Pictured 1 DJ Kevin Bernal at Jackhammer. Pix by Kirk. 2 Nick and his 'beard' at Cocktail. pix by Kirk. 3 Aaron at Clark's on Clark. pix by Kirk
Surely you are familiar with the term 'on the down low' by now. The mainstream media have pounced on it and announced this phenomenon to the world like they have discovered uranium or some shit. Well, Fox News, I got your scoop right here!
While drinking away the hours at Ms. Cocktail last night, I met a gorgeous young man who I'll call 'Nick' (mostly because that's his name). When I went to take his picture, he layed one on his female companion, thus signifying straightitude. Or did it? For you see, 'Nick' has hit upon a beautiful idea!
When I assured him, 'Don't worry, honey, we know you are straight,' he responded, 'Far from it!' Apparently, by kissing his fag hag (no offense honey, you're beautiful, but that's the term), he instantly turns on that butch machismo we faggots all secretly crave. He becomes unreachable, like the snowy peak of a far off mountain we'd just kill to scale.
So what do we call this curiosity? I welcome your suggestions. Consult the unecessarily long email address at the end of the column. In the subject line, enter 'straight?'
While were on the topic of naming, what do you call a half-naked drag queen? Regina, of course! Check out the Spread for a hot booty shot from Stella Productions' Divas and Dancers show at Jackhammer, last Sunday of the month.
Speaking of Stella, Nightspots Magazine is the o-ficcial media sponsor of the Miss Stella Productions 2004 pageant at The Hideaway May 22. See the ad on the inside back cover for more poop, or go to
Foozie, Foozie, Foozie. That's all I have to say. That's all there is to say. Check her out handling balls at Hydrate's gay lottery every Thursday. Some lucky duck plucked $1,500 from Foozie's hand a few weeks back!
Got leather? See www.imrl.com for full IML schedules and dates (if you really want to find dates, there are other websites I can recommend.)
I expect to see all of you at Bucks, enjoying the summer sun on their patio. Relax, have a few, give Matthew a blow job, whatever. (Windy City Media Group and Bucks Saloon do not condone most public sex acts, but if you want to take Matthew out to your car or something, that's entirely your own affair.)
Ah, to kick back in Kevin's DJ booth!