Trailers were once useful vehicles that did good things. In the wake of the Bushies' desperate search for weapons of mass
destruction in Iraq, trailers have become sinister machines of the modern roadway.
As you may recall, Colin Powell talked about mobile bio labs while standing before the U.N. last February, offering up grainy
photos that he claimed depicted evil goings-on occurring in tractor trailer-like vehicles across Iraq. It sounded not unlike a high-
concept Hollywood farce: scientists concocting deadly biological agents while trucking down the highways and byways from
Baghdad to Basra. Sort of The Nutty Professor meets Convoy—with a dash of Arabian Nights thrown in. This was no hunch or guess,
Powell said. They had the goods.
'My colleagues, every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid sources,' he assured the U.N. in a speech that was
pivotal in the administration's march toward the invasion of Iraq. 'These are not assertions. What we're giving you are facts and
conclusions based on solid intelligence ... . We have firsthand descriptions of biological weapons factories on wheels.'
Powell then went on to describe 'mobile production systems mounted on road trailer units'—18 of them, to be precise—that 'can
produce enough dry biological agent in a single month to kill thousands upon thousands of people.'
Since the first Saddam statue toppled over in Baghdad, the search for the monstrous trailers has taken on mythic proportions, with
sightings just about every day. This is the Bigfoot of our time, complete with murky pictures and composite sketches, and witnesses
who emerge from the shadows with frightful stories that never quite gel. But the Bushies and the American media have their asses on
the line with this one. They've got to produce those damned trailers of mass destruction no matter how incredulous it all sounds.
The CIA's Web site is starting to look like the Psychic Friends Hotline site. Last week, they were touting the two 'probable' bio
labs. And it does look pretty convincing—if you're seven years old. Click through and you'll find color drawings of the trailers that
Powell imagined when he was at the U.N., and then next to them you'll see photos of the actual trailers they claim to have found last
week, which have an uncanny resemblance to the color drawings. Imagine.
The trailers they found are no different from those they seem to find every week—discoveries that get front-page attention when
they occur, but hardly any attention when they later turn out to be run-of-the-mill trailers. CIA officials touted last week's finding as
major, but when pushed on the evidence, they caved.
'There were inconsistencies in the evidence and a lack of hard proof, like the presence of pathogens in trailer gear,' The New
York Times reported, making you wonder why this is even a story. 'The officials acknowledged that they had discovered neither
biological agents nor evidence that the equipment had ever been used to make germ weapons.'
Then what makes them smoking guns? 'The best evidence of that,' CIA officials told the Times, 'was the trailers' close
resemblance to prewar descriptions of mobile germ plants given by Iraqi sources.'
In other words, they looked like Powell's cartoons.
To help the government find these trailers of mass destruction, I conducted my own investigation. Herewith is my report to John
Ashcroft, the Pentagon and the CIA:
The ease with which people can now acquire trailers on the open market is horrifying and is a major concern for national security.
Clearly the government must enact trailer control laws, so as to stop the rampant flow of trailers throughout this country and the world.
Case in point: Discount-Trailors.com . On this site, you can buy a wide range of trailers. Cargo trailers. Fishing-boat trailers. Golfcart
trailers. ATV transport trailers. There is even evidence that Iran and Syria have made purchases from Discount-Trailors.com: The
company claims to ship anywhere.
We must also investigate the InterClean Equipment Company, which also advertises on the Web. It is my hunch that InterClean is
into trailer laundering—literally. It's no coincidence that none of the trailers we are finding have any traces of biological agent and that
InterClean cleans most trailers in the world, according to the company. According to their Web site: 'The largest trucking companies in
the world regularly use InterClean systems to successfully wash their fleets. All these systems are unattended, automated and require
no detailing. Several of these InterClean systems exceed 7,000 washes monthly, with practically no maintenance required.
InterClean commercial truck washes can wash all vehicles that cannot be washed by conventional commercial car washes.'
My surveillance of the Lake Orion Trailer Park in Lake Orion, Mich., also revealed highly unusual activity, with people entering
and leaving the trailers on a daily basis—sometimes hourly. It should be noted that this is only one of tens of thousands of trailer
parks across America. These may very well be 'sleeper cells.'
From my car outside the Lake Orion Trailer Park I observed large, overweight individuals leaving their trailers and getting into
their cars throughout the day. It was the uniformity of their behavior that was highly suspicious: Almost to a one, they went to Wal-Mart.
It is well-known that Wal-Mart sells numerous items—from ammonia to ammunition—that can be used for explosives and biological
agents.
In his next report to the U.N., if Secretary Powell really wants to make a case, he should present some of the photos I have taken
of these individuals carrying many bags—white, plastic bags—from their cars to the trailers after they have returned from Wal-Mart,
often by cover of night. As Powell told U.N. ambassadors in February, 'These are not assertions. What we're giving you are facts and
conclusions based on solid intelligence.' What more do you need to know?
Michelangelo Signorile hosts a national radio show each weekday from 1 - 4 p.m. EST on Sirius Satellite Radio, stream 149. He
can be reached at www.signorile.com
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