My partner Kathy's parents have issues with me. You might think it's the lesbian thing. But after 18 years of me at their table, in their house, at every family gathering, large and small, they've pretty much gotten over that. Another good guess would be my liberal to their conservative or Democrat to their Republican. This difference probably does not endear each of us to the other but in the main we've agreed to disagree and not mix it up over politics. What about the fact that I'm protestant and they're Catholic? You'd think that could be an issue. But I don't bring up Martin Luther, and they don't push the pope. Plus, it's hard to sell a religion that's currently best known for pedophile priests. No, the thing that's got them all riled up is that they are White Sox fans—and I am a Cubs fan: think Hatfields and McCoys in baseball caps.
In the past, this wasn't much of an issue. What were we going to argue about—whose team sucked worse? But since the White Sox won the World Series this past year, her folks have gotten pretty puffed up about their team. Or rather, about their team's fan base. The 'our fans are better/more loyal than your fans' topic did come up now and then before, but, lately, the chant has been rising to a fever pitch. There's no point in using logic or statistics to argue the point with them: we've tried that. It falls on deaf ears. Mention the fact that, up until the waning months of this past season, Cellular Field, where the White Sox play, is often nearly empty, and the comeback is that Cubs' fans are just drunken yuppies, biding their time in Chicago for a year or two before moving on, there to party, not for the baseball. And how do they account for the near impossibility of getting season tickets at Wrigley Field or the fact that they, the big White Sox fans, got to only two or three games last season? Well, in short, they don't. I could go on—citing a study that found the demographics of the two teams' fans nearly identical—but since you're not embroiled in this feud, you're probably not burning to know the details.
In short, I can handle the abuse—years of being a Cubs fan prepares one well for mockery and lack of respect—but what about the children? Our nephew Miles, like the Gaza Strip or our national parks under Bush, has become disputed territory. Born of two Cubs fans, with at least one aunt and one set of grandparents who are also Cubs fans, Miles's team allegiance is a fiercely waged battle. And he's only 14 months old. So far, this turf war has played itself out in onesies and t-shirts, half of us outfitting the lad in blue and red, the other half scouring the shelves for Sox black and gray. But soon I fear he will feel himself metaphorically tugged to the north on one side and to the south on the other. If he's smart, he'll become a Yankees fan and piss us all off.
You might be wondering, though, about the timeliness of this topic. Shouldn't we be arguing football or basketball or something? First, there's only one professional Chicago team for each of those sports—unless you count the women's teams, which, of course, no one does ( ditto hockey ) . Second, I've never really been able to muster enough interest in those sports to care. And finally, did I mention that the White Sox won the World Series this past year? Kathy's dad—who got to go to a World Series game, thanks to a good friend of Kathy's with White Sox connections—has been reliving the series by watching tapes of the games and, one can only suppose, periodically fingering his ticket stub. Oh wait: that's framed, along with a picture of Miles in a White Sox t-shirt.
Let's just say that Christmas Eve with the extended family gave ( re ) new ( ed ) meaning to the phrase north vs. south. I'm proud of myself, though; so far I haven't resorted to the standard Cubs mantra in any of our 'debates.' That doesn't mean, though, that, somewhere in my heart, that steady four-beat refrain doesn't keep repeating, 'wait till next year.'
©2006 by Yvonne Zipter.
See www.yvonnezipter.com .
