There are names of lovers linked forever in history...Heloise and Abelard, Dante and his Beatrice. Even Antony and Cleopatra had their contemporary counterpart with Liz and her Dick...Richard Burton, that is. We Queers also have a few couples recognized in the mainstream...the Emperor Hadrian and his beloved Antinous, Gertrude and her Alice, Oscar and Bosie, Natalie Clifford Barney and any lesbian who was anybody in expatriate Paris. For the current crop of gay-bies the names of the once poster girls for lipstick lesbians, Anne & Ellen ( Heche & DeGeneres in case you spent the last several years under a rock ) , seem to be another link in that chain. At least it will be so if the current publicity Heche-athon continues in the wake of the impending new series sitcom that Ellen kicks off next month.
After their three-and-one-half years together fizzled, Rex Wockner writing in Outlines August 2000 spoke for many when he asked: "... since they chose to live their relationship so much in the public eye ... I'd like to know what went wrong. ... One more sentence would suffice for people who looked up to them as gay role models." But that explanation was not forthcoming. Shortly thereafter each had a cover story in People magazine, Ellen's mother's publisher dropped a picture of Heche from the cover of Just A Mom, and the gals were seen with their new "pairs." Who knows their names? I don't have my ear to Hollywood headlines but I seem to remember Nicholas and Alexandra ( or was it Coley? ) . In the ensuing months only occasional flashes were seen in the tabloids.
Not like the early days of the relationship when there was a virtual publicity barrage. Heche was high profile... in The New York Times, a full page in Parade Magazine, the cover of Out magazine, an interview with Charlie Rose on his superb PBS talk show. Despite heavy hype her two films with Harrison Ford and Joaquin Phoenix were less than memorable...what were those titles? Then there was the highly anticipated joint venture, the HBO film If These Walls Could Talk II. But all that was after Ellen's previous show got boring. They rode the tide of her 'coming out' episode, which many queers felt was the last funny episode of the series. By 2000 Ellen was even telling The New York Times: "You can't be both political and funny." That came as a shock to many of us lesbians who have heard Kate and Marcia and Suzanne. Maybe it was just that Ellen couldn't be political and funny...trying to be funny to a largely straight white audience without being self-deprecating or offensive is a tough sell.
Some of us tried to point out the folly of catapulting newcomers into role model status. I got a lot of mail after my Aug. 23, 2000 Outlines column on the breakup. Some by folks who missed the point that I felt their very public positioning as poster people was premature and that allowing themselves to be made movement mavens by the media was either ill advised or publicity generated. One writer ( male ) asked if I had any concrete evidence upon which to support my theory that Heche was "conniving and perhaps an opportunist." Duh!
StormyGwen wrote that they became an example alright "... the example is that you can't become something you're not. No matter how you choose to use people. A make believe ladder won't hold you up for long. I spent more than 3-1/2 years married to a man. It never convinced me ( or my husband ) that I was straight no matter how much I 'acted' like I was."
A fellow columnist lambasted me for being "judgmental" saying, "They were a potent force in the forefront of prominent lesbians and gay men, and I think they set a marvelous example, whether they are still together or not." Yeah well, I'd rather we held up as role models folks like Barbara Gittings and Kay Lahusen, or Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon whose 40-year plus relationships have been partnered in activism.
Heche has certainly reinforced my opinion of her. There was only brief coverage of her writing and directing effort Reaching Normal when it played at Sundance. But now, she seems to be jumping at the chance to link her name with Ellen's again as the comedian increases publicity for her new show airing in September. Heche has an upcoming interview on a Baba Wawa special for ABC-TV. She has feelers out to People magazine to see if they will foot the bill for her upcoming hetero-nuptials in exchange for exclusive coverage. And best of all she and her publishers are pushing up the release date of her book, Call Me Crazy, to early September.
Interestingly, Heche's lead-off quote in last year's New York Times full-pager on the couple ( six months before their breakup was announced ) was that she and Ellen were "crazy happy."
Heche is crazy like a fox. Here we are writing about her again.
Copyright 2011 by Marie J. Kuda, email kudoschgo@aol.com