Compiled by graysong
A Salute to the true geniuses of the world
Brought to you by the publishers of the Annals of Improbable Research, the Ig Nobel Awards celebrate the science that makes you go hmmmmm. Discovering a new particle of matter won't win you an Ig Nobel, but inventing Neuticles ( ! ) will. So will investigating the scientific validity of the 5-Second Rule, or studying 'Scrotal Asymmetry in Man in Ancient Sculpture'. Sadly, studying 'Scrotal Asymmetry of Man in Modern Beds' apparently does not qualify as the Ig Nobel committee has yet to contact us despite years of ( ahem ) hard research into the subject.
The 2005 Ig Nobel Winner in Economics is Gauri Nanda of MIT for inventing Clocky, the clock that insures you get up for work. When you hit the snooze button, Clocky rolls off the nightstand and runs off to some other part of the room. Then when it alarms again you have to get your lazy ass out of bed to find the damn thing. We here at WWWeird tested Clocky. It worked as advertized—once. The alarm went off. We hit snooze. Clocky rolled off and hid under the bed. 9 minutes later it alarmed again. We did indeed rise to find it and, when we did, we beat it unmercifully to death.
sxz r56 b nmu9i k,o p= [
The 2000 Ig Nobel winner in Computer Science, Chris Niswander, is the inventor of PawSense. PawSense is software that detects whether or not a cat is walking across the keyboard. It runs in the background and by analyzing typing patterns detects whether the input is from human typing or feline strolling. If it detects a strolling pattern it throws up a CAT-LIKE TYPING DETECTED dialog box and blocks further input from the keyboard until the word 'human' is entered. It also cuts loose with a harmonica blast to scare kitty from the keyboard. We're not sure exactly what constitutes cat-like typing, perhaps phrases like 'the litter box is filthy' and 'send tuna.'
Those Brits are Serious about their tea
In 1999 the British Standards Institute won the Ig Nobel Prize in Literature for their eight-page treatise 'Method for the preparation of a liquor of tea for use in sensory tests'—that's right, a eight-page document on how to brew tea. ( You'll have to register and search for document BS 6008. ) You can read the finer points of tea brewing if you're willing to shell out about $40 for the paper. We'll save the money, and instead put it towards a nice bottle of absinthe from Absinthe Originale ( www.originalabsinthe.com ) . It's only $86 and it's a helluva better buzz than some old pot of tea—even a perfect one. And yes, they do ship to the US.