRST(ISH)' Sight: Producer Ashley Flowers speaks on 'honest' representation 2023-02-22
- Ashley Flowers—a producer, co-creator and actor in the short film First(ish) Date, now in pre-production—wears many creative hats. She also has an extensive resume working with stage and film props as well; Flowers has been working ...

Gay News

Chicago Red Stars announce 2023 schedule 2023-02-08
--From a press release - CHICAGO, Ill. (February 8, 2022) — The Chicago Red Stars and the National Women's Soccer League (NWSL) announced today the schedule for the 2023 NWSL season. In addition to releasing regular-season dates, the NWSL revealed the ...

Gay News

Beyonce adds second Chicago date to tour 2023-02-05
- Beyonce—now the most-decorated singer in Grammys history—has added a second Chicago date to her newly announced "Renaissance" world tour, according to The Chicago Tribune. She will now perform at Soldier Field on July 22-23. H ...

Gay News

WORLD Brazilian musician, top LGBTQ+ cruises, Elon Musk, anti-trans attack 2022-11-20
- Brazilian musician Pedro Sampaio revealed that he dates men and women, Out noted. Sampaio has 7 million monthly listeners on Spotify, more than 5 million followers on Instagram and several music videos with more than 50 ...

Gay News

Russian court sets Brittney Griner's appeal date 2022-10-03
- Brittney Griner's date in front of an appeals court has been set. ...


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.






About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.