The debate over same-sex marriage continues to heat up around the country, and last Thursday the plot thickened here in Chicago. It was an unusual afternoon, and as an activist, I found myself in a precarious position. In the span of two hours and a couple of city blocks, Chicago witnessed three distinct, but bizarrely connected events.
The afternoon began with a rally outside Cook County Clerk David Orr's office. Marriage equality supporters gathered to compel Orr to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Orr emerged from his office, shook hands with several activists, and was escorted by police to the second event of the day—a press conference organized by a group of elected officials in which they read and signed an open letter to Republican Speaker of the U.S. House, Dennis Hastert, expressing their opposition to the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment. The signers included Cook County Commissioner Mike Quigley and Ald. Tom Tunney, State Representatives Larry McKeon and Sara Feigenholtz, Oak Park Mayor Joanne Trapani, and David Orr. While the officials did speak out strongly against the amendment, they also took the opportunity to state unequivocally that they will not 'break the law' by issuing licenses to same-sex couples. They insisted instead that we focus our energies on first stopping this vicious, discriminatory amendment from becoming law, and work for marriage equality later—when it becomes more politically prudent.
While I think most LGBT activists would agree that we do need to mobilize to stop the amendment, putting marriage equality on the back burner in the name of political strategy is not an opinion that resonates with people who are waiting for their relationships to finally be legally protected, and for their very humanity to at last be validated by the government. So, in the final event of the day, when the officials met activists in Daley Plaza to read their letter to Hastert, they were, not surprisingly, met with opposition from protestors chanting, 'Rights Delayed Are Rights Denied.'
It was a bizarre and uncomfortable day for activists as we found ourselves protesting the very elected officials with whom we are usually standing in solidarity. I attended both rallies as an activist for marriage equality, but also stood with the elected officials at the press conference in support of their opposition to the marriage amendment as a representative of Chicago NOW. So at 12:30 p.m., I was standing with Orr, Tunney, McKeon and the others as they signed their letter and the cameras rolled, but by 1:30 p.m. I rejoined the protesters in Daley Plaza to tell these same officials that we cannot wait any longer for marriage equality. This contradiction may have been slightly exaggerated for me due to my attendance at the press conference, but I am confident many activists went home that day with the same conflicted feeling that I was experiencing.
It's not that I don't believe that this particular group of officials are committed to fighting for LGBT rights—some of them are openly gay, and all have proven track records. I recognize their commitment, and appreciate what they have done for us so far. I even believe that they will continue to 'push the envelope' on same-sex marriage as the political climate allows. I recognize the value of working with people in office who want to work with us, and of standing behind the people who are standing behind us. But with an issue of such grave importance, that has such a tangible impact on my life and lives of people I love, I find myself more and more unwilling to compromise or to wait. As much as I want to continue to stand in solidarity with LGBT supporters in office, and as clearly as I understand the difficult political decisions they're facing, as an uncompromising activist and more importantly, as a young lesbian, I can't help but think: you're either with us or you're against us. Whether you're in an elected office or not, the time has come to choose a side because the humanity and integrity of so many people is hanging in the balance waiting for you to choose.
As the issue of same-sex marriage draws closer and closer to some sort of a pinnacle in Chicago and beyond, I imagine the stakes will continue to get higher, and the decisions more difficult. I do not envy the people in elected posts faced with the task of actually making these complex political calculations. But as activists, I believe we will have to play both sides of the coin for a while—supporting officials in their efforts to stop the marriage amendments (in Illinois and nationally), but rallying to send them a clear message that full marriage equality now is the only right answer to this complicated question.
Streit is Business Manager of Windy City Media Group and a board member of NOW.