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Writing Gay
by Emmanuel Garcia
2004-02-01

This article shared 3293 times since Sun Feb 1, 2004
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Trees—a word that often comes out of my mouth usually around my close friends. Lately, though, I've integrated the word into my everyday vocabulary, only to find that most people don't know what it means. Of course, I don't expect them to know what I mean when I just out of the blue say, 'Trees.' After all, it's a word that originated within my elite circle of silly, bohemian friends. So, I've decided to introduce the word to you, the reader, under the condition that you use the word wisely.

So that you will understand what I mean when I do say 'trees,' let me give you the simple definition:

Trees, pl.n 1. the act of being malicious or deviant. 2. a word used to describe the negative behavior of someone else. Derived from the word—shady.

There are plenty of reasons to use the word Trees, but I mostly use it to convey disappointment in someone else's choice of ethics, or just plain stupidity. For example, my roommate Frida loves to cook, but she isn't very good in the cleaning department. So, every time she's done baking one of her fabulous cakes and leaves flour dust on the kitchen table I say, 'Trees, bitch, clean this mess up!' Usually she responds, 'Yo' Mama bitch, you ate half the cake!' The word trees has a natural pizzazz—it rolls of your tongue to command a high level of understanding from the people around you. I mean, it isn't often that you have a word that you can use to entirely sum up the feeling of disappointment. For example, a while back I came home from night class to meet up with the boy I was dating only to find profiles of other men on his Internet Explorer history. I only had to say one word to him to make him aware that I was upset. The only thing that came out of my mouth was, 'Trees.' I'm sure there are plenty of moments when my friends have used the word Trees on me. For Example ... well ... actually, in writing this article I couldn't find a moment in which I recalled someone using the word Trees against me, so I decided to ask Frida if there were any moment when she would have used the word Trees.

To my surprise she said there was a time, but she was only willing to tell me if I was willing to tell her one in exchange. I couldn't really think of one of the top of my head. I knew she had a good one—probably one I didn't want to hear—but my curiosity was at an all-time high. She didn't budge, which leads me to believe that there is a very big Trees moment on me. The only way I could respond to her refusal to share—'Trees!' Defending the word Trees isn't an easy task because there are plenty of people out there that will tell you that trees isn't a real word. To them I say 'Trees'. I met one of those non-believers who swore by everything above the sky that he would never use the word Trees, and yet it seems that even he finds himself saying it to me. That's probably the worst part of the word Trees: the more people who know what it means, the more likely it's going to be that they will use it against you.

People who claim to fight the deterioration of the English language will say that it's just garbage and that no one will ever use this word in substitute of the word shady. But like the words spongeworthy, googling, and cameltoe, that were once considered slang but by popular demand made it into the hierarchy of words known as the dictionary, trees just might catch on. It was just the other day I was at the grocery store and overheard someone use the word ''trees.' I looked a little more closely to see if I could recognize the person and I didn't.

I thought maybe we knew a mutual friend. I didn't bother asking because it wasn't any of my business and it's not like me to go up to strangers and interrupt, especially if they were using the word 'Trees.'

To further illustrate the use of the word Trees here is a list of Top Five Moments in time when you would have heard the word 'trees' had the people in these situations known any better. — When Geri left the Spice Girls. — When Joseph found out the baby wasn't his. — When we didn't find any Weapons of Mass Destruction. — Whenever Simon Cowell opens his mouth. — Whenever Bennifer makes headlines.

Who came up with the word Trees is still in debate among my friends. I don't believe it's important to note who was the first to use the word, but who introduced it to the masses. Of course that would be me. I can already hear my friends saying, 'Trees.'

Emmanuel Garcia is a student at Columbia College in Chicago. You can find more of his writing on his Weblog at www.emmanuelgarcia.blogspot.com .

MEDIA BLIP: CTV (Canada) reported Jan. 12 on 'Mexico's gays, lesbians trying to win rights.' Quote: 'In the socially conservative country of Mexico, some openly gay cafes and bars are sprouting up in the nation's capital. They are emblematic of rising gay pride there.'


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