Compiled by graysong
What a Gas
The Gas Station Websites Blog answers the eternal question 'Why do gas stations have websites?' Well, actually it poses the question rather than answers it. It also poses the parallel questions 'Why are they all so gawdawful bad?' and 'Why in the hell do so many of them play midi files?' The critiques of the site design and content aren't that funny, but the links to the websites are. It's an amazing hodge-podge of icky frames-based designs, cheesy animated GIFs and horrendous midi music. Wow, 'horrendous midi music'—a phrase simultaneously redundant and oxymoronic. We're so proud.
Mum is the the word
Quite frankly, we don't give a rip about 'the rich history of menstruation and women's health' that this website promises to divulge. We were just here to see the Lysol douche ad. Yes Virginia, there was one. It ran in a 1928 issue of The Delineator. Discovering this has given us new focus and meaning in our lives. You see, we have to have a copy of the ad. It will be fabulous in the WWWeird Compound's bathroom. Right between the '445 Out of 660 Toilet Tissues Tested Contain HARMFUL ACIDS' and the 'Why Women Prefer this Soft Fleecy Protection' ads. We do love our hygiene ads.
Turn me on Dead Man
Speaking of douches, here is big one. Jon Kelley promises to find your hidden messages by recording your voice and playing it backwards—for only $107. He claims our subconcious mind expresses itself through these backwards messages and that by revealing them you can deal with things like anxiety, post-traumatic stress, financial issues, and depression. Hell, you can even achieve kundalini awakening. We here at WWWeird wonder if you turn text backwards will you also reveal these hidden, meaningful messages?
No, The earth isn't the center of the Universe. I am.
Oh boy. We thought the Flat Earthers were bad but they seem positively rational compared to the Fixed Earthers. The fixed earthers believe that the earth is the center of the universe. They also believe that the earth isn't rotating at all. People who says it is are nasty buggers who spread Copernican and Darwinian LIES!!! Fixed Earthers even manage to tie the Koran, Kabbalah, and hate crimes legislation into the Copernican Conspiracy. ( Them A-rabs, Jews and Ho-mo-sexuals are in on it together! )
P.S. Tycho Brahe was murdered!