As a child in a Communist family, I had been raised knowing what was wrong with our society.
Waiting to come of age in the political hinterlands of Kansas City meant smothering, for nearly two years, the instinct to help put the world right.
Restless for action and longing for meaningful connection, my chance came at the beginning of 1956 when, at the end of my vacation back in Philadelphia, my friends borrowed a car to drive from Philadelphia to Chicago for a Labor Youth League conference. Happy to delay my return to the dread midwest, I got permission to change my ticket and go with them. Thankfully, the FBI was on the job, updating "ALIX CECIL DOBKIN aka "LEXIE' DOBKIN," in the dossier, begun when I was 12. For the next 15 years that file would grow several inches thick with assessments from agents and quotes from informers and others, such as school administrators.
Their identities remain a State Secret even 40 years later, since almost every page is partially or wholly blacked out. The Dept. of Motor Vehicles, HUAC ( House Un-American Activities Committee ) and the NYC Daily News appear among the Agency's sources of information, hence mine. According to the FBI, "The LYL has been designated by the United States Attorney General pursuant to Executive Order 10450." Reading further, "On February 11, 1956, photographs of persons entering the Ben Mittleman Center, Chicago, Illinois were taken by Special Agent ( blacked out ) ." Five of us had shared the driving through two days and a night for a long weekend holding little sleep, many speeches, meetings and socializing, running overtime with debates, elections, motions and resolutions. We made time to sing progressive folksongs and to socialize among hundreds of "youth" of all ages. They milled about the big hall where we flexed our class analysis and conversed in Revolutionary Theory.
A Party front, LYL was largely run by middle-aged Party "youth workers" with whom the conference swarmed, together with the usual informers and agents. Dramas erupted from whispered huddles, frantic bulletins privately delivered, or sudden, urgent departures and unexplained absences. Being a novice politico unable to decipher hidden agendas and secret power struggles, it was hard to tell what was personal and what was political.
Stimulated by the heady spectacle and high pressure, I stuck with Sandy and my pals and inhaled the charge that hundreds of like-minded progressives always created for me. I knew I could trust these people. Back at my assigned housing, a small child in the family whose couch I was making up for the night, asked me, "Are you a woman or a girl?" I wasn't quite sure having never thought about it before. A small, slick magazine, New Challenge ( for Youth ) , was launched at the Chicago LYL conference from which I had reluctantly returned to Kansas City as a correspondent. The anticipation of moving back east and getting a real life in Philadelphia is all I remember of those final Kansas City months. Thanks to top-notch FBI work however, a few particulars of my political activity are duly noted. " ( blacked out ) ... advised that ALIX DOBKIN had telephoned his office and had identified herself as a reporter for a magazine called New Challenge.
"Subsequently on this same date ALIX DOBKIN, accompanied by a teenage girl giving her name ( blacked out ) . These girls advised ( blacked out ) were required to write for the magazine, BOB ROLFE, manager and editor of New Challenge, 673 Broadway, New York City. They stated they were not being paid and they were to do this to gain experience and to develop their knowledge concerning young people's problems in the Kansas City area. ( Blacked out ) said he reviewed a copy of New Challenge and noted the magazine identified itself as a young people's magazine believing in the principles of Marxism and believing that Marxism presented the best opportunity for the youth of America.
"Subject: ( blacked out ) advised ( blacked out ) they were interested in the progress and problems with regard to desegregation in the Kansas City area, particularly as it affects the youth. ALIX DOBKIN indicated her main interest was in attempting to call together in Kansas City a youth group interested in these common problems so they could be freely discussed."
The report has me interviewing a few other informers on behalf of New Challenge, but I don't recall writing an article or who was with me at those interviews. I do remember finding out that nothing was happening with the youth of Kansas City.
E-mail: XXAlix@aol.com